Takes

The Dallas Cowboys are dead

The Dallas Cowboys are dead. D-E-A-D dead. Mike McCarthy... six weeks into the season and there's already a mutiny. He looks like he's given up. [The Cowboys] are ridiculously bad.

Every team in the NFC East should try to get Ryan Fitzpatrick

Any one of these... anyone in the NFC East should try to get Ryan Fitzpatrick. The reason is pretty simple. You can maybe win the division at 6-10. Seven and nine, you're a lock. And all you need to do is like hope that the Fitzmagic times up perfectly at the start of the playoffs.

Josh Allen is no longer an MVP candidate

Josh Allen... he played bad. The Bills looked they have not looked great in the last two weeks. You know, he was not going to be the MVP now. He had a great start to the year. He's probably not gonna be the MVP now. I think that's fair to say.

Clemson could beat the Jets if the Jets had mono

Do you think that Clemson could beat the Jets if they all had mono? Yeah, I agree. [If] Trevor Lawrence has mono and just straight up against Alabama... If Clemson like kills both all the quarterbacks that are listed for the game then they have a chance.

The Colts would be better with Ryan Fitzpatrick than Philip Rivers

I have a take that's going to hurt my own myself, but I think the Colts would be better with Ryan Fitzpatrick. That would be wild wouldn't it? That would be wild now we're now that you said it it kind of makes sense.

Ezekiel Elliott is officially fat

Ezekiel Elliott. Is he fat? I think Ezekiel might be fat now. Well, yeah when he starts mumbling he is. And also the nose ring's gotta go when you fumble you gotta take it out.

The 49ers are officially back

Niners are officially back. Also George Kittle is a hundred percent back because I don't know how he got that open, but he he deserves a couple easy ones... Niners are officially back a hundred percent back.

I am still buying the Eagles to win the NFC East

I have actually two takeaways from this game. And the first one is I'm still buying the Eagles. Yeah, so I think that there are they could have beaten the Ravens today... the NFC East is terrible Dak Prescott got hurt and the next four games for the Eagles are giants Cowboys Giants Browns. Mmm. I think they're going to go at least three in one and we're going to be sitting here being like watch out for the Eagles.

Lamar Jackson can't come from behind when trailing

Lamar, he's not really that great playing with a small lead either... we talked about him not being able to come from behind at all. Even if you're up by like two scores. He's just he's limited some time.

Ryan Tannehill's success is officially not a fluke

Ryan Tannehill good is we made all the jokes in the world, but the Step has been taken and it is fully been taken. This is not a statistical anomaly anymore because last year the end of the year, we're like, oh he's doing it. But he's just playing out of his head. We're now six weeks into the 2020 season... He's good.

There is a zero percent chance the Patriots miss the playoffs

What do you think that the chances are that the Patriots miss the playoffs entirely is here? Zero. Zero percent chance here.

There are too many quarterbacks in the NFL right now

There are too many quarterbacks in the NFL right now. Yes, there aren't enough teams that have like a dire dire situation... We've got kind of a log Jam and come through... There's like I don't know maybe five teams where it's like, you know for a fact they're gonna be okay want a quarterback.

The Bears will be underdogs every week and I will keep betting on them

The Bears are 5-1. I don't give a fuck how they're winning. They're going to be underdogs every single game. I'm going to keep betting on them... the defense is back... I know that deep down the Bears are destined for a 10 and 6 11 and 5 record and then to lose in a heartbreaking way in the first round and everyone to shit down my throat.

Adam Gase's ability to stay employed is commendable

I actually am going to zag on everyone and say like I I applaud Adam gase for getting this far in life. Yeah, it's incredible what he has done... It is a great lesson for everyone out there get yourself next to someone great and have everyone else think that you had something to do with it. And you're set for life.

The Packers struggle when they step up in class against physical teams

This is the same issue the Packers had last year they step up in class. They step up against a physical team and they don't look like the same, you know team that was started this season 5 and over... but the Bucks played physical they Blitz they fucking play great defense. Aaron Rodgers look lost.

Trevor Lawrence will pull an Eli Manning and refuse to play for the Jets

I feel like Trevor Lawrence is going to pull a Elway in an Eli. Mmm-hmm and say I'm not doing that... It's something wrong with the organization. You can't have it. It's not too many. That's too many consecutive quarterbacks in the in a system that's bad. That's just bad... Ain't No Way in the world he's going to pull it. He like.

Peyton Manning is definitely using HGH

Billy football spotted that he's got the Omaha Beach... Omaha Beach nipples... possible HGH. ... He's obviously taking always multiple nipples like a pig. ... Definitely juicing, definitely realizing I feel like a lot of retired guys just start juicing because they could never do it during their career.

Andy Dalton is a better quarterback than Dak Prescott because his limitations force the team to play better

I'm going to let's just take it one step further and say that Andy Dalton is a better quarterback than Dak Prescott. ... he's better because he's worse. So the team has to play more cohesively and I have to scheme for Andy Dalton. I can't just coast on Dak's talent anymore.

The winner of the Bears vs. Panthers game will make the playoffs

Whoever wins this game, I would say will be in the playoffs. ... if the Bears win this game, they go to 5 and 1. ... It's got to be like 92% of teams that start 5-1 make the playoffs.

Derrick Henry is not a good short-yardage running back because his legs are too long

I agree with at the start of that game when they started feeding Derrick Henry the ball. [Billy] said Derrick Henry actually sneaky not a great short yardage running back. ... Legs are too long. ... Big guys just they can swallow them up.

The Rams -3 line against the 49ers is a 'rat line' and the 49ers will cover

This is my stinky stinky game of the week because the line makes no sense. ... I saw Rams -3 and I was like, 'Oh my god, that's the easiest [bet] of all time.' ... It's a rat line. ... I'm going to take the 49ers.

Football field goals go farther at night when it's cold

Kicking sucked at the start of the year. I didn't feel it. Now I'm starting to feel it. The weather's getting a little bit colder. I do think that that has something to do with the ball going farther at night. So I do like over three-and-a-half field goals in the Sunday night game.

It is not sustainable for the Jets to keep Adam Gase through their bye week

The next four opponents... Bills, Patriots, Chiefs... it feels like it's moving in the direction where it's not sustainable for the Jets to continue with Adam Gase, even if ownership really wants to... I think it's moving in the direction where it's not sustainable.

If Drew Brees gets injured, Taysom Hill would be the Saints' starting quarterback over Jameis Winston

If he gets injured, my gut feeling is it would be Taysom Hill over Jameis Winston who would play. ... I've got the impression this year if Brees would get hurt, it would be Taysom Hill playing quarterback.

Kyle Shanahan will look for a new quarterback like Kirk Cousins to replace Jimmy Garoppolo after the season

I think the bigger question here is after the season. What do they do? ... I think that Kyle Shanahan is going to look for somebody else after the season. ... it wouldn't surprise me at all if the Vikings decide, 'You know what, we've had enough with this guy' and Shanahan embraces [Kirk] Cousins.

NFL teams absolutely tank, they just do it by playing worse players

Hell yes, there's tanking in football. It's just subtle. The players on the field aren't trying to lose, but someone high up in the organization makes sure the worst players are on the field. 'We want to evaluate the backup quarterback... and if they play like crap, good.'

DK Metcalf is like Calvin Johnson and Jerry Rice combined

DK Metcalf? Buy. I mean, the guy's Calvin Johnson and Jerry Rice combined and he's starting to become fully aware of what he can do.

Josh Norman should retire immediately after that Derrick Henry stiff arm

Josh Norman should retire like soon after that. Derrick Henry stiff arms are hilarious... he does like The Kill Bill the Five Finger Death Punch on you like Taps who with his fingertips and then your heart stops immediately and you go limp you go flying.

The Chargers are just the Seahawks but they lose at the end

The Chargers are the Seahawks. They just lose at the end. They are the JV low-rent version of what the Seahawks do—they play weird games, are always in it till the end, but they are just always on the losing end of those really weird strange fourth quarters. They invent ways to lose.

Drew Brees is officially washed

I am sticking with my Drew Brees has washed. What I'm saying is they have a Super Bowl roster and Drew Brees is probably going to be the thing that holds them back when they get in a playoff game against the pass rush... he's no longer at that level.

I will tattoo Drew Brees' career touchdown total on my arm if the Saints make the Super Bowl

If The New Orleans Saints get to the Super Bowl. I will tattoo the final number of Drew Brees touchdowns for his career somewhere in my arm.

Justin Herbert passes the 'eyeball test' as a professional rookie

[Justin Herbert] passed my eyeball test right off the bat... he was a Pro's Pro. He was a precocious rookie. I like the Justin Herbert that I saw in the first few games. I don't want him to lose that edge.

Le'Veon Bell will sign with the Patriots

In which case I think we can all agree. He's probably going to go to the Patriots because that's what always happens.

Mike Zimmer made the correct decision to go for it on fourth down against the Seahawks

We 100% agreed together we watch the game and we said Mike Zimmer. This is a good move. Essentially we didn't even do it in a mass way. We said what do the Seahawks want the Vikings to do they? They want to kick they want the Vikings kick a field goal because they haven't stopped shit all night.

The Seahawks defense is so bad that they cannot go deep in the playoffs

Russell Wilson is incredible and maybe when Jamal Adams is out there the Seahawks will look better. But from what I saw. I saw from the Seahawks and watching them. You know, I think we've watched every single one of their games and that defense doesn't get fixed. They can't they can't win a plate like they can't go deep in the playoffs.

The Vikings are the 'best worst team' in the NFL

The Vikings are fraudulently bad... They're the best worst team in the league right now. It would not surprise me if the Vikings beat any team in the league.

The Raiders' victory over the Chiefs was a blueprint game for the rest of the NFL

The first thing that came to my mind when the Raiders beat the Chiefs I said to myself blueprint game... The Raiders got the blueprint from the Patriots and then executed the blueprint and now everyone else has the blueprint which is essentially have the best offensive line in the game run the ball really well make a few big plays.

Defenders are hesitant to hit Patrick Mahomes hard because he is so well-liked

I have a take that I'm working on. It's not ready yet. But essentially if people want to help me with this trying to find some film I think Defenders are not hitting Mahomes as hard as they possibly can because no one wants to be the guy that hurts Mahomes. It feels like when he starts running there are times in a game where he'll scramble. And he'll like they'll almost all agree to give up the play at the same time.

The Eagles are going to win the NFC East

If you're an Eagles fan sitting here on Sunday night after week 5, you're you're winning this division. I really do think you're sitting there saying we're in a good spot.

Jimmy Garoppolo is worth exactly one point more than Nick Mullens or CJ Beathard

I really don't see the difference between Jimmy Garoppolo and Nick Mullens and CJ Beathard... How many points do you think Jimmy Garoppolo's worth like a starting healthy Jimmy Garoppolo? I'll Point. Yeah, probably a point. Yeah, they're essentially the same quarterback.

The Dolphins might make the playoffs with Ryan Fitzpatrick

Imagine if the Dolphins make the playoffs that's just the dolphins with Fitzpatrick make the playoffs. We could only be so lucky... I could see nine and seven might not get them in the AFC so tough.

I like Nick Foles and think the Bears will have a great effort against the Buccaneers

I like Nick Foles in this. There's not a lot to like, it's Tom Brady and Nick Foles. I've seen this movie before... I feel like the Bears are going to have a great effort tonight.

Something weird will happen with the kickers in the Bears vs. Buccaneers game

Something weird is going to happen tonight. It's gonna be weird kicker night... I'm thinking Cairo Santos might do something good. I'm thinking... suck up [Ryan Succop] is going to do something weird. Whether it's missing three field goals, maybe missing an extra point.

Tom Brady will make a mental blunder that costs the Buccaneers the game

It's going to come down to whether Brady's been aging, whether we see Brady's age physically and kind of mentally... maybe he gets slower as you age... so to recap Billy, you think the Tom Brady is going to make a mental blunder that's going to cost them the game.

I love the Panthers to beat the Falcons

Panthers-Falcons, start there. Falcons, this could be the end for Dan Quinn. I have said many times I'm going to respect Teddy Bridgewater more and that's why I love the Panthers in this game.

The Eagles will win the NFC East with a losing record like 3-5-1

The Eagles win the NFC East at like 3-5-1. The Eagles, they should have stopped playing right now. Yes, 1-2-1 is good enough to get you top of the NFC East this season.

The Eagles are better than their record indicates and will improve when healthy

A team I think that's easy to say is better than what the record is is the Philadelphia Eagles because of how injuries have derailed them and the performance of Carson Wentz thus far... when they get their offensive lineman back healthy... I think they're a team that's definitely better than what the record is.

The Tennessee Titans are not as good as their 3-0 record suggests

A team that's worse than what their record is... it's the Tennessee Titans. This is not a team that is undefeated three and oh in the NFL. They're a team that barely was able to come back and beat the Denver Broncos, beat the Minnesota Vikings... I don't think that this team is as good as what their record indicates right now.

Dwayne Haskins was benched because he wasn't responding to coaching, not just performance

The bigger issue for Dwayne Haskins is simply was he responding to the coaching... it's about doing what the coaches are asking you to do and having some accountability... I'm hearing Dwayne Haskins was not able to respond to the coaching... at some point they're like, I don't know if this guy's ever going to 'get it'.

Dan Quinn will win enough games to save his job and finish 8-8

I think Dan Quinn might rattle off enough wins to get to 8 and 8 and keep this goddamn job... the next five games that you just mentioned right there, they seem all winnable.