Takes

Kirk Cousins has been 'activated' by Kevin O'Connell's new offense

I think cousins has been activated... Kirk cousins this year has the glowing red eyes. He's ready to go. He's ready to take off.

The Raiders will win the AFC West

Raiders are winning the AFC west. I'm a believer in the ecosystem that they have over there. I think Derek Carr is, I think he's a good football player... with McDaniels and you know, Davante Adams going over there... They got Waller. They got Hunter Renfrow. Who's a stud... their offense is really good.

The Vikings will win the NFC North

I like Minnesota winning the north. Kevin O'Connell... always a smart guy, always knew Xs and Os. I like, I like, I liked them. I think Jefferson is, is outrageous... I think there's a little trouble in, in Green Bay.

The Rams will struggle this year; the Super Bowl hangover is real

I think the Rams are gonna struggle. I think, I think the hangover's real. And something's up with Stafford's elbow. The elbow did not—that doesn't look good... he's got the sleeve on there... that's there for medical.

The Bills will win the Super Bowl over the Buccaneers

Bills versus the Bucks, but the Bills are gonna win. Bills are winning it... If they stay healthy, they're gonna be a problem.

The Chiefs' offense will be condensed and struggle more without Tyreek Hill

It's gonna be interesting to see them without Tyreek Hill... [Hill] opens up the field in so many different ways with that speed... When you lose that, it condenses the offense... I want to see if [Mahomes] got better at those things [throwing inside the pocket], because you're gonna have to do that. He's gonna have to have these long methodical drives.

The Giants are 'big stinky poop' and will lose to the Titans

Titans minus five and a half at home against the Giants. I think the Giants are big stinky poop... I think that the Titans, we have a bad taste in their mouth from them from last year in the playoffs... Ryan Tannehill is good enough to beat the Giants who I think are gonna be very bad this year by six points at home.

Baker Mayfield is ready to beat the Browns in a revenge game

Mine is also a revenge game. It is Carolina minus one and a half against the Browns. Baker is ready. We all know Baker, so we don't know what to expect... Baker is the one guy that I will probably always bet on in a revenge game because he does take it way more seriously.

The Bears will be frisky and cover +7 against the 49ers

I'm just gonna take the biggest [underdog]. The Bears. Seven points week one is a lot... There's a lot of turmoil in San Francisco. Trey Lance, Jimmy G you don't know what's going on... Seven points is the lot in the NFL.

The Cardinals are a must-bet in the month of September

I'm gonna change my underdog to the Cardinals. Cause I did tell you all off season. I have to bet the Cardinals in September... I have the reminder again today. So I'm gonna in that game, we didn't talk about Cardinal's Chiefs is gonna be a very fun afternoon game.

The Denver Broncos will be the most disappointing team in the AFC in 2022

The Broncos will be the most disappointing team I'm and, and it's not because of Russell Wilson... I think their offensive line has issues and, and they have a couple other issues on defense.

The Houston Texans will be better than people expect in 2022

I'll give you a team. That's gonna be a little bit better than everybody thinks. They'll be the Texans... I'm a big Davis Mills guy... I think the Texans are gonna, they're not gonna win 10 games, but they're gonna be better than you think they are.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers will disappoint and miss out on winning the NFC South

I think the Bucs are gonna be a little disappointing... I don't think they're gonna win the division... Brady when he has interior pressure... he doesn't move that well. And he really doesn't like it... I think Tampa might be the going in the wrong direction team.

The Buffalo Bills will beat the Green Bay Packers in the Super Bowl with Josh Allen as MVP

It's the Buffalo Bills beating the Green Bay Packers and Josh Allen will win the MVP... he'll win the MVP. I like one thing though. Just make sure that 13 seconds doesn't blow your chances this time around.

The Detroit Lions will finish the season 1-16

I have the Detroit Lions going 1-15... excuse me 1-16... I'm gonna be rooting against him every fucking game for rest of my life because of Tom Kennedy... fuck them where they bring this scumbag back.

The Kansas City Chiefs will miss the playoffs entirely in 2022

Chiefs 10 and 7 do not make the playoffs. Okay. So fuck the Chiefs. They're the most overrated team ever. They suck.

The LA Rams over 10.5 wins is the biggest bet anyone should ever make

Rams over 10 and a half should be the biggest bet anyone's ever made in their life... over 10 and a half on the Rams is stealing money. Stealing cash. I mean, why even talk about it? It's like stealing fucking money.

The Minnesota Vikings will make it to Championship Sunday

I think the Vikings will be dark horse... I think they're gonna win the NFC North. I think they're gonna make it to championship Sunday... against the Eagles. The Eagles are gonna fucking demolish them.

You are a scumbag if you don't bet the over on the Bills-Rams season opener

You're scumbag if you don't bet this over... I've been saying the over since they announced the game... I'm taking the over no matter what.

Stetson Bennett would be great on a good NFL team

I'm kind of kind of thinking Stetson Bennett. It might be a pro, even though he's got like the best team around him, he, he looked awesome. Put him on a really good NFL team, then he'll be great.

Tom Brady will win Gisele back by winning another Super Bowl

I think you have to take the Bucs for the season because if we know anything about Tom Brady, he's like, I'm gonna win her back by winning another Super Bowl.

Patrick Mahomes will regret the 10-year contract he signed with the Chiefs

As first reported on Pardon My Take, I think the day that Patrick Mahomes signed his contract, he's going to regret that contract in like three years.

The Denver Broncos will be an offensive powerhouse in 2022

I believe the Broncos are going to have a pretty epic season. I think it's going to be an offensive powerhouse. I also have a theory about the Broncos because the air is thin up there, they just air it out... and Wilson is just throwing it in the air and the ball travels farther.

Do not draft any Los Angeles Rams players for fantasy football

No Rams, no Rams at all. Not one... I have never met a Rams fan ever until about seven months ago. And it's just at Los Angeles, they're just, it's a town of bandwagons. It just drives me crazy.

Jalen Hurts is the only player worth drafting from the NFC East

Only Jalen Hurts. No one else in the NFC East, only Jalen... I think he's going to have a good season. Drafted before Joe Burrow, you believe that?

Davis Mills and Brandin Cooks will have a breakout year together

I believe Davis Mills who went to Stanford... Davis Mills and Brandin Cooks could have that Braylon Edwards/Derek Anderson year that no one was expecting. They're super cheap. I love a bargain.

The Jacksonville Jaguars are officially back

The Jags are better. The Jags are back. I like the Jags again. I love Etienne. I think he comes at a bargain. I love Trevor Lawrence and my sleeper this season: Evan Engram.

Tom Brady won the legacy battle; Bill Belichick needed Brady more

Brady won. Bill Belichick needed Brady. Bill Belichick needed Brady. It's as simple as that.

Tom Kennedy will be cut by the Lions and signed by the New England Patriots

Tom Kennedy is going to be cut and then he's going to be signed by the New England Patriots. Not only does he fit the bill for New England Patriots... Bill Belichick, he opens his eyes, he looks at Tom Kennedy, he's like, that's my next Wes Welker.

Josh Johnson will play for at least two more NFL teams this year

Josh Johnson got cut. He's played on 14 teams now. He'll probably play for at least two more this year. I love the fact that he's the guy that you call when you don't have another guy.

Raiders' first-round draft picks carry a permanent 'stink' and are high-risk assets

I've always said that even when you're doing a trade with a team like the Raiders, if you're taking their picks, they still have some of the stink of the Raiders on them... giving them more picks is like giving JPP [Jason Pierre-Paul] more fireworks.

The Bears should sign Alex Leatherwood because he's a former first-rounder

I'm not shaming Alex Leatherwood because he is under my first-round theory. The Bears should go get him because he's still a great player... Once he gets to another franchise, then his stock is immediately up.

Baker Mayfield will 'fuck up' the Cleveland Browns in Week 1

My hot seat are the Browns. Baker Mayfield... was quoted saying 'I'm going to fuck them up' in regards to the Browns. That's my hot seat Baker.

Rumors of friction with Tom Brady were completely false

It was a big one [the rumor of friction]. It's nothing could be further from the truth. We have a great relationship... Tom, he's asking more questions and I throw him in the golf cart and he's old enough and I can drive him off the field.

Tom Brady is throwing the ball better at age 45 than he did two years ago

He's throwing better now. It's crazy... he's got great mechanics. He's one of those full body throwers. He's not using all just arm. Tom, he's an amazing human being... he's throwing the ball better and I've ever seen him throw it.

Andrew Luck was the best quarterback I ever coached, even just as a rookie

Andrew Luck. Number one. Really? I only had him as a rookie, but he was unbelievable. Skilled wise is off the chart, but mentally he was right there with Peyton and Andrew and Tom.

Tom Brady will likely play for a couple more years but not five

Nothing surprises me with Tom. I don't know about five [more years], but a couple for sure. He's throwing him all better than he did when he two years ago.

Aaron Rodgers should be in jail for his admissions on Joe Rogan

Aaron Rodgers should be in jail. He went on Joe Rogan... he admitted to playing games on Percocet... I'm going to have a lawyer go through the transcript and just get an entire list of all the things that are felonies that he admitted to.

Tom Brady looks gaunt following his mystery absence

I'm going to be honest. I think [Tom Brady] looks gaunt like the definition of the word gaunt.

The Eagles will not make the Super Bowl this year

We had Aaron Schatz come on the show and he picked the Eagles to go to the Super Bowl this year. I'm saying, I don't see that happening. I think Jalen Hurts is good. I think he'll take another step. I don't think that step is going to be to the Super Bowl.

The Vikings are a Super Bowl dark horse over the Eagles

I think the Vikings, I would go with them as Super Bowl dark horse over the Philadelphia Eagles. ... I think Kevin O'Connell going over there, what he can do, I mean, we've already heard Justin Jefferson say, Hey, like I see what Cooper Kupp was able to do in that offense. I'm fired up to see what I can do.

The Buffalo Bills will win the Super Bowl behind Josh Allen

I'm going with the Buffalo Bills and Josh Allen. I see him this, and this is also my reasoning with him. ... I feel like Josh Allen's trajectory is gone that way.

The Cowboys will make the Super Bowl out of the NFC

On the NFC side, oh man, I think I'm going to go... I'll go to the Dallas Cowboys, put them in a Super Bowl. I'll go on Twitter and whoever reads this is going to kill me.

Mike McCarthy is extra dumb because he is also overweight

I'm just going to say that's what Big Cat's thinking. We all think it, Mike McCarthy is a dumb-dumb. And it's also just a fact as a bigger guy myself, like when you're overweight and you're dumb, you're extra dumb. Like, it just there's something about it where it's just like, well, he's really dumb.

I wouldn't give up watching football even to double my net worth

[Speaker 4]: Would you double your net worth if it meant that you were no longer allowed to watch NFL football? [Wahlberg]: No, I don't think so. I don't think it distracts me or it takes away from what I'm doing in my primary business on my job.

Hard Knocks episode three is when you realize you're just ready for real football

That feeling of Hard Knocks episode one is one of the best feelings in the calendar because you're like, we want football. And then you get to episode three and you're like, okay, I wanna play real games.

Saquon Barkley's 'kill mindset' quote will be used against him as soon as he has a bad game

My cool throne is the Giants fantasy people that are gonna draft Saquon Barkley. He said, it's kill mindset now. It's like, fuck everybody. I'm sure that won't be like a quote that gets turned around when it's like that quote and then him going like, 14 rushes for 60 yards.

Desmond Ridder 'is him' and is already NFL ready

My hot seat is Marcus Mariota... I watched the Jets Falcons game last night. I think Desmond Ridder is that guy. I think he is him... I think I'm ready to say based off watching him one time in the preseason that this is gonna be a guy that I will believe in for the next four years.

The Falcons do not have their quarterback of the future on their current roster

I think the Falcons don't have their quarterback of the future on the roster right now.

Geno Smith should be a first-half specialist and Drew Lock should be the closer

Geno Smith, I think plays pretty well based on recent experiences in like the first half. And then Drew Lock is good in garbage time. So I think they should put Geno Smith in, in the first half as the first half specialist. Drew Lock comes in as the closer.