Takes

Essential Quality is a machine but hasn't run a fast race yet

He's just a machine so far... The one knock on him... [is] he's yet to run what most people would consider to be a fast race by Kentucky Derby favorite standards.

Sarcasm is the best way to prepare a child for life

I'm going to weaponize [my son] with sarcasm. That will hopefully get him through life.

Citizen Kane is no longer the best movie of all time according to Rotten Tomatoes

Someone that works at Rotten Tomatoes found an 80-year-old review... talking a negative review about Citizen Kane. So they put it in the Rotten Tomatoes whatever system, and now it's 99 on Rotten Tomatoes, not 100. Paddington 2 is 100. So Citizen Kane, by Rotten Tomatoes metrics, no longer the best movie of all time.

Arthur Smith's family wealth proves his genuine love for football

His dad is the CEO of FedEx and he could have just been rich. Instead, he's like, I want to grind tape and be an offensive coordinator for a bunch of years and then hopefully get the dignity of being able to stand on the sidelines as my team collapses... it's pretty fair to say that he loves football.

There are more complete-game one-hitters than no-hitters in MLB history

I'll bet that there's more. [Complete game one-hitters]. I'm not a math guy, but I'm rolling with math on this one.

Zach Wilson will be drafted number two overall by the Jets

I know for a fact Zach Wilson is going number two overall to the Jets.

Nikola Jokic is the NBA MVP.

Jokic is our MVP. I was reminded we're nuggets podcast. ... 7% credit. All I was saying was I was just throwing it out there.

Kevin Durant is the new official Mayor of Twitter

I'm removing the mayor of Twitter handle title from Chrissy Teigen, giving it to Kevin Durant... Kevin Durant actually engages with everybody online. And he engages with every single Twitter development... He is the official mayor of Twitter, as far as I'm concerned.

I will start watching the show 'Dave' by next Wednesday

By the time I speak to you on next Wednesday's show, within the next week, I will have started Dave. That's my resolution... I'm going to be able to fulfill on two out of those three [goals] already and three out of three by next week.

Steph Curry is the greatest shooter in the history of basketball and deserves more respect

I think that we're in the specific zone now where we don't respect Steph Curry enough... we should just remember the fact that we're watching literally the greatest shooter of all time play basketball. So we should just enjoy that and be like, holy shit, Steph Curry is awesome all the time. He is that much better of a shooter than everyone else in the history of basketball.

Tony Romo is a genius when it comes to the mechanics of a golf swing

The guy is a genius when it comes to the mechanics. Like he understands people's golf swings better than I even think some coaches do with their students just because he sits there and he studies them nonstop.

It is a 'big sunglasses on the back of the head guy' move to rip a ball away from a 5-year-old at a park

[Speaker 2]: his son was way older than mine, and he just stole the ball from our ball. And I was like, you can't take that. [PFT Commenter]: You know what that is? That's a big sunglasses on the back of the head upside down guy move.

You can't tell the story of football without Julian Edelman and Eli Manning

The best argument that Julian Edelman has and Eli Manning is you can't tell the story of football without those guys. Because you can't tell the story of the Falcons Super Bowl without Julian Edelman. You can't tell the story of Tom Brady's career without Eli Manning.

Will Zalatoris is ready to join the PMT 'stable' of golfers

Will Zalatoris was my guy. I was riding him like a horse. I was hoping that he was going to come through. He is – he's the one to watch. I think we need to get him on the show. I think we need to add him to our stable of Brooks [Koepka], Max Homa, and I think Will Zalatoris is – I think he's ready.

Being a dad is the coolest thing ever

Being a dad is, like, the coolest thing ever. I'm just going to say that. Not to be sappy. But I fucking, like, me and my son, like, we bro out hard all the time... vibes to the moon.

I genuinely didn't know the T in 'mortgage' was silent

I genuinely thought that's it. I didn't know the T was silent... I missed that once. I've gotten criticism in my broadcasting career. I've gotten destroyed for this... It's my fault. I messed up.

No one in the world was beating Baylor in the National Championship game

No one in the world was beating Baylor on Monday night. And I think that we spent all year talking about how great Gonzaga was, rightfully so, because they were undefeated. But the real debate now is, is Baylor an all-time great team? Because they destroyed everyone in the tournament.

Drew Timmy has no choice but to return to college after his bad championship performance

Here's something nice for Gonzaga fans. Drew Timmy played so bad in the championship game. He has no choice but to come back to college.

Both the Jets and Panthers will finish the season 9-8 after the Sam Darnold trade

Both teams finished this trade 9-8. That's really what it comes down to.

The Masters is the best 'come down' from the stress of March Madness

There's nothing better, though, than the Masters come down from the March Madness. It is really the greatest... Like set up because it's high impact, high stress sports watching for three, four weeks. And then you get the most low impact, good on your knees, napping on the couch in and out the best type of sports watching.

You must eat only white cheese if you want to live to 100

I had a cab driver once from LaGuardia who was like, if you want to live to 100, you got to eat only white cheese. He's like, the minute you eat yellow cheese, you're going to kill yourself... He said it was such authority that I was like, damn. He must be right.

Gonzaga vs. UCLA was one of the best tournament games in history

This is sports rule because we have the national championship tonight in the Final Four on Saturday and one of the best basketball games, tournament games, we've watched in the history of the tournament. I'm fine with maybe being a little hyperbolic with that statement, that game fucking ruled.

Gonzaga will win the National Championship

I'm going to take Gonzaga. I think they're going to win. I think it's going to be an awesome game.

WWE fans will initially complain about any major change

I'm of the opinion that no matter what you do, people are going to, in their initial take on it, their initial thought is to question or criticize... nothing is perfect in its first iteration. And there'll be a lot of changes that are made... i think this is going to be a great thing for people long term.

I am going to be a major Major League Baseball fan this year

I've decided to own a fantasy baseball team in a $0 a year league on ESPN with random people. I am going to be a major league baseball fan this year. Just like of the entire league. Just of the stats.

A Gonzaga-Baylor championship game won't appeal to casual sports fans as much as Blue Bloods

If we can get Gonzaga-Baylor, it would be great for intercollege basketball fans, but the casual sports fan, maybe not. They won't set aside the time if it was Duke versus Kentucky in the championship.

Hubert Davis will probably be the next head coach at North Carolina

I think the plan right now, as Big Cat said, is Hubert Davis. Hubert Davis will probably be the next head coach in North Carolina. I love Hubert Davis as a guy. I don't know Hubert Davis as a coach. So we'll see.

I am officially retiring from giving pregame speeches

I gave them [Tony Scheffler's team] a pump up speech before state quarterfinals. And then they lost by like 40. I'm retiring from the pregame speech. We'll stop doing speeches.

10:00 PM tip-offs separate the real college basketball fans from the casuals

The late start times, I initially was like, you know what? This separates the casuals from the real fans like me, if you're willing to stay up until 10 for a tip-off. Two school nights in a row of 10 o'clock tip-offs. I think I've seen enough.

Gonzaga is so good that you shouldn't overthink their dominance

Gonzaga had the classic situation tonight where everyone is so sick of how good Gonzaga is that they all said to themselves, USC is the toughest opponent they'll ever meet... And I tweeted, obviously I lost the Michigan bet, but I said, don't overthink it. Gonzaga's that good.

I've accepted that Gonzaga is winning the National Championship

Gonzaga is probably not going to lose. I've just accepted the fact Gonzaga is probably going to win this NCAA championship.

Billy Football doesn't have the punctuality to be a Navy SEAL

Billy drunkenly tweeted... 'I would trade it all to be a Navy SEAL.' Now... rule number one of being a Navy SEAL is punctuality. And Billy fails at that all the time.

Baseball suffered the most from having no fans in attendance

I'm very excited about baseball season because baseball, I think, was the sport that suffered the most not having fans in attendance. It didn't feel real with nobody in the stands. There's something about going to a baseball game in the middle of the day in the summertime.

The 49ers definitely traded up to the #3 pick for a quarterback

The biggest ramification from all this is it's clear the 49ers traded up for a quarterback. John Lynch said afterwards, like, no, Jimmy Garoppolo is still our guy. Okay, no, but whatever. Thanks for saying it.

Francis Ngannou's life story deserves a 30 for 30

We do need a 30 for 30 on Francis Ngannou's life. It's crazy. He worked in a sand mine when he was 10 years old in Cameroon... traveled to Europe, took 14 months, failed a bunch of times, had to go to prison because he illegally crossed the border... and now he's a world champ.

Arkansas will 'kill' Oral Roberts in the Sweet 16

Oral Roberts, Arkansas. Arkansas is going to kill them. Must bust all the way.

Soft basketball teams cannot win in the NCAA Tournament in March

You've got to get to the free throw line. Soft teams can't win in March. There you go. That was a Buffalo quote. I had a few quotes at Buffalo... quit avoiding contact. Get your butt to the free throw line.

Bill Walton incepted the Pac-12 teams into becoming the 'Conference of Champions'

He's [Bill Walton] incepted us into thinking that the Pac-12 is actually the Conference of Champions, and now he's incepted the teams themselves into believing in themselves so much that they are now advancing to potentially become the Conference of Champions.

I'm a Must-Bust believer

I'm a Must-Bust believer. The runs that they [Arkansas] go on, when they decide to step on the gas pedal, the Must-Bust, and they turn it on against Texas Tech, it was like, there's no going back.

My Final Four picks: Gonzaga, UConn, Illinois, and Arkansas

I have Gonzaga, UConn, Huskies are back, Illinois. And Arkansas. That's my Final Four.

Every NFL contract is effectively a two-year deal

The way to look at every single contract in the NFL is it's a two-year deal. No matter how many dollars they throw out there, how many years they throw out there, everyone just signed a two-year deal and then they can cut. If you look at every contract like that, it all kind of makes sense.

Drake's Scary Hours 2 tracks are currently holding the top three spots on the Billboard charts

Drake released three new songs last week, and they're now one, two, and three on the Billboard [Hot 100].

Wisconsin will lose to North Carolina in the first round

Wisconsin is not going to beat UNC. It's the lowest I've ever felt about a Badger team going into the tournament. I can't even be hurt.

The connection between Drew Brees and New Orleans is a unique player-city relationship that will never be replicated

I don't think we will ever see a player have a relationship with a city as unique and as deep as Drew Brees has with New Orleans. It's very rare for there to be that perfect set of events... what he did for that city and the pride that I think that city takes in Drew Brees... it goes beyond sports.

Syracuse has a 50-50 shot to make the NCAA tournament, but they will ultimately get in

I think it depends on how the bubble teams around them do... but gut says yes [they get in].

Every major corporation needs a consultant specifically to identify if an idea will be mocked by the internet

It made me realize that I have job security no matter what in life in that every team and corporation should have on staff a person who essentially is just there to say, 'Hey, will we get made fun of for this?'... our, 'Will the internet make fun of you for this?' is absolutely a job we could do.

Cocaine Bear is already a 'must-see' movie

Elizabeth Banks is to direct a bear-centric thriller, Cocaine Bear, for Universal... Just a movie, a must-see. I'm already slapping a must-see on it.

Baseball is the only All-Star game that actually works

I really don't understand like the all star games. They just don't. Baseball is really the only all star game that really actually works because you can't not throw hard. It's one on one. It's just like no one's even playing.

A basketball team that makes over 200 passes in a game is unlikely to lose.

We found if we move the ball 200 plus passes, we're not going to lose many games. And then the games that we play really poorly offensively are usually our lowest passing games.

Gonzaga will probably win the NCAA tournament

And again, I think Gonzaga is, Gonzaga probably will win the tournament. They probably are going to win the tournament, whatever.