Takes

Antonio Brown is a quitter and only worth a third-round pick

What would I give up for him? The third round pick. That's it? No more. I tend to agree with you. He quit. He quit. He's a quitter. Let me say it again. He's a quitter. If I'm on his team and the Steelers players weren't happy about it, he quit on them.

Eli Manning didn't play as poorly in 2018 as the media portrays

Eli didn't play that bad last year. He did not. He did not. Dude, sir. The team stopped. His line was awful. I said he didn't play as poorly as you guys are portraying.

Robert Kraft's punishment for the solicitation sting should be jerking off every other NFL owner

As much as I would like to see the Patriots get their entire draft this year and next taken away from them for the actions of the owner, I feel like the punishment should fit the crime, and [Robert Kraft] should have to jerk off every other NFL owner.

Be wary of any new league that promises more football

As much as we love football, we did warn you. We warned you after the first weekend that as much as we love seeing extra football... We've been hurt before. The XFL did not last very long. Whenever someone promises you more football, just be wary.

Antonio Brown will sign a four-year, $79 million guaranteed contract with the Redskins

It's going to be the Redskins. So here's what's going to happen. He's going to join the Redskins. They're going to pay, I'll say, four years, $79 million guaranteed. And he'll play for two, well, one and a half. And then he'll just sit out the rest of the year.

The Rams will beat the Patriots in Super Bowl LIII

I take the Rams over the Patriots. Yes, I do... I am technically copping out because those who make predictions or are forced to, when you make a preseason prediction that actually turns out to be spot on—I now have the cover of saying, well, I predicted it before the season, so I can't give up now.

Antonio Brown exposing Ben Roethlisberger's 'owner mentality' is not news because everyone knows Ben is a dick

Antonio Brown... basically explained his conflict with Ben Roethlisberger, basically saying Ben Roethlisberger has an owner mentality and he can call everybody out... I don't really think Antonio Brown, if you want to go a certain route with this to gain public favor, being like, hey, Ben Roethlisberger's a dick, too, is not really—we all know that.

Colin Kaepernick likely has a clause in his settlement preventing him from ever playing in the NFL again

I gathered this from what Florio said, which was it's very common in these types of settlements to have a clause in there saying that he will never work for that league again. So it might be in his contract that he'll never be an NFL player again. And honestly, I'm kind of okay with that because of how exhausting the takes would be on every single pass that he threw.

John Elway is officially canceled as a GM

John Elway has been canceled. He is obsessed with height. Height is not everything. He has traded for Joe Flacco... John Elway will not hear of anything unless you are a tall, rocket arm quarterback. And guess what? He's been canceled... He cannot find a quarterback.

Paxton Lynch is the most unremarkable first-round quarterback of the last 25 years

Paxton Lynch, I'm going to say it right now, is the most unremarkable first-round quarterback that has ever been drafted in the past 25 years... No one even knows if Paxton Lynch is good or not because he only played four games... a guy that you will soon just forget even existed.

John Elway is the third or fourth best quarterback of all time

He's probably the third best quarterback of all time. Third or fourth.

Joe Flacco is just a product of the Baltimore offensive system

This is the year where we find out if Joe Flacco is good or if he's just a product of that awesome Baltimore offensive system that's been so good throughout the years.

The Rams didn't add a single wrinkle to their offense for the Super Bowl

I couldn't believe that either. They really didn't do not one wrinkle... They got so many good players. They got so many things they've done all year. And the one play they gave us, which was a wrinkle, was the Brandin Cooks screen that hit for a little bit. And that was it.

I am not going to the White House to celebrate the Super Bowl win

No. I might make TMZ for that... People make it more big of a deal like this will probably get blown up.

The Steelers should trade Antonio Brown back to the Steelers for a fresh start

Antonio Brown's a free agent. He wants to leave Pittsburgh... so just trade Antonio Brown to the Steelers. New start. New us.

Kirk Cousins needs to stop tweeting or only tweet about charity

Kirk Cousins has reached a point where he cannot tweet anymore... He is very, very earnest and genuine. He can't tweet. He cannot tweet anymore... The only thing Kirk Cousins should be tweeting is about charity. Go charity route or delete your account.

John Dorsey leaked the Kareem Hunt video to drive down his price for the Browns

The Stay Woke is John Dorsey is the general manager of the Browns. He was the general manager of the Chiefs. He drafted Kareem Hunt. Kareem Hunt's incident happened in a Cleveland hotel. It didn't come out for a long time. John Dorsey's in Cleveland. It comes out. Then John Dorsey gets Kareem Hunt for a million bucks.

Kyler Murray will be a first-round NFL draft pick

Kyler Murray has made the correct decision, and he's going to be an NFL quarterback. A really good one, probably, too. And now we get to debate for the next two months whether he will be a first-rounder, which he will. He will be.

Having a pass batted at the line of scrimmage is better than throwing an interception

I submit that getting your passes batted at the line of scrimmage is better because some of those balls would have turned into interceptions. So Brock Osweiler throws a lot of balls that don't get tipped. And he trips over himself. That's why he throws so many interceptions.

An NFL starting quarterback is the apex predator of the sports world

If you have the choice of being an NFL quarterback or an outfielder, maybe an outfielder for the Oakland A's, it's not really a choice. And it's like you're it's the national brand of being a national hero versus being maybe at your absolute peak... starting quarterbacks in the NFL are the top, they're apex predators in the sports world.

Matthew Stafford will own major passing records and still be considered a bad quarterback

Matthew Stafford is going to be a real problem for the NFL Hall of Fame. when he plays 10 more years and has every record and is the shittiest quarterback of all time. Matthew Stafford was basically the most perfect, terrible quarterback to come along and play as much as he is. If he plays for like 10 more years, he will have every record.

The Jets will sign Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell but still win only six games

This is going to be just the Jets getting Antonio Brown in, Le'Veon Bell, and then still winning six games, right? Yes. Because that's going to be... It's going to be so funny.

The AAF outrating the NBA proves America loves football over everything else

We [the AAF] outrated the NBA game, the primetime NBA game, showing that America loves football over everything else, which we already know and we agree with.

Tom Brady is a prisoner of his own success because of his extreme superstitions

Tom Brady's success is so successful and won so many Super Bowls, how many little things like this do you think he does in a day-to-day basis where he's like, well, it's helped me get to where I'm at? He's basically stuck in the most superstitious life of all time... He's permanently stuck upside down because he keeps winning Super Bowls... He's a prisoner of his own success.

Deshaun Watson is a much better pocket passer than people realize

I think he's a good pocket passer. I think that that's one thing that people, when you think of [Deshaun Watson], you immediately think of a guy that can move around and get away from pressure, but he is good in the pocket.

Roger Goodell has a difficult job and is deserving of respect

I've known Roger for a long time... The job is a job, you know, and he's caught up in a complex tsunami of drama and players and egos and obviously complicated owners... I'm a fan of Rodgers. I don't think he gets everything right all the time, but I think if either of us, three of us had that job, we'd probably be vilified.

I wanted the Patriots to win another Super Bowl now because Tom Brady's window is closing

I would say the Patriots just because Brady's window is closing. So the more he can get in before he retires, the better.

The Houston Texans will never win a Super Bowl

The Texans will never win a Super Bowl.

Super Bowl 48 was a worse game than Super Bowl 53

I would say the worst Super Bowl that I've ever watched is probably the Denver-Seahawks Super Bowl. But that was just because it was a blowout from the very start.

Todd Gurley is definitely injured despite his denials

Todd Gurley was, I think he's hurt. He denies that he's hurt, but I'm pretty sure that he was—there's something wrong with him. He's getting the Steph Curry benefit.

The lower-tier coaches hired from the Sean McVay tree won't be successful

The fifth or sixth guy that gets hired [from the McVay tree] is the fifth or sixth best offensive guy, so he's probably not that good. Exactly.

Vic Fangio is a good hire for the Broncos

I really think that Fangio is a good hire for the Broncos. Oh, yeah, absolutely. We haven't really talked about it that much.

Super Bowl 53 was Bill Belichick's best coaching job ever

I actually think this is probably his best coaching job. Because they're probably not the most talented Super Bowl team he's had, but they ran man basically all year, and then they ran zone in the Super Bowl and just fucked up Sean McVay.

Roger Goodell is the stupidest person in the world for having Dave Portnoy arrested

I'm starting to think that Goodell and this whole crew, he's the stupidest guy in the world... How could he not realize... the fact of the matter is, it's one thing if they were to stop them and they saw him when he got in there, but apparently they were hunting them down during the game.

Marijuana is a better recovery tool for NFL players than opioids or Ambien

I didn't like taking Ambien. I didn't like opioids. I didn't like none of that stuff. The only thing that got me to level out and get some sleep, and because my knees were shot, was [marijuana].

Some great coordinators are simply not meant to be head coaches

There are certain guys who were just assistant coaches... Just because you're good at being a defensive coordinator doesn't mean you can be a head coach... certain guys are meant to be a head coach, certain guys are not.

Jeff Fisher has zero percent chance of getting another NFL head coaching job

[Jeff Fisher?] Nope. No chance. [Zero?] Zero.

I can still kick a 60-yard field goal and play in the NFL on third downs

I think I could play maybe third downs... I'm good from 60 right now still. [The Bears need a kicker] Yes, they do. Come back.

Winning Super Bowl 53 means Rob Gronkowski has three rings because of rounding rules

If Gronk had lost that Super Bowl, he'd still have one Super Bowl ring, but winning that Super Bowl means he has three... if you weigh 250 pounds, you can say, I'm pretty much 300 pounds... everybody would be like, yeah, you definitely look like you weigh 300 pounds.

A long-distance throwing competition between Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes will happen

I talked to Josh. He said that he's in. Slid into those DMs on Pat Mahomes. And he has committed interest to it. He said, yeah, let's do it. We'll have to wait until further in the offseason.

The Rams are impossible to bet against because it is a Wade Phillips 'Dad Game'

Wade Phillips dedicates one game a year to his late father, Bum Phillips. The Rams, or sorry, Wade Phillips' team's defenses, 7-0 in Bum Phillips' dedication games. He is dedicating the Super Bowl to Bum Phillips... I don't know how you can bet against the Rams now. It's a dad game.

The NFL is running a 'long con' with referee John Perry to make the Patriots win

In Rams games, [John Perry is] 7-0. In Patriots Super Bowls, Patriots are 0-1. So is this also an NFL long con where they planted John Perry in 2007 to basically ref for a decade-plus and be really biased towards the Rams so that everyone would be like, oh, the Rams are going to win this because the NFL is corrupt. Oh, switcheroo, the Patriots won.

The Rams would win if both teams played a perfect game because they have more talent

I'm stuck with the same thought over and over. The Rams are the more talented team. But the Patriots, at the end of the day, it's still Brady and Belichick. If they both play perfect games, I think the Rams will win because they have more talent overall.

Todd Gurley will fade in the second half of the Super Bowl due to his knee injury

I think you're going to see one of those situations where Todd Gurley, awesome in the first half, fades in the second because his knee or whatever's going on... I think the adrenaline maybe a couple shots whatever he comes out hot and then when you need him in the fourth quarter it either is C.J. Anderson in his thick ass booty or the rams are in trouble.

The Patriots are going to kill the Rams in the Super Bowl

I think Pat's going to kill him. I know we love Jared on the show. Good friend of the program. But the fact that he is, like, listening to all our episodes... it seems like he's not, like, as focused. McVay is going to get beaten by Belichick in some way, shape, or form at some point during the game.

Official Score Prediction: Rams 24, Patriots 20

My official pick is 24 to 20... Rams 24, Patriots 20.

Picking the Patriots is the 'integrity' pick to avoid gambling embarrassment

The first thing you want to do is obviously pick a winner. The second thing you want to do is make sure you don't get embarrassed. So I guess my official pick would be the Patriots because I feel like when you get to the end of the game, it will be embarrassing if you have the Rams and the Patriots do what they've always done.

I would throw for 6,000 yards and 60 touchdowns in today's NFL

So I'm going to just say I would carve it up. Throw for 6,000, you know, 60 touchdowns and have fun, especially with my guys like Duper and Clayton... and there was no bubble screens. Pass interference was like a different monster back then too.

Tony Romo will be the Cowboys head coach in 2020

I did hear, though, that the Cowboys aren't going to extend [Jason] Garrett. So he's going to be a lame duck next year. You know what that means. Coach Romo. Coach Romo in 2020.

I will announce a 100-day boycott of the NFL after the Super Bowl

I'm going to announce my annual 100-day boycott of the NFL, minus the combine draft.