AJ Hawk 09/07/16

Pardon My Take has more listeners than Bill Simmons

We have over 40 million listeners in six months. That's crazy. I'm just going to say it's more than Simmons. Yeah, it's more than [Bill] Simmons.

Trevor Siemian is the Tim Tebow of the 2016 Denver Broncos

I don't even care that Trevor Siemian is the starting quarterback. Every game he's been in, they've won. Absolutely. So he's the Tim Tebow of the Denver Broncos this year.

Texas is back

I'm going to ask the question right now. Is Texas back? Texas is back. I think Texas is back. I mean, it was a statement win. Charlie Strong, he needed a statement win, right? Now he's back.

Wisconsin is the mediocre pushover neighbor of college football

Wisconsin's never back. They're never gone. They're just there. We literally are just like the neighbor who you can be like, hey, can I borrow your lawnmower and just not give it back for three months? And you know he's never going to come ask. It's a total pushover.

Notre Dame is heading in the wrong direction

If you had to describe Notre Dame for the last seven years, it's perfectly this. Are they back? Question mark. They've been almost back, sort of back, never fully back. But I think now they're going the wrong direction. Now they're set back.

I am officially not retired and looking for the right NFL situation

I guess I am officially not retired at the moment. I think I'd pick up the right call, like the right situation that came about. I'm not completely done.

Jay Cutler has a true gunslinger mentality that leads to extreme volatility

Jay would come out in the first half and sometimes throw four or five touchdowns, and then something would happen, and he'd throw four or five picks in the second half. So whatever that switch is that gets flipped, man, once it goes, he just starts firing the ball all over the place. But that's what makes him great. He's the true gunslinger mentality.

The Chicago Bears will win the NFC North in 2016

I got the Chicago Bears [to win the NFC North]. Love that move [signing Josh Sitton]. And also, Teddy Bridgewater got hurt. So, the only team I was worried about was the Vikings. And now they're out of the way.

The Arizona Cardinals will win the NFC West

NFC picks out west. I've got the Cardinals. I like Bruce Arians. I feel like everyone's played with Bruce Arians at some point.

The New York Giants will win the NFC East because Ben McAdoo is the best-dressed coach

I'm going to take the Giants and Ben McAdoo, the head coach, the best-dressed coach in the NFL.

Chad Kelly should legally change his name to Swag Kelly

Legally change your name to Swag. No way that will ever backfire when you're out of the NFL selling car insurance in bumfuck Mississippi. You will be Swag Kelly for life and you're good.

Mike Greenberg's belief that ties are more satisfying than overtime is the worst opinion ever

Mike Greenberg's dumb rules... I dislike overtime and college football so much that I genuinely believe ending in a tie is not only more just, it is more satisfying too. That has to be the worst opinion of all time.

College football overtime should be replaced by a coaching fist fight or Oklahoma drill

I think that if we actually just had the coaches have a fist fight, like a boxing thing. Or maybe the coaches do the Oklahoma drill in the middle [of the field]. Who wouldn't watch that?

Ellen DeGeneres will get pregnant this year

I would love to see Ellen DeGeneres get it done [get pregnant]. I think this might be the year she thinks she's sexy. And I would like to see a Skip Bayless Ellen DeGeneres kid.

Russell Wilson will have a kid by February 2017

My new pick is Russell Wilson. Russell Wilson is deaf[initely]—now that I think about it, Russell Wilson is absolutely—he's going to have a kid. He for sure is having a kid. I'm going to call it February of next year.