Takes

Lamar Jackson needs to hit at least a 60% completion rate for success

What does success look like for [Lamar Jackson] next year? I'd say it's minimum 60% completion rate because we're going to be throwing the ball downfield, so it's not going to be a dink and dunk offense.

Dwayne Haskins is the clear-cut #1 quarterback in the 2019 draft

Haskins is number one. Better than Kyler Murray. Clear cut, stand in the pocket, read the field quarterback.

Josh Allen will be the best quarterback from the 2018 rookie class

I'm all over Josh Allen. I think he's the best. I think he's going to be the best of the group.

The city of Philadelphia will turn on Bryce Harper within five years

I have a prediction. I think that the city of Philadelphia is going to turn on Bryce Harper within five years. Give it four, actually. I think that given Bryce's history... He's such a streaky player. He's got a little bit of an attitude sometimes. But when you're making this kind of money, there's a big, big target on your back.

LeBron James will never win a championship without Lonzo Ball

Lonzo Ball is actually the most correct of anyone because he said that LeBron will never win without him... LeVar Ball said that LeBron will never win without Lonzo, and the Lakers are not as good of a team when Lonzo's out.

The world will be completely over in 150 years

I am 100% one of those people now that thinks the world's going to be done in 150 years. ... People who are saying we'll figure it out, it's too late. We have not figured it out.

The world will be over in 15 years

I think take away the zero [from 150 years]. Oh, 15. ... [The world's] done.

The New York Islanders are not 'for real' and cannot win the Stanley Cup

I'm going to say, like, no, right? [to are the Islanders for real] ... I understand, too, they think this is the beginning of what will be a successful year... But I don't think they can win the cup.

The Washington Capitals have a 20% chance of repeating as Stanley Cup champions

Pittsburgh did it for the first time in like 20 years... I'm going to say 20%. They're a good team, right? ... I just think that it's tough because guys are exhausted and they've ripped it up extra hard.

Pot Coin will take off in the next six to twelve months

My guys that came up with this idea of pot coin back in Canada. ... It's going to take off. I mean, yeah, it's going to take off. ... I think in the next say in the next six to 12 months, it should be popping off.

The Minnesota Timberwolves will never win an NBA title due to the Ja Rule curse

The Minnesota Timberwolves will never win an NBA title. It has been declared. You just jinxed yourself talking to the God [Ja Rule] this way. You're cursed now. You won't win a championship for the next 30 years and [Karl-Anthony Towns] is leaving.

LeBron James will fake a season-ending injury if the Lakers miss the playoffs

As soon as it becomes like this is a realistic thing [missing the playoffs], [LeBron James] will definitely be like, oh, my hamstring hurts because too much sheesh. My groin. His groin issue. All the sheesh has added weight to my groin.

Bryce Harper will sign with the Philadelphia Phillies

I think it's pretty clear he's going to go to the Phillies. They're the last team that's willing to deal with this bullshit. It's basically he's doing a pretty good job of weeding out all the teams that would get pissed off at him if he did sign that big contract.

Zion Williamson will return for the NCAA Tournament

I think Zion should sit and then come back for the tournament and, in the words of Billy McFarland, just fuck it, let's be legends.

The Celtics' internal tension will lead to 20 championships

This tension that they have right now is going to really, it's going to bring the team together as one. They're going to unite. Kyrie's going to be a leader. Then he's going to resign and he's going to stay a Celtic until he actually dies until he's 70 years old and he's going to have 20 championships.

Antonio Brown will sign a four-year, $79 million guaranteed contract with the Redskins

It's going to be the Redskins. So here's what's going to happen. He's going to join the Redskins. They're going to pay, I'll say, four years, $79 million guaranteed. And he'll play for two, well, one and a half. And then he'll just sit out the rest of the year.

Denny Hamlin will win at least five NASCAR races in 2019

Hey, man, I'm proud of you, man. We bounced back after a tough year last year and started off right, so I expect at least five wins. [Hamlin]: That's the number for me. I put out there five and a half was the over-under.

Zion Williamson will be a Chicago Bull and his appearance in next year's dunk contest will be an all-time moment

Zion going next year's dunk contest will be incredible because Zion Williamson, as a Chicago Bull, doing it in the United Center is going to be an all-time moment.

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant are going to sign with the New York Knicks

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant are in love. Full-blown love. They were like tickling each other. They were horsing around. A lot of horseplay. You just got to say, New York Knicks.

The Rams will beat the Patriots in Super Bowl LIII

I take the Rams over the Patriots. Yes, I do... I am technically copping out because those who make predictions or are forced to, when you make a preseason prediction that actually turns out to be spot on—I now have the cover of saying, well, I predicted it before the season, so I can't give up now.

Ohio State will stop beating the crap out of everyone now that Urban Meyer is gone

He's [Urban Meyer] going to go play golf or whatever that famous golf course is... and then suddenly Ohio State's not going to be beating the crap out of everybody. I don't know. Okay, you think [Ryan Day] will beat the crap out of everyone?

Bryce Harper is going to sign with the Philadelphia Phillies

Bryce Harper, it's alleged that he's going to be signing with the Phillies any day now... I think he's going to be a Philly.

Colin Kaepernick likely has a clause in his settlement preventing him from ever playing in the NFL again

I gathered this from what Florio said, which was it's very common in these types of settlements to have a clause in there saying that he will never work for that league again. So it might be in his contract that he'll never be an NFL player again. And honestly, I'm kind of okay with that because of how exhausting the takes would be on every single pass that he threw.

If Duke doesn't reach the Sweet 16, I will buy and keep a cat

Sweet 16, you got a deal... So if Trey Jones is injured, they'll still get to the Sweet 16... No, you guys definitely fucking planned this before the show... I'm so confident in Duke that it doesn't matter.

I am not going to the White House to celebrate the Super Bowl win

No. I might make TMZ for that... People make it more big of a deal like this will probably get blown up.

Kyler Murray will be a first-round NFL draft pick

Kyler Murray has made the correct decision, and he's going to be an NFL quarterback. A really good one, probably, too. And now we get to debate for the next two months whether he will be a first-rounder, which he will. He will be.

The Lakers will miss the NBA playoffs this season

The Los Angeles Lakers, if the playoffs started today, would not be in it. They'll be three games out after tonight's loss to the Hawks... LeBron [James] out of my arm. I don't want to miss the playoffs. Rondo hit the game winner, and it was like, well, problem solved. The Lakers are okay. And then they're out of the playoffs right now.

The Jets will sign Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell but still win only six games

This is going to be just the Jets getting Antonio Brown in, Le'Veon Bell, and then still winning six games, right? Yes. Because that's going to be... It's going to be so funny.

The French Bulldog or the Toy Poodle are the favorites to win Westminster Best in Show

Tonight, if you're watching, look at the non-sporting group. There's two really big-time winning dogs right now. There's a really pretty French Bulldog... Racking up the dubs. And then in the toy group, there's a little toy, white toy poodle... watch it move. It flies around the ring like a big dog.

I will likely lose weight when I retire because I only eat this much to maintain my size

I think I'll lose weight [when I retire]... because I don't necessarily love eating as much as I do. I know I have to. So it's much more now of just eating to keep the weight on and keep the muscle on. But when I'm done, I'll probably eat three regular meals a day and not get crazy with it.

No one is beating Duke in the 2019 NCAA Tournament

I mean, it's Duke's year. No one is beating Duke. No one. This is not happening. They are a special team with a special coach.

LeBron James will fake an injury down the stretch to avoid the embarrassment of missing the playoffs

I'm predicting right now LeBron will have some kind of injury coming down the stretch... There's no way LeBron James is going to play the rest of the season and miss the playoffs. Like, willingly do that.

The Anthony Davis trade to the Lakers is basically done because LaVar Ball is talking again

LeVar comes out of the rock he was under, silent for the last six months, now saying he wants Lonzo to go to Phoenix... that just tells me the trade's been done because LeVar knows he no longer has to worry about LeBron paying him his hush money.

Duke is definitely going to win the national championship

Duke's definitely the best team... which is terrible because that means Duke is definitely going to win the national championship.

This is finally Virginia's year to win it all

I actually believe in Virginia this time. Honest to God, hand to God... This is their year. No, I don't know if they're going to win. Their offense is better this year than it has been every year.

No Big Ten team is good enough to win the national championship this year

I don't think the Big Ten has a team good enough to win the national championship if they're here. I really don't.

Rick Pitino will get another job but not at a power conference

I think he is going to get a job eventually though... he'll pop up somewhere he's gonna he's gonna go to some tiny ass school and someone's going to write the article, like probably Dickie V, about how Rick Pitino is, you know, he's changing his image.

The Houston Texans will never win a Super Bowl

The Texans will never win a Super Bowl.

The lower-tier coaches hired from the Sean McVay tree won't be successful

The fifth or sixth guy that gets hired [from the McVay tree] is the fifth or sixth best offensive guy, so he's probably not that good. Exactly.

Jeff Fisher has zero percent chance of getting another NFL head coaching job

[Jeff Fisher?] Nope. No chance. [Zero?] Zero.

A long-distance throwing competition between Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes will happen

I talked to Josh. He said that he's in. Slid into those DMs on Pat Mahomes. And he has committed interest to it. He said, yeah, let's do it. We'll have to wait until further in the offseason.

The Rams are impossible to bet against because it is a Wade Phillips 'Dad Game'

Wade Phillips dedicates one game a year to his late father, Bum Phillips. The Rams, or sorry, Wade Phillips' team's defenses, 7-0 in Bum Phillips' dedication games. He is dedicating the Super Bowl to Bum Phillips... I don't know how you can bet against the Rams now. It's a dad game.

Todd Gurley will fade in the second half of the Super Bowl due to his knee injury

I think you're going to see one of those situations where Todd Gurley, awesome in the first half, fades in the second because his knee or whatever's going on... I think the adrenaline maybe a couple shots whatever he comes out hot and then when you need him in the fourth quarter it either is C.J. Anderson in his thick ass booty or the rams are in trouble.

The Patriots are going to kill the Rams in the Super Bowl

I think Pat's going to kill him. I know we love Jared on the show. Good friend of the program. But the fact that he is, like, listening to all our episodes... it seems like he's not, like, as focused. McVay is going to get beaten by Belichick in some way, shape, or form at some point during the game.

Official Score Prediction: Rams 24, Patriots 20

My official pick is 24 to 20... Rams 24, Patriots 20.

The Knicks traded Porzingis for cap space they will definitely fail to use

The Knicks traded Kristaps to the Mavs... Basically, a cap space move... they are now going to try to go all in on Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, name any free agent, and the Knicks will be rumored to get them. And they won't get them because James Dolan is still the owner.

Tony Romo will be the Cowboys head coach in 2020

I did hear, though, that the Cowboys aren't going to extend [Jason] Garrett. So he's going to be a lame duck next year. You know what that means. Coach Romo. Coach Romo in 2020.

Tom Brady will play for 2 to 3 more years

I think, you know, if you asked me last year, I could see forward at one year... I think it's a kumbaya period where Bill's happy, Tom's happy... That fucker's having fun, and I think he wants to continue to have fun. So two to three years.

The Brooklyn Nets are improved and will make the playoffs

An okay team, but last year they had a few issues, is the Brooklyn Nets. I think they've improved a lot this year. And if they keep doing well, they should be able to make the playoffs.

Colin Kaepernick will get Baseball Hall of Fame votes

Colin Kaepernick hasn't been offered a job in baseball... As a contributor to the game, I think he would get Hall of Fame [votes].