Takes

NBA players are right to sit out games if we judge them solely on championship rings

I actually want to point the finger back at the fans and media for this one. Because if there's one thing that all the fans and media do is they count rings... If these guys are sitting out because they're trying to win rings, I mean, they're literally trying to put themselves in the best position to win the thing that we judge their entire worth on.

If they took away shots over 20 feet, Steph Curry would be an average player

If they took away the 20 to 50-foot shot, then Steph Curry would probably only average like 22 points a game.

The Golden State Warriors are baby back bitches

Anytime the Warriors get discussed on this show, it gets hot. Because they're baby back bitches.

I believe everything LeVar Ball says; Lonzo Ball is awesome

I now am believing everything that LeVar Ball says because Lonzo Ball was unbelievable against Cincinnati... He is awesome. And so billion-dollar contract, shoe contract, yep, sign him up.

Magic Johnson was the absolutely right hire to lead the Lakers' front office

Absolutely. We love Magic... Everything Magic does is fit. You know, Magic is, you know, he's one of those rare beacons of hope. I mean, look, come on. They told Magic he was going to die, and now look at him. He's just like, Magic is perfect.

Performance-enhancing drug use in sports is the moral equivalent of Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme

I am opposed to performance-enhancing drug use because in competition where you have a level playing field because that world is the same as what Bernie Madoff did. Because Bernie Madoff, he lied. He cheated, he stole, and he bullied his way to the top.

Larry Bird is the greatest player I ever played with

Greatest player I ever played with... He made us all play better... Larry never got tired of just torching other people, and he's incredibly driven. He's a brilliant guy. He loves to portray himself as the hick from French Lick. Don't ever buy into that. This guy is so sharp, and so smart, and so pure.

Kevin Durant is a front-running coward and a baby back bitch

Kevin Durant, pros. He's probably top three NBA player, probably best scorer, pure scorer in the NBA. Cons, skinny knees, slouches, and is a coward, front-running coward, and a baby back bitch.

We will at least triple our money betting on college basketball games in Las Vegas

Follow us tomorrow while we try to get rich... We're going to double at least, I'm going to say triple. Triple.

Kevin Durant is the real NBA MVP because the Warriors are struggling without him

But you forgot the dark horse, the guy who gets injured, and the team's not as good, Kevin Durant. When he gets his knee injury and everyone says, well, look at the Warriors now. They're 2-2 since he got injured. Maybe he's the MVP, even though he's not going to play the entire season.

James Harden's MVP argument is just that he isn't as terrible at defense as he used to be

Basically James Harden's whole argument is he's not as shitty at defense as he used to be. He tries a little bit on defense. Was he slow playing us this entire time? Like sitting and bagging us on defense and just waiting for a season to give half of a shit?

Dirk Nowitzki has one of the most underrated careers in NBA history

[Dirk Nowitzki] is by far one of the most underrated careers because you kind of just forgot about him after he won the finals but he has been like quietly incredible for so so long.

David Stern is the most important man in the history of basketball

David Stern, the most important man in the history of all basketball. He's PFT's size. Little tiny guy over here in a world built for preschool children, right? But here's David Stern, who never shot a basket, but he brought the business acumen... to use the NBA to make the world a better place.

Lavar Ball is just the basketball version of Kris Jenner

That Lavar Ball is just the basketball Kris Jenner. I don't know what that means, but I'm into it. He is basically going to market his sons so relentlessly and throw them in our face.

Music and atmosphere in NBA arenas directly affects player rhythm and pace

It was like the sloppiest game ever, and that's not just because the Knicks are always sloppy, but it was like no one could get a rhythm... Then they put the music on in the second half, and the pace picked right up, and they almost hit the over... So it was clear that the music did actually affect the players.

I could still average 10 points and 5 assists in the NBA right now

I still play with pros all the time. There's moments where you watch guys who just got paid $60, $70, $80 million for having marginal numbers where I'm not going to sit there and tell you, I feel like I can get nine or ten points a game in the league. I feel like I can get four or five assists in a game.

Michael Jordan could still average 15 points and 5 assists in the NBA right now

I don't want to say it, but I think he knows that I know that he knows he could probably still drop like 15 with maybe five assists a night in the NBA.

Kevin Durant will never be 100% for the rest of the season

I'm banking on Kevin Durant never being 100% for the rest of the year. Do you think the Warriors are now vulnerable, or is that just wishful thinking from someone who's a Warrior hater?

Kevin Durant likely won't lose his shooting rhythm despite his injury

He actually has a history of coming back from injury pretty well... he doesn't seem to lose his shooting rhythm. The thing that's a question mark... is that if he is 5%, 10% off, that's where you could see a big turn... it just wrecks all their form.

Andrew Bogut joined the Cavs out of pettiness to beat the Warriors

The question to Andrew Bogut is, is he petty enough that he wants to go play for the Cavs just for the shot to upset or to beat the Warriors in the finals as opposed to collecting the extra $3 million that he could have gotten if he had gone to the Rockets? And the answer apparently is yes.

LeBron James reading 'The Godfather' while walking is a calculated camera stunt

Did you see last night LeBron walking from the bus to the locker room reading The Godfather? And did you also think that was the lamest, most ridiculous thing you've ever seen in your entire life?... He was doing it for camera. He wasn't actually reading.

DeMarcus Cousins will fail in New Orleans because he blames others for his problems

It does feel like he's the type of guy that blames everyone else for his problems because the refs are on him and his teammates stink... It feels like it's not going to work in New Orleans. It feels like he's that type of guy who's like, I'm so talented and the world kind of owes me something.

The Chicago Bulls will beat the Warriors tonight on TNT and then lose to a bad team

They're going to beat the Warriors tonight. It's a home game on TNT on a Thursday night. The Bulls will beat the Warriors, and I will say the Bulls are back... and then they lose to some shitty-ass team.

Deron Williams was signed by the Cavs just so LeBron could have another person to blame

LeBron blames. Deron Williams is on his team. He missed a huge wide-open three against the Celtics... I think Deron Williams was signed with the Cavs just so LeBron could have another person to blame.

The New York Knicks are the NBA team I would coach (kidding)

[What NBA team would you coach?] The Knicks. Madison Square Garden. But we're kidding, of course, because I don't want to leave.

Paul Pierce was a loser before Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen arrived

Draymond came over the top today and said, people tend to forget that [Pierce] was struggling to get to the playoffs. He was on the trade block every year, then all of a sudden Ray Allen and KG showed up. Let's not forget that.

John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins will eventually play together in the NBA

I actually think there's a decent – I think [John Wall] and [DeMarcus Cousins] will play together before they're done. They've been saying that for years.

Shaquille O'Neal is a victim of 'athlete funny' and is not actually humorous

Shaq has always been a victim of athlete funny. Where someone in the locker room once told Shaq he was funny, and he has gone with that throughout his whole career thinking he is actually humorous, and people want to hear Shaq tell jokes when in reality he's not funny.

LaVar Ball is like a bird that sits on a rhino and shits everywhere

[Lonzo Ball's] father is going to be over his shoulder the whole time. His father is like one of those birds that sits on the back of a rhino and shits everywhere. That's what he's going to be.

The Bulls front office members Gar Forman and John Paxson are morons for their trade deadline approach

The Bulls, my Bulls made a trade, and they're morons per usual. They're doing the old, we're trying to rebuild on the fly, which has never worked... Doug McDermott and Taj Gibson to the Thunder is not a Woj bomb. That's just a guard and Pax are fucking morons.

The Celtics will lose in the second round because they shoot too many threes and miss

I mean, I would have liked Butler or Paul George... They're rumored to get everyone, and they get no one... They're going to lose in the second round because they're going to shoot a million threes and miss.

The Warriors vs. Pelicans first-round series will be lame because Draymond Green will just punch Boogie Cousins in the dick

So what you're going end up seeing here is the Warriors taking on the Pelicans in the first round... I'm here to tell you that it's not [going to be awesome]. It's going to be lame. Draymond Green, all he does is punch people in the dick, and getting punched in the dick is real weakness in [Boogie Cousins'] game.

Jimmy Butler is an incredible bargain because he signed his max contract before the salary cap spiked

I dropped Jimmy Butler contract truth, because Jimmy Butler is actually a great deal. He signed the max contract before the new salary cap, so he's going to be cheap for the next three years.

Magic Johnson will be a successful Lakers president as long as they win games

The Lakers magic is going to do a good job if the Lakers win basketball games... I think he's also going to do a good job if he gets good players on the Lakers.

Kyrie Irving's flat earth comments were just a headline grab or a prank on the media

[Kyrie Irving] was doing this for headlines. I can't decide if it's either a headline for the podcast... or if it was simply all the NBA players getting together and being like, let's prank the media, let's fuck with them.

The Dunk Contest is boring because there are a finite amount of body positions possible

It's not like the dunks aren't super impressive. It's just that we've seen every dunk. It's like watching porn. There's a finite amount of body positions that the human form can get into. Eventually, you just get bored with it.

Carmelo Anthony's legacy is choosing the most money over winning championships

Thoughts and prayers to the man [Carmelo Anthony] who has taken every single dollar at every turn in his career instead of maybe trying to win a championship... He took the most amount of money to stay in the dumpster fire that is New York. That's kind of your situation, Melo.

Kobe Bryant failed in his attempt to copy Michael Jordan's entire career

Do you ever sit back and you are like, damn, Kobe Bryant tried to copy everything Michael Jordan did and he totally failed?

Magic Johnson is the greatest basketball player and the number one Laker of all time

Magic Johnson. Without a doubt. He's the number one basketball... him and Larry Bird, they are the NBA. Magic and Bird put NBA in prime time.

LeBron James is a coward for not participating in the NBA Dunk Contest

LeBron James that's not in the dunk contest again. Kind of a coward move. Michael Jordan was in the dunk contest. Back in the day, you had your best athletes in it. Vince Carter. You had your Vinces, your J.R. Smiths. You had everybody.

Luke Walton was a better coach for the Golden State Warriors than Steve Kerr

I would actually say [the Warriors are] Luke Walton's team. People forget he was their coach in the first half last year. They were a lot better then.

The Houston Rockets got 100 times better simply by letting Dwight Howard leave

I went Dwight Howard. Like, he just left, and [the Rockets] got 100 times better. Addition by subtraction. I love it.

Joel Embiid will stop being funny on Twitter when he starts playing poorly or getting hurt more

I predicted like a month ago how Joel would not be so funny on Twitter when he starts fucking up. So this is the first one. He's injured like every other day. He's got a lot of time to go back and forth. Take away his umlaut over the Joel. You're just Joel now.

Rajon Rondo passes up easy layups specifically to hunt for assists

You know what Rondo does that's so fucking annoying? Everything, but he also loves, loves, loves to pass up super easy layups just to get assists. He's the worst with that. He did that today when the Bulls got smoked by the Wolves. He was ready to go for a layup, and then he passed it for a three-pointer. Dude, just fucking shoot the layup. Stop trying to get assists.

Grayson Allen will be a first-round NBA draft pick

Were we saying before that Grayson Allen's going to be a top 10 pick? Top first round pick? No. He's going to be first round pick. Maybe very, very late.

James Dolan planted security to get Charles Oakley banned from MSG

I think it's James Dolan continues to disrespect the Garden by putting out awful teams and not caring. And I think, stay woke, that was all a plant to get him [Oakley] banned from the Garden forever because if you noticed, it was security guards all around him. He got mad because I think that's just Charles Oakley's resting heartbeat.

Phil Jackson is only at the Knicks because James Dolan is a sucker

I respect [Phil Jackson] for spotting the sucker in the room and basically saying, oh, James Dolan wants me to come and work for him, and I don't have to move, and I don't have to do anything, and he's going to pay me millions of dollars. What's the worst going to happen?

The Cavaliers are now Kyrie Irving's team, not LeBron James'

Kyrie hit the big shot. You know why? So now here's the question. This is Kyrie's team.

The Celtics will win the title because Tom Brady texted Isaiah Thomas

He [Brady] went out of his way to text Isaiah Thomas... and say, it's your turn. ... I think when someone like Tom Brady can reach it out to you, that can really [lead to a title].

Michael Jordan is better than LeBron James because he has the clutch gene

LeBron is a fraud. He's a hot fraud. Michael Jordan's all that. He's an all that guy. Get your 32, 11, 6, bank it. More importantly, clutch gene.