PMT DB
PMT DB
Matthew McConaughey on Greenlights, NFL Power Rankings, and the Cowboys' Mutiny
The Dallas Cowboys are officially in the abyss. Following a pathetic Monday Night Football performance, Big Cat and PFT waste no time burying the remains of a team that has clearly quit on Mike McCarthy just six weeks into his tenure. Between the fumbles and the lack of effort, Big Cat is ready to call the time of death on the 2020 season for America's Team.
Big CatThe Dallas Cowboys are dead
The Dallas Cowboys are dead. D-E-A-D dead. Mike McCarthy... six weeks into the season and there's already a mutiny. He looks like he's given up. [The Cowboys] are ridiculously bad.
The quarterback situation is so dire that Big Cat is actually longing for the days of a stationary Dak Prescott over what Andy Dalton is providing. Watching the Red Rifle navigate a collapsing offensive line has been a special kind of torture for everyone involved except for NFC East rivals.
Big CatDak Prescott sitting Indian style in the shotgun would be a better quarterback than Andy Dalton
Dak Prescott not moving would be better than Andy Dalton. ... [Or] Dak sitting down Indian style, like he's got a cramp, in the shotgun formation just on his ass. I think that Dak Prescott not moving would be better than Andy [Dalton].
With the Cowboys and the rest of the division in a state of constant failure, PFT has the only logical solution: a Ryan Fitzpatrick auction. In a world where 6-10 might actually secure a home playoff game, the Fitzmagic experience is the only thing that makes sense for the chaos of the NFC East.
PFT CommenterEvery team in the NFC East should try to get Ryan Fitzpatrick
Any one of these... anyone in the NFC East should try to get Ryan Fitzpatrick. The reason is pretty simple. You can maybe win the division at 6-10. Seven and nine, you're a lock. And all you need to do is like hope that the Fitzmagic times up perfectly at the start of the playoffs.
NFL Power Rankings and the "Yeah Buts"
Moving into the league-wide picture, Big Cat breaks down the Power Rankings with a specific category for teams that seem good but have glaring flaws: the "Yeah Buts." While the Bills and Josh Allen had a hot start, a couple of rough weeks have the guys recalibrating their expectations for the MVP race.
Big CatJosh Allen is no longer an MVP candidate
Josh Allen... he played bad. The Bills looked they have not looked great in the last two weeks. You know, he was not going to be the MVP now. He had a great start to the year. He's probably not gonna be the MVP now. I think that's fair to say.
When you look at the top of the mountain, there is only one team that stands alone without a caveat. Big Cat is planting his flag with the defending champs, noting that the only thing capable of stopping Patrick Mahomes right now is the Chiefs themselves.
Big CatThe Chiefs are the only true Super Bowl contenders in the NFL right now
Contenders: I only have the Chiefs. I only have the Chiefs because I only feel like really, really confident that the Chiefs... I don't see a 'but' with the Chiefs, especially when they just decided they were going to run the ball better than any team has ever run the ball against the Bills.
Matthew McConaughey: The Minister of Culture
The legendary Matthew McConaughey joins the show for an incredible interview about his new memoir, *Greenlights*. The guys cover everything from his 35 years of journaling to the time he shared a cage with a mountain lion while under the influence of peyote in Mexico. McConaughey’s philosophy on life boils down to the work you do when nobody is watching so that you can be yourself when the lights are on.
Matthew McConaugheyYou have to out-prepare everyone so that you have the freedom to be yourself in the moment
That moment is when I said, okay, bullshit, from now I'm gonna over-prepare. I'm going to out-prepare people. ... You gotta prepare to be free. You gotta do the early work so you can play on the day. ... Be conservative early so that you can be liberal later.
McConaughey also touches on his personal style and what it actually means to be "cool." He has a very specific disdain for dorks—those people who try too hard to please everyone—noting that he'd much rather deal with an honest asshole than someone who can't be trusted because they're trying to be everything to everyone.
Matthew McConaugheyDorks try to be everything to everybody, and you can't trust them
Being cool [is] being yourself and being cool with yourself and just not trying to be everything to everybody. ... I got no problem with nerds. I just don't like dorks. [A dork] tries to be everything to everybody, you can't really trust him. ... Give me an asshole before you give me a dork.
He even shares a cautionary tale from his younger days about the time he thought a red sports car would do the heavy lifting for his social life. It turns out that leaning against a Nissan 300ZX in the parking lot is the fastest way to lose your "cool" card and end up in dork territory.
Matthew McConaugheyRelying on a cool car to make you cool actually makes you a dork
I traded [my truck] in for that red 300ZX with T-tops. How cool am I? I became a dork. I was relying on my car... letting my car do the work for me. ... I realized, dude, you out-foxed yourself. This fucking red sports car is just blue-balling you. So I went down and traded it back in for my truck.
Before letting him go, they talk gambling. McConaughey reveals that he isn't a spreadsheet guy; he's an intangibles guy. Whether it's a team dealing with jet lag or a player coming off a personal tragedy, those are the storylines that get him to place a bet.
Matthew McConaugheyThe best way to bet is on intangibles like jet lag and personal tragedies
I love the intangibles. ... I like the fun when I think and believe that Miami's gonna be jet-lagged against San Fran and they come out slow... or Brett Favre's dad just passed away. Oh, he's playing for more than the game. He's going to be unconscious tonight. Boom. Well, you know, I love going with that.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne and Guys on Chicks
Hot Seat/Cool Throne features some vintage PMT discussion regarding Jeffrey Toobin’s very public Zoom mishap. Big Cat offers some sage advice for anyone working from home who might be feeling a bit too comfortable during their meetings.
Big CatYou should never jack off at a computer, ever
I think just a good rule of thumb is never jack off at a computer. Ever, ever, ever, ever. Just use your imagination or just put it to the side. ... No one's ever been busted jacking off to a Penthouse. Put it slightly to the side and you'll be set.
Finally, the show wraps up with Guys on Chicks, featuring a woman asking if her boyfriend should switch from being a Washington fan to a Ravens fan. PFT, a lifelong sufferer of the Washington franchise, warns that the grass isn't always greener when you have to adopt the entire Baltimore lifestyle.
PFT CommenterSwitching to being a Ravens fan is a heavy lifestyle commitment involving purple cargo shorts and defending Ray Lewis
Switching to becoming a Ravens fan... is a much heavier commitment. ... [You wear] purple gray and black camo cargo shorts like six days [a week]... and just smelling like crab chips all day and mispronouncing your L's. ... Then you have to have all these counter-arguments ready for when people bring up Ray Lewis or Ray Rice. It just becomes exhausting.
If your boyfriend is out of shape but claims he has "functional athleticism," just remember that muscle-bound guys are usually the first ones to clank a jumper off the backboard anyway.
Just keep livin'.
