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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

This is an off year for college basketball

It's an off year for college basketball. I love it. Now. They lost him at home [referring to Duke].

The 2019-20 season was historically unusual, as it was eventually cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

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Dec 20, 2019
#8829
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Blake Bortles was the glue that held the Jaguars together

One must ask was Blake Bortles the glue that held the Jaguars together? Oh for sure. I mean, that's that's why I ran. Wanted to go to LA.

The Jaguars' culture did indeed collapse after 2017, though attributing it solely to Bortles is a comedic exaggeration.
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Dec 20, 2019
#22296
Big CatBig Cat

If you FaceTime anyone over 30 who is not a professional athlete, you're an asshole

Those are FaceTime [people]. That's true because every I have never not looked horrendous in a FaceTime... if you FaceTime anyone over 30 who is not a professional athlete, you're actually an asshole.

This is a subjective matter of social etiquette.
Loss
Dec 20, 2019·Picks
#8830
Big CatBig Cat

Jameis Winston will record a touchdown, an interception, and a fumble on Saturday

The special famous Jameis hat-trick: Jameis [Winston] to record over a half a touchdown, half an interception and a half a fumble. I love that one.

In the game on Dec 21, 2019, Winston recorded 0 passing/rushing touchdowns and 0 fumbles (though he did have 4 interceptions).

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Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.