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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

There is a conspiracy to prevent Americans from eating turkey eggs

I think that there's a conspiracy theory out there for us to not eat turkey eggs... It sounds to me like the most dangerous game. Like, it probably tastes better because it's so hard to get them. [Big Cat: They're rare.] Now I really want to eat turkey eggs because of everything this website has told me.

While turkey eggs are edible and were historically eaten, the reasons for their commercial absence (low production, cost) are economic rather than a conspiracy.

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Nov 25, 2020
#10083
Big CatBig Cat

Tom Brady cannot play well in games that start after 8 p.m.

I'm starting to believe the theory that Tom Brady cannot play after 8 p.m. at night. [PFT: I really do think this is true.] And as the game goes on, he gets worse. That interception that he threw in the third quarter... looked like Jameis Winston interceptions.

Brady did struggle in several prime-time games in 2020 (Saints, Rams), though he eventually won the Super Bowl.
Loss
Nov 25, 2020
#10084
Big CatBig Cat

The Buccaneers are a team full of names rather than a cohesive football team

It feels like they have a team full of names and not a football team. You know what I mean? They have some great players, but as a cohesive football team, sometimes it's looked bad against really good opponents.

The Bucs eventually proved this wrong by winning the Super Bowl as a very cohesive unit.
Loss
Nov 25, 2020
#10086
Big CatBig Cat

The Rams are a Super Bowl winning threat because of their matchup advantages

I've been talking about the Rams being a team that I put a future on them to win the Super Bowl like three weeks ago. I think they are a matchup problem for a lot of teams.

The Rams lost in the Divisional Round to the Packers in 2020.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.