Takes

The NFL return of Kyle Long is a bad look for the Chicago Bears

Kyle Long will be returning to the NFL. Not to the Bears. But that's why they're on the hot seat, because he doesn't want to go back to them. I don't think it's a good or bad look. I think it's just the Bears.

The Washington Football Team paid for Twitter bots to praise Dan Snyder

I started to notice that over the last two days, there were a shitload of accounts that had been created in October of 2020 that were all tweeting things about Dan Snyder. It'll shock you to find out that there are more than likely hundreds of bots that were all created around the same time to just heap praise on Dan Snyder. Dan Snyder, essentially, somebody in the Redskins organization paid for a shitload of Twitter bots to just do nothing all day but tweet praise for Dan Snyder.

Big Ben Roethlisberger taking a pay cut is the ultimate 'hero ball' move.

This might be my favorite Big Ben move ever because he took a pay cut... But he signed a big money contract knowing he was going to get paid like $40 million when he was very old and at the end of his career. And now he's hero ball, going to take a pay cut on the contract that he signed to get paid a ton of money when he was really old. This is the greatest thing that Big Ben has ever done.

Steelers fans should not be excited about Big Ben Roethlisberger returning for another year.

If I was a Steelers fan, I would not be super thrilled about another year of Big Ben.

The NFL salary cap doesn't actually matter.

Basically, [the salary cap] doesn't matter... teams will go from under $20 million over the cap to magically, oh, they have a bunch of cap space.

Trevor Lawrence is just a 6'6" version of Tate Martell who has kept a 'mirage' going.

My take about Trevor Lawrence is that he is basically Tate Martell. But since he's taller, because Tate Martell undefeated in high school, greatest quarterback recruit ever, the only difference is Trevor Lawrence is 6'6", not 5'11", and he's been able to keep the mirage up.

Mac Jones has the most promise of any quarterback in the 2021 draft class.

I think Mac Jones actually has the biggest promise out of all of them because he's not going to go to one of the top draft pick teams... He's going to go to a team that has a pretty good established team but needs a quarterback.

JJ Watt signed with the Cardinals because they offered the most guaranteed money

J.J. Watt is signing with the Cardinals. I just assume it's the most money... it's the most guaranteed money. I know Kyler Murray and all this stuff. I think it's the most guaranteed money and he probably just didn't want to play in the cold.

The Cardinals won't be good because Kliff Kingsbury is still their coach

I just, yeah, I, their defense might be better. They still have Kliff Kingsbury as their coach so I don't believe in them.

The NFL will eventually expand to an 18-game schedule

My hot seat is the 16-game schedule for the NFL because it looks like we're going to 17. And my cool throw will be the 18-game schedule because as soon as we go to 17, we're going to go to 18. It's the greatest, like, sleight of hand that the NFL is doing here.

I can still throw the ball 40 yards but would regret being hit

In a real life football game, you don't throw it 80 yards. You throw it, you know, two, three yards, five, 10, 15, maybe an occasional 40. But I can do that. I just – they can't promise me they're not going to hit me... I'm 51 years old... so going back to play, I could do it. But I think the repercussions would be – I would regret it certainly.

NFL players shouldn't be able to demand trades over personnel decisions

But I don't think a player should be able to demand who they want interviewed or what players they want to pick up or let go. I mean, that crosses the line... I just don't think that it's right for a player to be upset and demand a trade because they didn't interview someone he wanted to interview.

There's an outside chance Russell Wilson gets traded to the Bears

As we speak, I think there's an outside chance that Russell Wilson could go there [Chicago]. That would be a huge pickup... That would change the dynamics big time.

JJ Watt should sign with Cleveland or Buffalo to achieve legendary status

Cleveland does, you know, we discussed it when he became a free agent. Like, that is the... franchise you can go to that will embrace him... If you're the final piece to bring a Super Bowl to [Cleveland or Buffalo], it's a totally different level than signing with the Titans or with the Packers.

The Seahawks should keep Russell Wilson and fire Pete Carroll if forced to choose

I would rather keep Russell Wilson than Pete Carroll if I was in charge of the Seahawks. If Russell Wilson went to the Seahawks' ownership and was like, hey, it's me or Pete, they would absolutely fire Pete in a second.

NFL quarterbacks are beginning to dictate their trade destinations like NBA stars

The quarterbacks in the NFL, like we're starting to see similar to, you know, all stars or top 10 guys in the NBA being able to, especially essentially dictate where they go, even while under contract that's now happening with quarterbacks in the NFL. And we're kind of just getting to that point where people are starting to realize it because think about it. This really hasn't... you have Russell Wilson and Deshaun Watson, two guys who are franchise quarterbacks who are... essentially saying, get me out of here.

Russell Wilson included the Bears on his trade list just to drive up his trade value for other teams

I think that he threw the Bears in there as kind of throwing a bone for the Seahawks because he knows that if the Bears are in the discussion, his trade value goes up. And so that means that other teams would be able to give a little bit more money.

I will become the most religious, corny person in the world if Russell Wilson becomes a Bear

If Russell Wilson somehow, someway becomes a bear, I will buy into... I might just become the most religious person in the world. Just become unlimited. Yeah, just praise Jesus every single day. I will tweet about the corniest sayings, everything. I'll be a Mr. Unlimited.

Deshaun Watson should retire because the Texans are a franchise that can drive a player to that

I would love to see a player just be like, I truly hate them so much. I will retire. If any franchise is able to do that to a person, it would be the Houston Texans.

If Jeff Bezos bids $7 billion for the Washington Football Team, the other NFL owners will force Dan Snyder out

If Jeff Bezos, who is the richest man in the world, wants to pay like six, seven billion dollars for an NFL franchise, if Dan Snyder doesn't want to sell still at that point, you're going to see all the owners... try their very best to push Dan Snyder out because that will make all of their franchises increase by like another billion dollars.

An NFL quarterback should always be a team captain

I'd prefer you to be a captain. It's so hard to be a quarterback and not be a captain. Yes, yes. There's something. The Bo Callahan joke and Draft Day joke actually becomes real when you have a college quarterback who's a first-round talent and not a captain.

The viral video of Cam Newton getting heckled was a PR setup

I'm woke on this Cam Newton clip... It almost feels like that was kind of set up to remind everyone how awesome Cam Newton was. We'll put out a video of Cam getting disrespected so that people are forced to recall how great he is at football. Because you're right. This is the most sympathetic press Cam Newton's got in the last year.

Cam Newton isn't fully healthy because he didn't swing on the heckling kid

That's actually what's telling me that Cam Newton isn't healthy. Because if he was, he should have just swung on the kid. Where somebody's being that disrespectful... Cam, you should be able to defend yourself.

The Eagles are the biggest losers of the Carson Wentz trade

The biggest losers being the Philadelphia Eagles, I would say. I would frame it in the context of the Eagles traded for him to draft him. Then they gave him a ton of money. Then they also gave him a ton of money and $33 million against the cap, and their franchise quarterback that they thought they had traded for and everything was hunky-dory is now gone.

Carson Wentz can find his old self with Frank Reich in Indianapolis

The reclamation of Carson Wentz, like Frank Reich was where he had his success earlier in his career. I do think that he can—I'm not throwing him out. I'm not saying that he can't find old Carson Wentz. And the best place for him to do that is the Indianapolis Colts.

The Raiders are the biggest losers of the Wentz trade because they wouldn't part with Derek Carr

I'd say that the losers of this trade would be the Raiders. The Raiders lost this trade because the Colts tried to get Derek Carr first, and the Raiders were like, no, we're not going to part with Derek Carr. That's a loss for the Raiders right there.

The Eagles will likely draft Jamar Chase and Wentz will be furious

What's also going to be funny is the Eagles, if they don't draft a quarterback in the first round, they're probably going to take a wide receiver. They're probably going to take Jamar Chase. And Carson Wentz is going to be like, what the fuck? When I was there, the best guy that we got was Ortega Whiteside.

The Steelers don't want Big Ben around next year

Then we also had the Big Ben news where kind of ominous saying that Big Ben is on the roster and a stealer today. It doesn't feel like they want Big Ben around next year.

Zach Wilson's mechanics are Mahomes-esque

It's just the way [Zach Wilson] uses his base in separation to his upper body when he throws. It's very Mahomes-esque and very baseball-esque.

Tom Brady text the entire team every morning at 5:30 AM before the Super Bowl saying we will win

He was just telling us, we will win this game. You know, our hard work we're doing throughout the week, you know, he made sure that, you know, just like we all did. It'd be 5:30 of the morning before. I guess he's the first person up. You know, he leads by example.

I want to stay with the Buccaneers if we can keep the team together

I would love to rejoin, you know, but things happen. If it doesn't work out, it happens. So just stay and pray it up and I'm going to let my agents and them deal with that. I think this team, we could do something special if we stay together again.

Kyle Trask is Kirk Cousins with Tom Brady upside

I'm working on Kyle Trask right now... I'm thinking Kirk Cousins... That's a mid-level. Tom Brady upside.

Marcus Mariota would be a perfect trade target for the Pittsburgh Steelers

I feel like Marcus Mariota is the guy that nobody's talking about out there... Here's what I would do, though, if I were the Pittsburgh Steelers. I would trade for Marcus Mariota to sit behind Ben for one year.

The Bears are not Super Bowl contenders even if they trade for Carson Wentz

Something's afoot, and I would like to stem the tide. I don't think I can, but it feels like something's afoot here because the Bears are not a Super Bowl contender with Carson Wentz, especially not with giving up a first-round pick for him.

LeBron James could absolutely make an NFL roster

LeBron because he would have been the best two-sport athlete of all time making a NFL roster. I actually believe him. I don't know why anyone would say, oh, LeBron couldn't make an NFL team. No, he absolutely could. Without a doubt.

JJ Watt will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on thank-you ads for Houston

I think that there's probably at least like $300,000 or $400,000 that [JJ Watt] has earmarked right now to take out full-page thank you ads to the entire city of Houston. He's probably going to be buying billboards all over Texas, thanking them for his time there.

JJ Watt has more ties to potential teams than any free agent in NFL history

I would contend that JJ Watt being a free agent, he has the most ties to the most teams, strong ties to the most teams that a free agent has ever had.

Ryan Pace and the Bears will offer JJ Watt the most money on the market

Ryan Pace is going to offer him somewhere between $150 and $200 million... [Watt's] never going to be that JJ Watt anymore. So that's the perfect time for Ryan Pace to be like, yo, I'm going to give you $50 million just so I can tell people that we have Khalil Mack and JJ Watt on the same line.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are the most likely destination for JJ Watt

The list for me starts and ends with the Pittsburgh Steelers just because I know JJ Watt, and he's going to want to go play with his brothers and have them rub that in our faces... That is the quintessential JJ Watt destination.

If Urban Meyer doesn't draft Trevor Lawrence at #1, someone will trade to #2 and take him immediately

If Urban Meyer does not draft Trevor Lawrence, then someone's going to trade up to number two, and then they'll take him there.

Trevor Lawrence gives off Paxton Lynch vibes and could be a bust

Trevor Lawrence kind of gives me Paxton Lynch vibes... Your best case scenario with Trevor Lawrence is Tom Brady. Your worst case scenario is Paxton Lynch... His throwing motion reminds me a lot of Paxton Lynch's... they kind of like are built the same.

Trevor Lawrence will not bring 'electricity' to an NFL offense by himself

I don't see him just like bringing electricity to an offense. like making plays with his feet, like even when he has no blocking, you know, I just, I'm a little skeptical... the thing is he needs a supporting cast to be good.

Trevor Lawrence's long hair is a 'look at me' move

I do also think that the long hair makes you look a little bit shorter... The long hair is also like a look at me move. And I don't get – Big time. It's a big look at me move.

I am growing my long hair back

First off, the hair is coming back... But I needed to cut it. It was getting long, and we were kind of in a losing skid, and I felt like changing it up could have helped me. And it did... It'll come back.

I can bench press and out-squat DK Metcalf

[DK Metcalf] was saying that he could bench press more than you... [Donald:] Yes... He's a wide receiver. I'm a defensive lineman. So we live different... [PFT: Squatting?] We live different.

Tom Brady putting on a knee brace before getting drunk is genius thinking.

I love the knee brace. I love Tom Brady, like an offensive lineman wearing a preemptive knee brace during a football game. He goes out and gets drunk and he puts a knee brace on before he does it. That's thinking ahead. That's the difference between him and all the other quarterbacks.

Russell Wilson has completely lost touch with reality.

I'm going to take back everything I said about Russell Wilson. He's no longer corny. This is just who he is. And I think he just doesn't have any sense of reality. So it's not even worth being like, 'hey, man, come back to reality.' He's gone. He's long gone.

Russell Wilson is the J.J. Watt of 'corny' cliches taken to the extreme.

Russell Wilson is J.J. Watt to a millionth degree... J.J. Watt is a normal person when you break it down... J.J. Watt is just very nice. Russell Wilson is nice and he thinks he's solving the world's problems. And he also think he was like, I think he probably thinks he's a prophet.

Urban Meyer will be successful in the NFL because he only cares about winning.

I now am fully changing my take on Urban Meyer. I think he's going to be very successful in Jacksonville because Urban Meyer hiring Chris Doyle and being like, 'fuck you world.' It clearly is Urban's show. He hired a dude who was fired like six months ago for very racist things in Iowa... that to me says that Urban is going to just... win football. This hire right here tells me that he has carte blanche with who he wants to hire, who he wants to bring in to just win football.

Urban Meyer’s 'college warlord' style will fail with NFL millionaires.

The person that he's bringing in [Chris Doyle], it might've been effective when talking to student athletes in college. When you're talking to millionaires in the NFL, it might not fly the same way... I can also see like a first-time NFL coach that's a big shot used to not having anybody check him ever... coming to the NFL and realizing pretty quickly, 'wow, I can't tell everybody how to do everything all the time.'