Takes

Taking $30,000 is better than playing one week in the MLB

Would you rather get handed 30 K right now or play a week in the big leagues? 30 k all day... If you put me on an MLB team for a week, I think it'd be the most miserable week of your life. Every single play just being a disaster for you.

It is almost impossible to get a bad version of a BLT

I'll go with BLT. Classic. Never fails. Some of these sandwiches, you can get bad versions of them. It's almost impossible to get a bad version of A BLT.

A Chicken Club sandwich is much better than a Turkey Club

I'm gonna go with chicken club. Much better than a Turkey club. Oh, much better.

The Banh Mi is the best sandwich in the world

I'm gonna go with it Bon me [Banh Mi] the Vietnamese sandwich. It's so, fuck. I, I think it's rated as like the best sandwich in the world. I read that a couple places... It's awesome. Yeah. It's, I would say it's worthy of a first round grade.

Pimento cheese is an overrated sandwich filling

I think pimento cheese is overrated... The problem with pimento cheese is there's absolutely no crunch or hard factor in there. It's just soft. Just soft.

I would retire from football if it guaranteed the Bills a Super Bowl win

If that's what it took, I would do it. [Big Cat: You guarantee it?] I would do it. I feel like I would have a part whether I played or not.

I do not want a championship ring from the 2024 Boston Celtics

I greatly appreciate that sentiment, but I am truly so happy for those guys and you know, they deserved it. And again, did your part though... but I don't want the ring. I think that that equals no ring.

The new Big 12 will be very fun despite losing Oklahoma and Texas

I think the new Big 12 is gonna be very, very fun. Yes. And I'm also very excited because no one ever talks about... Arizona and Kansas playing Big 12 basketball is gonna rule. [They've] had some good runs, but losing Oklahoma and Texas does not help.

Keegan Bradley being named Ryder Cup captain is an intentional 'make good' for his 2023 snub

It does feel like a make good, but it's, I mean, he's a great dude and he's gonna be a good captain. I just want him to be as petty as possible and like, maybe even call Zach Johnson and be like, 'Hey, you've made the Ryder Cup team, we need you on the team.' And then him be like, 'Really? That's awesome.' Like psych you bro.

The Marshawn Lynch and Gavin Newsom podcast marks the top of the podcast bubble

Marshawn Lynch, Gavin Newsom and Doug whatever, Doug... Having a podcast together is the very sign that the podcast bubble is about to burst.

One bagel is never satisfying; a backup bagel is essential for breakfast

One and a half bagels is usually the perfect amount... One bagel is never fully satisfying. A backup bagel is the most important. What about bacon, egg and cheese. Great. You need to finish it off with something. Keep it off with a bagel.

I sometimes order backup sandwiches at Jimmy John's

Sometimes I'll do backup sandwiches... like if you want to try two different things. I'll get like a buffalo chicken sandwich and a cheesesteak... I always get a backup sandwich. You can put that in the fridge.

Andy Pettitte is the best big-game pitcher I have ever seen

Andy Pettitte's probably the best big game pitcher I've ever seen, you know, in my career. He just, that guy just, he knew how to win.

MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred hates baseball and should have been fired years ago

Rob Manfred. I just, I think he hates baseball. So he's just screwing it up while his tenure's still going. And he's gonna see how much he could fuck it up... They should have booted him years ago.

Bronny James should be required to use 'LeBron James Jr.' in the box score instead of 'B. James'

I really don't like the fact that [Bronny] is going by Bronny. Why not? His name's LeBron James Jr. Just go LeBron James Jr. I don't like calling like it's even in the box score. It's B James. Yeah. I don't like that, bro. I agree with you. The name is LeBron James Jr.

DeMar DeRozan is the 'working man's Steph Curry'

DeMar DeRozan is the working man Steph Curry. [He does it] old fashioned [with twos not threes].

Baseball players are secretly happy when they get snubbed from the All-Star game

If I'm a baseball player and I get snubbed for the All-Star game, I'm secretly excited about it because at least you get to go have like three days where you don't have to work.

The World Series trophy is the worst trophy in sports

There is no worse trophy than the World Series. That trophy stinks. That trophy's just literally like, Hey, how can we make a trophy that looks like it's gonna break at any moment? ... It really is. It's, it's really a blowout when you go from like the Stanley Cup to the World Series. ... The problem with it is, it, it looks cool if it's in a glass container, but to actually celebrate with it, you can't celebrate with it.

I really want to play for the Olympic flag football team

I really wanna play for the Olympic flag football team. Yeah. Like me, Ja'Marr [Chase], Justin [Jefferson]. Me and my friends out there playing flag football.

NFL players should be allowed to taunt because they are adults getting paid

Why can't, I don't really understand. I think if you're getting paid to play football, you can taunt. I'm all for not taunting in college and high school. But once you get paid to play, I think we should be able to taunt and nobody's gonna get their feelings hurt. Like we're all big boys, we're gonna be okay.

The Bengals' championship window is open as long as I am the quarterback

[Is the window open?] It's always open. If you don't feel like that, then why are you playing football?

Chicken wings are the best food and would be my number one overall pick in a food draft

Chicken wings is my favorite. It is the best food. I would take it one, one in a food draft.

The Sixers must make the NBA Finals or beat the Celtics within the next two years for the Paul George signing to be a success

It's a two year window to at least make we have to at least make a finals. Make a finals play for. NBA finals beat the Celtics NBA finals. We have to beat the Celtics one of these next two years.

James Harden was the primary problem during his tenure with the 76ers

[James Harden] is probably the problem, James. I've seen enough close up with my own two eyes to know that maybe I should not trust what you're saying about [the Sixers front office].

Klay Thompson will be rejuvenated and excel in Dallas

I'm buying Klay Thompson stock. I think he's gonna be, I think you're gonna get like a rejuvenated Klay Thompson hitting wide open threes because Luka's gonna take all the pressure off him. I'm buying Klay Thompson. I don't think this is the end of Klay Thompson.

The USMNT must fire Gregg Berhalter now or give up on the 2026 World Cup

Our players didn't play that well, but our coaching stunk. And so now he's gotta be fired. We gotta fire Greg. Now's time. If we're not gonna fire him now, just might as well give up on the World Cup.

The July 4th holiday is ruined by Joey Chestnut's absence from the Nathan's hot dog contest

America's on the Hot Seat because it just dawned on me again that Joey Chestnut's not competing. That fucking sucks. One of the things that makes it the best holidays is just not gonna be there. And I think we all just need to be like ready for it because it's gonna suck beyond belief.

Gunnar Henderson was a massive steal in the second round of the Dingers Only draft

I'll take Gunnar Henderson. Fuck. I didn't—I don't know how he lasted that long... I was hoping that PFT was gonna take judge and I was gonna take Gunner, but I had to—he left me Judge and I had to take him. I wanted Gunner. Gunner slipped to the second round.

Nothing is hotter than asking for consent even when you know you already have it

It was nothing's hotter than asking for consent when you know that you have it. I think a lot of problems. I agree.

I have a higher alcohol tolerance than dwarves because of my size

But I'm bigger than [the dwarves]. It will take me a lot longer to get drunk. I think [I] might just get drunk with them.

It is better to be a good guy with an axe than a good guy without one

Good guy with an axe though. Absolutely. Better than a bad guy with an ax. Would rather be a good guy with an axe than a good guy without wanting to come across.

The Philadelphia Eagles should have saved their 'double eagle' for late in the season instead of starting hot and crashing

I don't wanna double eagle too early like the football team did last year. We gotta a double eagle late in the season.

The NBA needs to fix how they announce draft-day trades

Do your fucking trades like a normal league. Correct. Do your trades normally don't... Announce them normally... Via, via via. No. Just put a different logo on there. I'm dumb. I can't understand. I I see the first team and then I'm like, oh, there logos everywhere. That must be who this player is getting picked by. Do it normally.

The NBA should not have a two-day draft because they aren't the NFL

NBA I like it. I I love basketball. I I love the NBA. You're not the NFL. You don't get two days. Okay. Like the, the, the first round was already a bunch of French guys and people that we didn't watch play basketball last year. And now you're gonna make us do two days of this.

There are too many French players in the NBA draft

That's another thing. Too many French. Too many. This kind of, the takeover is, is happening. Dr. Naismith is rolling over in his peach basket.

America loses the presidential debate because the only candidates are two 80-year-olds

America loses. Alright. We have a country of 360 million people and all we can find is two guys that are fucking 80 years old and America loses. Two 80-year-old guys with Cokehead sons. America loses.

CrossFit is the ultimate hobby that consumes a person's life and language

CrossFit. It consumes your life. You have to start recruiting other people to go to CrossFit. You put stickers all over your cars, stickers on your laptops... The one that they, they speak in CrossFit language. Yeah. And they, they ask each other constantly. How'd you do on the workout of the day?

Swifties are the number one hobby that becomes an entire personality

Obviously my one one or I guess one two Swifties. I mean, they're the cra they're the number one. Yeah. Right now they're the number one. Yeah. That is their hobby. That becomes their entire personality. Swifties If. you If you see a swifty online. That's all they want to talk about is Swifties.

Disney Adults are the weirdest people in the world

Disney adults. They're the weirdest people in the, the world now... There's a lot of people out there that get married at Disney World. Yeah. Get propose at Disney World. Yeah. They dress up as Disney characters. And I actually think... Disney adults, their hobby becomes their personality traits because the rest of the world no longer accepts 'em.

Being a 'wife guy' or significant other enthusiast is a hobby that becomes a personality

I was gonna just do like significant other, like when a guy gets a new girlfriend or a girl gets a new boyfriend and they just start posting about them 24/7... significant it plays together is more that's, that's more hobby-ish.

The Sonos app is terrible and needs to be completely fixed

I got something to say about Sonos. Figure it out guys. Ooh, what's up with this app? Why do I need the app to, to play the, the music? I agree. And if you're gonna require me to have the app to play music, at least make the app good. You know? Yes. I gotta be able to go on my Spotify and just click a speaker. Yep. You can do it with everything else.

The Lakers shouldn't draft Bronny James just for the novelty

I just don't wanna be the team that drafts Bronny just for the novelty... I know, but you know, and it's, it'll be cool for like a game and then it's like, well fuck, did we just ruin our future just to have Bronny?

The world needs straight comedy movies that aren't trying to be serious or deep

I see the movies coming out that are kind of comedies and I watch 'em. I feel like they're mid and lacking in comedy... When you put a comedy on, you drop your guard, right? Yeah. When you put on like The Hangover or some shit... And I'm ready to just immerse in this last year.

St. John's is much bigger and faster this season and I'm bullish on the team

Well, we're much bigger. We're 7-1, 7-foot, 6-10, 6-9... I have a young man from Utah, Deivon Smith, who is faster than, as fast, if not faster than Peyton Siva... I'm really bullish on this basketball team.

NHL goalies should be pulled from the ice with at least four minutes remaining

I think the goalie should have been pulled with like six minutes left in the period... no, I think they just like four and a half... I think you pull the goalie super early... it should definitely be more than one minute 45 seconds.

The Conn Smythe Trophy is the cruelest gift you can give a player who just lost the Stanley Cup

Fuck off on giving me that trophy after I just had my guts ripped out and was on the brink of a historical, historical comeback... why would you want to accept it? It's cool that he won it. He was the best player in these playoffs. He broke all these records, but fuck off on giving me that trophy... I would say it's probably the meanest gift you can give to somebody.

Three beers is the perfect amount for playing a round of golf

Drank three beers and then the round ended and he ended up in a playoff and won the playoff... he was like, three beers are gonna make me play perfect. Like yes. It's the perfect amount. It is... for the people that say like, I need, you know, you hit a bad shot or you have a couple bad holes. You're like, I need to drink three beers.

The French plan to shit in the Seine to protest the Olympics is an awesome move

I stand with the French on [shitting in the river to protest]. I think it rocks to say we're gonna take a shit on our president. Yes. I think that's a very fun thing to do.

JJ Redick is officially banned from Pardon My Take until he starts podcasting again

[JJ Redick] is no longer in the content game. He's not doing any podcasts anymore. He turned his back on the podcast community that built him up... I think we should ban him from Pardon My Take. JJ is banned from Pardon My Take... unless he decides to do podcasts again.

JJ Redick used his podcast with LeBron James as a 4-month job interview for the Lakers

He used podcasting... it's a stepping stone job... LeBron, you can have conversations with people and be like, I think this guy would be a good coach... just say what it was. Yeah. We decided, we realized that podcasting is the greatest loophole ever. And we did a podcast about the philosophies of basketball... I was essentially interviewing him for the job and then we hired him.