Blake Bortles was the glue that held the Jaguars together

One must ask was Blake Bortles the glue that held the Jaguars together? Oh for sure. I mean, that's that's why I ran. Wanted to go to LA.

If you FaceTime anyone over 30 who is not a professional athlete, you're an asshole

Those are FaceTime [people]. That's true because every I have never not looked horrendous in a FaceTime... if you FaceTime anyone over 30 who is not a professional athlete, you're actually an asshole.

Jameis Winston will record a touchdown, an interception, and a fumble on Saturday

The special famous Jameis hat-trick: Jameis [Winston] to record over a half a touchdown, half an interception and a half a fumble. I love that one.

The Detroit Pistons are moving in the right direction despite their Game 7 loss

The progression of the Pistons along the way is like, what were they, two years ago? They won like 16 or 18 games. They were so bad. Last year they had competitive series against The Knicks. Then this year, the natural progression from that is, let's take the regular season super seriously. Let's win all the games that we can get a high seed... I would say the totality of this season, we're still going the right direction in Detroit.

I will renounce my American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup

I will renounce American citizenship and become French if the Canadiens win the Stanley Cup this year... I'll probably need somebody to come and hang out with me and... the south of France is nice.

Patrick Reed is the first PAWG in the history of professional golf.

Patrick Reed, let me tell you, I think he might be the first PAWG golfer. He is. He's thick as hell. Like he was filling out. He also wears... the tight pants... he looks like early era Meghan Trainor... He bends over. He's like, ooh.