Takes

I support division winners hosting playoff games even with bad records because the unfairness provides entertainment

I like the fact that the Eagles could win the division at 7-9 and host a playoff game simply because we get to sit here and say, that's not fair. I like that it makes no sense. I like that if you win your division, you get a home playoff game, even if you're a terrible team. It just seems like one of those rules I don't want changed.

Tom Ricketts is lying about the Cubs being too poor to pay their star players

Tom Ricketts, Cubs owner, because he's poor. So he missed the budget for Wrigley expansion by 100%, he said. So just hate it when these guys who have billions of dollars... when time comes to pay their really expensive players what they're worth, don't have the money. Don't buy that bullshit. Like, it's not just you can't sign Chris Bryant.

I do not want the Cubs to trade Kris Bryant despite ownership claims of being over budget

Kris Bryant is the word. And everyone's, you know, what happens is whether they trade Kris Bryant or not, I do not want them to trade Kris Bryant. But what pisses me off more than anything is fans who are like, well, you got to trade Kris Bryant because we have no money. Don't buy that bullshit.

Brandin Cooks is the definition of elite foot speed

I think it's probably Brandin Cooks, a receiver we have out here in L.A., and I actually trained with him for the combine. I thought he was fast then, but he's on a whole other level of fast and the definition of foot speed.

I am faster now than I was when I trained for the NFL Combine

I'd imagine everybody's probably different. I think I'm faster now than I was when I was training for the Combine. But I would say there's probably guys that are the opposite of that.

It is impossible to tank in the NFL

I think it's impossible to tank in the NFL. I really do because it's just a sport that's impossible to think like guys are playing for their next jobs. It's a violent game. It's hard to tell people. Hey go out there and just don't try right?

George Kittle is like an angry bull that is impossible to tackle

Shout out our guy George Kittle. Big-time players make big-time plays. Him getting just ripped to shreds by his face mask and still running down the field. He was like an angry bull unlike the PBR tour... he knows where he has to end up and he's going to fight every guy to get there.

Jameis Winston is the Big Ben heir apparent

I think Jameis Winston Is Our Big Ben Heir Apparent... off sketchy off-field stuff. They have the classic like they're never fully down on the on the field... There's so many plays were Jameis Winston has six guys around him and then he just kind of emerges from it... he is the funniest quarterback of ever want.

The NFL committed a travesty by not scheduling the Raiders' final Oakland game in prime time

The NFL has done us an injustice... The last game in the Black Hole is next Sunday. It should have been flexed. We should have had this on Saturday night. I want my feelings to be said out loud that this is a travesty that we don't get one final night game in Oakland in prime time for the nation to watch.

Joe Burrow's body language and leadership make you want to go to war for him

Joe Burrow is—forget all the on-field how good he is and forget all the measurables—his body language makes me want to go to war for him. It's crazy. I have not seen someone who has like a natural leader ability that just oozes off of him. He has that look where you're like, 'I just like tell me who to fight, I got it.'

Troy Aikman and Joe Buck look like slobs for wearing casual clothes on Thursday Night Football

Are we as a nation going to talk about Troy Aikman's hoodie that he's wearing. I don't like casual Troy. These guys are really taking the job and Joe Buck. We're talking to you too... have some fucking class man like this is disrespectful... he looks like a slob I'll be honest with you.

Week 14 is the 'Just How Good Are They?' weekend for the NFL

I have dubbed this... the 'just how good are they' weekend. Because there's no loser leaves town... I think this weekend week 14 is going to be fascinating because there are some really good games and we're going to walk away on Sunday night being like okay this team ready to roll this team, maybe some questions.

Mike Greenberg is an unapologetic beta

The beauty of Mike Greenberg is that he is an unapologetic beta and that's why I love him so very deeply... he's someone who's like 'I'm a dork'.

Eli Manning is the Forrest Gump of the NFL

Eli Manning is now more than ever the Forrest Gump of the NFL. He just keeps showing up at historical moments.

A wet sock is worse than a broken foot

I will say having a wet foot will ruin your day. Wet foot is worse than spraining an ankle which is worse than a break. I would rather have my foot chopped off then have my sock be wet all day.

Russell Wilson is naturally corny, which makes his mic'd up segments awkward

For Russell Wilson, it's extra weird because I think that is his real conversation. I don't think they left anything on the cutting room floor. Like when Russell Wilson is mic'd up the editor who approves everything, he takes a night off... whatever he says it's going to be corny and it's going to work.

The Kane vs Undertaker storyline is the best in WWE history

I agree with you. It was the best story WWE has ever done, not because of what I did but because they did such a great job telling it... four months before Kane ever debuted, you had Paul Bearer talking about it and you have all this backstory.

WWE performers are the only entertainers in the world required to multitask at such a high level

That's one of the biggest things that separates I think WWE from every other form of entertainment is one second you're doing a promo, the next thing you have a match, next you're doing something else... you're doing a stunt and you have to be able to keep all of that stuff in mind... I think we're the only entertainers in the world that have that sort of multitasking that is demanded of us.

Shawn Michaels and Daniel Bryan are the best performers at connecting with an audience

As far as connecting with the audience overall, Shawn Michaels and Daniel Bryan are the two best people that I've seen that can just like pull an audience in like no one else can do.

The Undertaker's WrestleMania streak should never have been broken

The streak was not something I think that was like some of those planned, right? It just kind of organically grew... that would have been in my opinion, that was one of those things that was part of WrestleMania... what they really wanted to see was just Undertaker 27 and 0. So yeah, I was pretty shocked by that.

The decline in bullying is making kickers mentally weak because they haven't learned to 'weather the storm'

I actually think that the decline in bullying is making high school kickers more mentally weak... They're not able to be bullied at a young age. Nature would say if you're a kicker, you should get bullied a little bit in high school. You should start to weather that storm that way when you get to the NFL where you're getting death threats by strangers online, it's not affecting you as much because you got shoved in a locker.

If you don't have a good cry every now and then, you're crazy

Listen, if you don't have a good cry every now and then... you're crazy. You gotta cry every now and then... Have I cried when I've been drunk? Hell yeah. I think probably the majority of times that I've cried in the last 10 years, I'd say like 50 to 60% have been while I'm drunk.

Tom Brady looked 'dead' and scared against the Texans.

Tom Brady looked kind of dead tonight. He looked like he was the one seeing ghosts. He was very scared of the Texans' SWAT team linebackers.

The NFL should revoke the home playoff game for the winner of the NFC East.

Take away a playoff game. Take away the home playoff game from the team that wins the NFC East. They don't deserve it.

Nick Foles is an average-to-below-average quarterback who stinks despite his Super Bowl win.

If you took out his 27 touchdown, two interception year, he's played 44 games. He's had 44 touchdowns and 32 interceptions. He stinks. ... He is completely average to below average at his profession, but he has reached moments where he has been exceptional.

Justin Tucker is worth a first-round pick in a trade.

How much do you think Justin Tucker is worth if you were trying to trade him? ... His value as a kicker is so off the charts. ... And he's worth like he his value is that of a position player in my mind.

Lamar Jackson has a future as a smooth, gravelly singer.

I don't know if you've noticed this, but Lamar Jackson has such a smooth, unusual voice. I want to hear how he sounds when he tries to sing. I think he could have a nice sleepy brown type gravelly sound to his voice.

Michigan football is a myth that is not on the same level as Ohio State or Alabama.

I'm actually kind of agree just because the Michigan myth is one of the greatest myths going in all of college sports. They have won half a national title in the last 60 years. And they make you think that they matter and that they're on the level of Alabama and USC and Ohio State and Clemson even now. ... realistic Michigan fans probably were like... We aren't going to get better.

Wisconsin will never be on the same level as Ohio State in college football.

This is coming from a guy who roots for a team [Wisconsin] that's about to play Ohio State in Indianapolis and knows Wisconsin will never be on Ohio State's level, and that's just reality.

Paul Bunyan's Axe is the best rivalry trophy in college football

I do think, and I'm obviously biased, but I do think Paul Bunyan's axe is up there... It's fucking awesome. It's enormous. It's just a great trophy to have... grab it and you get to hold it up and it's fucking cool. Fake, fake chop down the goalposts, the whole thing.

Being a NASCAR driver is harder than being a podcaster

Oh, it's definitely harder to be a NASCAR driver... What is our physical risk right now?

Pumpkin pie is not on the Mount Rushmore of pies

Pumpkin pie does not make [the Mount Rushmore]... It is in no way on the Mount Rushmore.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are the Mount Rushmore of Daily Show history

Stewart and Colbert... I think the two that everybody – you bear their fingerprints is either Colbert or Stewart. To me.

LeBron James should have leaned into the 'shut up and dribble' line to handle his China controversy

He should have been like, 'I'm going to shut up and dribble' and reverse it on everyone. He did the worst possible outcome.

Dak Prescott fails to step up and win big games against elite opponents.

Dak Prescott, whenever he plays like a big-time opponent, it feels like he doesn't step up to it... he is 5-13 against winning teams since 2016... The Cowboys defense played well enough to have Dak Prescott win that game for him [against the Patriots].

Dak Prescott is the 'suckiest quarterback that doesn't suck'

He's the suckiest quarterback that doesn't suck... I like Dak Prescott a lot. I think he's a very good quarterback. I think he's a guy you've got to give money to. I just don't - I can't remember the last time he won a big, big game.

Ben Simmons made his first career three-pointer too early

I actually think that he did it too early... Because it was such a big moment. He should have waited till like year 10 looks like your virginity you get it out of the way. Yeah over quickly than you do it a million more times.

Philip Rivers' winning record in one-possession games is misleading because he turns them into two-possession games at the end

Philip Rivers actually has a winning record in one possession games. The only way I can think of to explain that is he's had so many fourth quarter drives where he has been trailing by one possession, where he's thrown a pick six or an interception that's led to an easy six points or three points on the other end, which makes the final score a two possession game.

Ken Jennings is likely a 'soaker' because he's from Utah

I don't know. I think [Ken Jennings] is from Utah. Yeah, so everyone from Utah. I just assumed he soaked. He seems like a guy who soaks.

Joe Biden lost the youth vote by calling marijuana a 'gateway drug'

Joe Biden, he's running to be commander in chief, but he doesn't like weed. He says that it should remain illegal at the federal level because it's a gateway drug. Yeah, so he just lost the youth vote.

The 'OK Boomer' trend is dead because internet users are fighting with straw men

The boomer thing is done. It's too much... there are no baby boomers on Twitter. There's like a few people who write like op-eds in New York Times, but we're really arguing with no one... we have created straw men all around us and we're just whacking at it with a machete.

NBA games were manipulated by refs based on points of emphasis, not by direct point shaving

Fixing games. I mean, some people think that I went out there and put Shaquille O'Neal to the bench or LeBron James to the bench so that some of these bets won. That's really not what happened. I picked the games based on relationships that existed between referees and players, referees and coaches, and referees and owners, and what took place in the morning meetings with the referees and what was going to be called that night and how a team was going to be put at an advantage or disadvantage.

Officiating in the 2002 Lakers-Kings series was manipulated to ensure it went to Game 7

Definitely manipulate it when you talk about Dick Bavetta at the in 2002... the famous Lakers Sacramento Game 6. He openly said to a lot of us that he was the NBA's go-to guy. He was put on Game 6s to make sure they went to a Game 7 and that was one of the most fucked up games in the history of the NBA.

NBA officiating in the playoffs is manipulated to extend series for revenue

When you talk about the way the business was operated and how they were dictating what the referees were calling, especially during the playoffs, I think there's some culpability there... you're not fixing these games, but you're manipulating them for the bottom line of going five, six, and seven games.

James Harden travels are intentionally ignored because the NBA wants the highlights

The thing is that the NBA doesn't want that travel called. And when [James Harden] does travel, and even when it's obvious, they'll come out and say it has something to do with the gather, the Eurostep, the way the rule is written. It's just a bunch of bullshit to protect the fact that nobody called the travel.

The 'full block' on social media is the healthiest way to handle a breakup in 2019

I think that the full block on social media for everything is a healthy way to move on. Because if you break up with someone, you're going to go creeping on their stuff... so to go clean slate, I'm just going to like remove everything. I think that's a healthy way to deal with the breakup.

Chase Daniel is the 'sparklessest' quarterback in the history of the NFL

It was a bitch move taking [Trubisky] out there and putting Chase Daniel in to get the world's saddest spark. They were like, I want a spark. Then put literally anyone except for Chase Daniel in. He's the sparklessest quarterback in the history of the NFL.

If Matthew Stafford had played, the Lions would have beaten the Cowboys

If Matthew Stafford starts this game, the Lions probably win.

Quarterbacks who wear number 2 are generally bad (except for Matt Ryan)

he wears number 2, no good players wear number 2. Matt Ryan is the best player you can probably name that's ever wore number two. It's not a good number. Anything except for 2. I can't think of a good quarterback Matt Ryan is the only one.

Carmelo Anthony has been a hipster his entire career

I'm actually thinking his entire career Carmelo has been a hipster. Yeah. He dropped out of college. I went to go chill in Denver for a while got real high tried to go to New York because that's where all the Arts and stuff are happened... his greatest accomplishments all happen when he was traveling abroad.