Takes

Bill Belichick's girlfriend being copied on all North Carolina emails is a sign of shadow coaching

Belichick is telling all the North Carolina officials to copy his girlfriend on any emails that they send him... she's apparently very smart philosopher, right? He's asking his bosses to copy her on all the emails... Is she the shadow coach at UNC?

Shohei Ohtani is the best baseball player of all time

I'd say that this, he is the best baseball player of all time. Whether or not he'll have the best career of all time is kind of up for grabs. But we've never seen anybody that's doing what he's doing.

I'm rooting for Travis Kelce to propose to Taylor Swift on the jumbotron to watch the internet break

The one thing I am rooting for is I hope Travis Kelce proposes Taylor Swift. That would be awesome on the field after... I root for it because all the swifties would have to do mental gymnastics to be like, that's so cute... I want it like to be on the jumbotron and then Swifties have to be like, that's so beautiful.

Steve Sarkisian will be on the hot seat if Texas loses the Red River Showdown

Sark definitely could be on the hot seat if he loses this game [Red River Showdown]. [PFT: You think so?] I mean they've they've they played Alabama close then they lose to Texas Tech if they lose to if they lose to Oklahoma, people are gonna start asking questions.

Flavored 'Water for Dogs' is a billion-dollar business idea

I came up with a billion dollar idea maybe quadrillion or trillion dollar idea: its water for dogs... why not a little flavored water for your dog? So you can either go with the Savory option and have it be like a bacon flavored water or bone broth water.

Novak Djokovic is the GOAT of tennis over Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal

I hate to say this but Novak's got to into slams in 2019. Federer has none. So he's better right now... he is the goat. All right, and he beat him in Wimbledon. No big deal.

Tony Romo will be the Cowboys head coach in 2020

I did hear, though, that the Cowboys aren't going to extend [Jason] Garrett. So he's going to be a lame duck next year. You know what that means. Coach Romo. Coach Romo in 2020.

The 'Green Zone' on-field graphic will save the NFL's TV ratings

Breaking moves. I think the NFL has figured out how to save their ratings in their league. The green zone. It's a new feature they rolled out tonight. It's on third downs. It shows you how far players will have to go at any point during the play to get a first down.

There is an oversaturation of dogs on social media

I'm getting on the borderline of getting sick of the oversaturation of dogs on Twitter.

Golf does not belong in the Olympics

I'll tell you one thing I think is ridiculous is all this Olympics and golf... to me, the Olympics does – it's not golf. If you're a golfer... it just seems silly. You want to win the British Open, you want to win the Masters, you want to win the U.S. Open... nobody cares about the Olympics. It's track and field, it's weight lifting, it's swimming.