If Alabama loses to Georgia without Nick Saban on the sideline, it shouldn't count as a loss

If Alabama loses does it count? Is it a Coach K thing? Does Nick Saban not get this on his record? ... I unironically think yes. I think Nick Saban will get in front of the press and say exactly that. Be like, 'Hey, guess what? That wasn't my team. That was Steve Sarkisian's team.'

Nick Saban is worth seven points to the betting line in an Alabama game

I do kind of think that Nick Saban is definitely worth seven points in a game. So if they lose by fewer than seven points, then I would say this does not count as a loss.

Andy Dalton is a better quarterback than Dak Prescott because his limitations force the team to play better

I'm going to let's just take it one step further and say that Andy Dalton is a better quarterback than Dak Prescott. ... he's better because he's worse. So the team has to play more cohesively and I have to scheme for Andy Dalton. I can't just coast on Dak's talent anymore.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.