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Win
Sep 7, 2016
#17189
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Trevor Siemian is the Tim Tebow of the 2016 Denver Broncos

I don't even care that Trevor Siemian is the starting quarterback. Every game he's been in, they've won. Absolutely. So he's the Tim Tebow of the Denver Broncos this year.

Siemian went 8-6 as a starter in 2016, a respectable winning record for a first-year starter, echoing the Tebow-esque 'he just wins' narrative briefly.

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Loss
Sep 7, 2016
#17188
Big CatBig Cat

Pardon My Take has more listeners than Bill Simmons

We have over 40 million listeners in six months. That's crazy... I'm just going to say it's more than Simmons. Yeah, it's more than [Bill] Simmons.

While PMT became the #1 sports podcast, 40 million listeners in the first 6 months of 2016 is an extreme exaggeration of unique listeners compared to established stars like Simmons at that time.
Push
Sep 7, 2016
#27076
Big CatBig Cat

Buying a Pardon My Take shirt makes you a part-owner of Larry the Goldfish

If you buy a Pardon My Take shirt, you are an owner of Larry [the Goldfish] like the Green Bay Packers, except you actually own something, not fake own it.

The 'ownership' is symbolic/satirical for marketing purposes and does not grant actual legal ownership of the goldfish or its winnings.
Loss
Sep 7, 2016·Who's Back
#17190
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Texas is back

I'm going to ask the question right now. Is Texas back? Texas is back. I think Texas is back. I mean, it was a statement win. Charlie Strong, he needed a statement win, right? Now he's back.

Texas finished the 2016 season 5-7 and Charlie Strong was fired. They were definitively not back.

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Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31796
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
Nov 2, 2026
#31800
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
Nov 2, 2026
#31802
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.