Takes

It is fair to laugh at the President when they fall because walking is a basic human skill

Walking is one of the first things we learned to do. Someone's like, would you make fun of your grandmother if she fell? I was like, well my grandmother's dead and she's not the president. You kind of sign up to get made fun of by becoming president when you fall.

My career at PMT will eventually become a legendary redemption hero story

I will win one and it'll be a real redemption hero story for the ages. I'm sure people are gonna be writing novels about me.

Once 2020 ends, everything will get back to normal and be perfect

Once 2020 ends, everything's going to get back to normal to be perfect. You think 2020 is going to run up the score on us?

The sun is actually cold and is a big fraud

2017 is the year that we found out that the sun was a big fucking phony. The sun is not hot, and if you want any more proof, space is cold. How come it gets cold at the top of Mount Everest? ... Because there's hot magma underneath the earth as far away from the sun as possible.

The 'Car Stick' is a necessary invention for everyone who drops items between car seats

Simple, simple invention. Everyone needs it. Just a little skinny stick that you can, like, it, like, would go stick up from the side of your car. And when shit gets stuck in between your seats, just grab the stick and it fishes it right out of there.