Takes

The Bears are going to suck for the rest of my life and the Packers will be good

This is probably the lowest I've felt in a very, very long time. Yeah, that was terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible. I, it's the same as it ever was. I am, I'm living in the worst version of Groundhogs Day possible. I had all the hope, all the expectations. I knew the defense was gonna suck. So I'm not that surprised that Jordan Love looked good. ... but yeah, that was really, really bad. And everything I was hoping for, I know it's a long season, but it feels like it's, the Bears are just gonna suck for the rest of my life. And the Packers are gonna be good for the rest of my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

Jordan Love is average at best and the Bears are just that bad

I still don't think Jordan Love's that good. I don't, I think the Bears are just that bad. I think Jordan Love's average at best.

The Bears will finish 11 and 5 and beat the Chiefs

I do think the Bears are still gonna be good this year. And Justin Fields, he's, they're gonna open it up. They're gonna beat the Bucs. I'm now, I'm back. They're gonna beat the Bucs. And guess what? They're gonna be beat the Chiefs. They are. Chris Jones won't be playing still. The Bears are gonna be 11 and five this year.

The Patriots are going to win games that people expect them to lose

I'm just saying like, as bad as it was, I still think the, this, this team is gonna, you know, win some games that people expect 'em to lose.

The Jets will beat the Bills on Monday Night Football

Pretty nervous, but I think we're gonna win. ... I'm just going for it.

The Chiefs would have won the season opener against the Lions if Kadarius Toney didn't play

I actually think the Chiefs would've won that game without Kadarius Toney. He gave them an a pick six. He then dropped that ball at the end of the game where it was just easily catchable. He dropped that third down conversion when the guy ran across his face. If you just take him away and just have someone run routes but never get the ball, you win that game.

Matt Nagy is a major problem for the Kansas City Chiefs offense

I have one thing that Chiefs fans need to be worried about. It's one name and his name's Matt Nagy. Eric Bieniemy is no longer with the Chiefs and Chiefs fans, you saw Matt Nagy in all his glory on that third and two when they got so cute. That was a Nagy special. The idiocy of taking the ball outta Patrick Mahomes' hands on a third and two is mind blowing.

Joe Burrow will be rusty and struggle in Week 1 against the Browns

Joe Burrow misses half of training camp again. What happened last year? He threw four picks against the Steelers and lost in overtime. I feel like he's gonna be rusty again. I think the Bengals will be there long term. But I think this is a tough spot for the Bengals Week one with Joe Burrow coming back from not practicing at all.

This is a legacy-defining season for Kyle Shanahan where he must win the Super Bowl

I'm ready to say it. I think this is a legacy year for Kyle Shanahan. I think he has to win the Super Bowl or else his pristine championship pedigree has been tarnished. If he wins the Super Bowl, he will be the number one coach in the NFL. This is a legacy defining season for him.

The Week 1 Packers vs. Bears game is the biggest game in the history of the Bears franchise

I have said this on many platforms, but I do, it's a slightly hyperbolic, but I do think that this might be the biggest game in Bears franchise history. It feels so significant because it is the Packers, because it's Jordan Love's first real season, Justin Fields, big season hopefully coming up.

Justin Fields will have a better NFL career than Trevor Lawrence

I think [Justin Fields] is gonna be better. He's gonna have a better career than Trevor Lawrence. I'm gonna stand by that commitment. I said it for my balls one time last year. Not for my brain, but sometimes I'm fielding my feelings right now and it's coming from my balls.

The Rams will be so bad this season that they will have a top-five draft pick

I actually think the Rams are gonna be really, really bad. Cooper Kupp obviously out. I feel like Matthew Stafford... I don't know what to expect. They're resetting the whole deck. I actually think, and quote me if I'm wrong, I believe that next year, come late April, the Los Angeles Rams will be selecting in the first round... maybe a little top five pick.

The New England Patriots will win 11 games this season

I have high expectations for this team. But the national media like yourself think they have no shot. I think they'll win 11. 11 [wins] and seven [losses].

If Dan Marino played in today's NFL, he would pass for 6,000 yards in a season

Marino changed the game. Marino in today's game, he'd approach 6,000 yards probably. He'd throw for 50 [touchdowns] because that wasn't the difficulty for him. He was doing that before. And he is convincing Don Shula a defensive minded head coach to let him throw the ball as much as he wants.

Mike White will win more games as the Dolphins starter this year than Tua Tagovailoa

My spiciest NFL take is Mike White will win more games for the Dolphins than Tua Tagovailoa. I just did this the other day. I'm rooting for him [Tua]... I'll take that back. No, I'll stand by it.

Tom Brady will come out of retirement to play for the New York Jets

Tom Brady comes out of retirement. And he comes out of retirement to play for the Jets.

I am betting the Lions money line against the Chiefs in Week 1

I'm going Lions money line... I this is gonna be a coming out party of the Lions. We're all betting the Lions on Thursday, which is a terrible, terrible thing for the Lions.

I'm betting Commanders minus 7 against the Cardinals in Week 1

Commanders minus seven. Can I just say that? Will you allow me to take Commanders minus seven?... This, this is my makeup for Texas Tech. I'm doubling down. Commies or bust.

The Jacksonville Jaguars will represent the AFC in the Super Bowl

Jacksonville's a slam dunk in their division... But here's why. They're, they're a really good team this year to keep an eye on to go to the Super Bowl, which I think they're going to by the way... If they don't win 13 games it's a disaster by the way. They're gonna score 500 points.

Russell Wilson is unfixable and was never the elite quarterback people thought he was

Is Russell Wilson unfixable? Yeah. To ever be the quarterback that everybody thought he was. Yes. He's never gonna be that. He never was. That he was a good functional quarterback who had the top ranked scoring defense four straight years in the league... Then he had a couple good years and then he was done.

The New England Patriots have one of the worst rosters and offensive lines in the NFL

You look at that roster, ugh. It's bad. The offensive line isn't good. The questions about Mac Jones, the receivers... they're the worst quarterback team in the division... New England's one of [the worst O-lines]. Their line stinks.

The Green Bay Packers will win the NFC North in 2023

Division winners. Eagles Packers. Yes. The Packers are winning that division, the 49ers and the Saints... Jordan Love is gonna surprise everybody... I think sitting for three years has helped him and going there and watching him practice this summer... he's got a different feel to him.

Sam Howell will surprise people and lead the Commanders to a Wild Card spot

I think Sam Howell's gonna surprise everybody. I do... he's gonna have a good year for them. It can't be any worse than they were at quarterback the last couple years... Wild Card. Dallas, Washington.

Trevor Lawrence will win the NFL MVP award

Trevor Lawrence for MVP too... Their offense is what Calvin Ridley will mean to that offense is going to change the way they play.

The 49ers will win the Super Bowl against the Jaguars

Jacksonville beats Buffalo in Jacksonville [in the AFC Championship]... San Francisco beats the Eagles in San Francisco because they have a favorable division. And then the 49ers... Kyle Shanahan finally wins his ring and is anointed best coach in the league.

Running backs should not be subject to the franchise tag

I think we're one of the positions that I think should not be on a tag. I think, you know, the beat, the beat that we take, the, the overload. You know, if you're one of those great and one of those special players, you get the overload. You get 400 touches a year damn near. So it's like, no, I think we shouldn't, we shouldn't be able to get a tag.

The Chargers will miss the playoffs this year

So wait, no Chargers? No Chargers. I think the argument against a team, any team that you like in the AFC not making the playoffs is much more an argument about teams that you do like. And for the Chargers, it's just vibes in general. They always get injured.

The Steelers' consecutive non-losing seasons streak ends this year

I think this streak comes to an end this year... Someone has to be last in that division, right? And I think that's the Steelers, not the Browns.

The Ravens are a sleeping giant in the AFC

Ravens I think are a sleeping giant. I think they are at this point, you can't call 'em a sleeping giant, but a team that probably is not discussed as much as Buffalo, Kansas City and Cincinnati I think is awesome. I love the Ravens this year.

Dak Prescott sucks

He sucks. He sucks. He sucks. Prescott sucks. He's a byproduct of the star in his helmet. He sucks.

Dak Prescott will have a bounce-back season and sign a $50M+ extension

I am a Dak guy. At some point I expect Dak to sign a pretty unbelievable extension. Like probably $50 million or more per year. And I'm right to quote, 'this will be a bounce back Dak season.'

The NFL is due for a 'tight end tax' to correct the market for elite players like Travis Kelce

Travis Kelce would be like the 27th highest paid wide receiver if you just made him a wide receiver right now. It's absurd. We're due for like a little bit of a tight end tax because there are guys like Brock Bowers from Georgia this year is gonna be a problem. There's some legit college prospects that give me some hope that the tight end spot can get closer in line.

Jordan Addison and Zay Flowers are going too late in fantasy drafts

Jordan Addison... he's a first round pick, but he's going like way too late in drafts right now. Zay Flowers from the Ravens as well.

Ty Chandler or Roschon Johnson could steal starting running back roles this year

You have to find the running back room that you're not totally positive that the starter is gonna keep his job for the full season. There's like the non-zero chance that Ty Chandler... eventually becomes the starter. Roschon Johnson for the Bears, right? Would you be totally surprised if Roschon like had a real role at some point?

The Rams are going to be the worst team in the league

And Cooper Kupp got hurt again. The Rams are going to be the worst team in the league.

My proprietary betting strategy for 2023 is to fade the Cardinals

I have a new proprietary betting strategy for this year. It's hot. Just fade The Cardinals. I don't believe their head coach. I don't believe... he did like the fire up speech for the guys... his speech was just like looking around the room being like, who here took the bus to get here? Well, you better light a fire... and I was like, fuck this guy. Yeah, I'm out.

The Jets will only win eight games in 2023

I still think they're [the Jets] only gonna win 8 games. Sorry folks. I'm a Jets fan. I've seen this.

The AFC will be an offensive juggernaut because everyone is chasing Patrick Mahomes

I think that the AFC is going to be an offensive juggernaut. And I think that really comes from Patrick Mahomes and everyone chasing him.

Justin Fields will be the Jalen Hurts of the 2023 season

We're then gonna reach for in round three... for Justin Fields. I have a feeling he's gonna be the Jalen Hurts of this season. We have to ensure that we get him.

Jonathan Taylor will not play at all this season

I would not [draft Jonathan Taylor]. I don't think he's gonna play this season at all. I don't think he's gonna play.

Darren Waller will be right up there with Travis Kelce for tight end production

We are going to take Darren Waller. We're reaching in the fourth round. We're taking him... I think he's gonna be right up there with Kelce.

Chase Claypool is a great late-round flyer in fantasy

Chase Claypool. I actually think that he could... he's playing for money. He slots in better now that DJ Moore's there. Just a flyer [in the 13th or 14th round].

Brock Purdy is going to have a bad season and we'll see why he was Mr. Irrelevant

Brock Purdy ain't gonna cut it... I think we're gonna find out why he's called Mr. Irrelevant. I think he's gonna have a bad season.

Tom Brady will eventually return to play for the New England Patriots this season

I will Tom Brady back to the Patriots. ... Tom Brady has been linked to conversations coming back to New England Patriots this year per us.

The 49ers trade for Trey Lance is one of the worst busts in NFL history

Find another team that trades three first round picks and misses that badly on a quarterback and still is potentially a Super Bowl team... but that has to be one of the worst bust slash trades in, in NFL history.

Fans will clamor for Trey Lance the moment Dak Prescott throws his first interception

I am, I'm very much looking forward to though the first terrible interception. Yes. Dak Prescott throws. Yes. I will be clamoring, I'll be standing on the table for Trey Lance... the first Dak interception of the season's gonna hit so different. Just show Trey Lance on the sideline. Be like, well it did bring in Trey Lance. Oh yeah. The camera's gonna be right on 'em.

Aaron Rodgers is going to be incredible for the Jets

[Rodgers] is gonna be incredible. Yeah. I watched the first two drives and then it was college football. That's all I needed.

The Jaguars will take another step forward because Doug Pederson brings a calm influence to the quarterback

Jaguars I think are, are gonna be a team that, you know, I remember that that game down there in the playoffs... I like what they're doing down there. I like Doug. I think Doug brings a, a calm particularly to the, the quarterback room.

Sean Payton will fix Russell Wilson by stripping away the extras and getting back to basics

I think Russell is a guy that I think needed Sean Payton to come in... Sean is the guy that will come in and he is not afraid to tell you, you know, the office thing. That's not No, we're not doing that... We're gonna get back to the basics. We're gonna get back to run the football, we're gonna make the offensive line better. We're, we're gonna get back to doing the things and, and tailor the offense to a version of what Sean's run.

Modern NFL players are undeniably bigger, stronger, and faster than the 80s generation

It's, trust me, I, I I have no problem saying that. It's bigger, it's stronger, it's faster. Yeah. And, you know, that's the way it is... biggest offensive line's three 20 across the board. Different game.