Takes

If I were Washington State, I would boycott College GameDay to protest conference realignment

If I was Washington State, I would boycott college game day. I would not have a flag in the background. Silent protest. Get more eyes on the issue right there. Probably won't accomplish anything, but we'll send a message loud and clear.

Baseball should allow mutual combat fighting like hockey

I like seeing guys square up. This needs to happen in baseball. It was awesome. It should be like in hockey, it should be like in lacrosse—if two guys engage in mutual combat, I love the umpires stepping back... let the boys swing.

Nate Diaz actually won the fight against Jake Paul because he out-trolled him

I actually think Nate Diaz won this fight. Because Nate Diaz... somehow managed to become the king troll in that match. He out-trolled Jake Paul in a boxing match. Jake Paul was like taking it very seriously... but Nate Diaz is like, 'dude, I got you mad. Look how mad you are.'

Anyone who wears glasses is a dork

Glasses can look cool, but if you said to anyone, would you rather wear glasses or not? Everyone's picking not. Take four eyes, dude, you're a dork. Like that's just a fact. You're a dork.

Aaron Rodgers looks happier in New York than I've ever seen him

Aaron Rodgers looking as happy as I've ever seen him in his entire life. I'm so happy he's found a new home. The pre-game rundown of what Aaron Rodgers has been doing since his time in New York was hilarious. Yes. I don't know if you heard it, but they were like, he's been going to Broadway shows every week.

New Urban Meyer Jaguars stories will never run out

I hope we just never run out. Like every year it should just be, it's basically a time capsule. We should just open it up every year and be like, what's the new Urban Meyer anecdote from his less than one year in Jacksonville?

Jim Irsay is spending $20M to fly an orca for positive PR during the Jonathan Taylor drama

I just love Jim Irsay being like, I, I'm getting so much shit this week. I, my name's being dragged through the mud about the Jonathan Taylor situation. I need some positive press. Oh, I know what I'll do. I'll spend $20M to fly a whale across the country.

Notre Dame is the only winner in the current conference realignment mess

Do you know who actually coming out looking pretty good in all of this conference realignment? I never thought I'd say this. Notre Dame. They stay with their tradition. They're committed to being independent. They make all the money and they don't have to worry about it.

Dan Campbell is as smart as anyone I've ever been around in football

I've told people a million times, he looks like a meathead. He's big strong dude. He talks like he does, but he's as smart as anyone I've been around. It's some the art of war shit. Like, make them, make your opponent believe that you're unprepared and then he kind of likes it.

Beating a video game is something that is only fun once

Beating a video game. Once you [beat it], you can't go back and beat another video... like yes you can, [but] it's not as fun. If you beat Goldeneye and you go back and you know all the secrets and stuff, it does not have that same allure. The first time you beat Goldeneye, you think that you are God.

Getting married is definitely more fun the first time

Getting married. It's definitely more fun the first time. ...When I intend to do it, I, I'll only do it once.

Throwing a house party in high school is only fun the first time

Throwing a house party in high school. When parents aren't there. It's fun the first time you might get away with it. You might not, but you still had that one time. But then you can't really do it again. Or if you do it again, it gets out of hand. Your first one's a banger people, the bar's gonna be so high for the future ones that like you can only go downhill.

All humans are animals, and you should look for the animal within you

Love you guys. All humans are animals. If you're ever feeling down, look for the animal within you.

The Mets will not contend for a decade

I also have a report from someone inside the Mets organization who contacted me and said... I'll never see a Mets playoff game won't contend for, for a decade.

Marijuana needs to be exactly half as strong as it is right now

The nerfing of the weed is going around right now... Which I actually think is wonderful. Yeah. I think it's, that's what weed needs to be. It needs to be exactly half as strong as it is right now. So you can still smoke it and do stuff.

I should be one of the strongest, if not the strongest, quarterback in Madden

Strength... I should be one of the, if not the strongest, quarterback [in Madden] because I'm so, so strong. But they had me a little weaker, you know.

Losing sometimes helps more than winning does

The thing is, sometimes like a loss actually helps you. Yeah. Like, it, it refocus you. It's like, all right, we should not have, like what did we do during that week that caused us to lose that game? Like, why did we play off? Why, what caused things to go awry? Like, so sometimes those losses help more than wins do.

Wrestlers have a mindset where they feel they can kick anyone's ass

If you're a wrestler, you have that and you wrestle for, you know, a number of years, you develop that mindset of, you know, you feel you could kick anybody's ass. It's in a respectful it's a respectful mindset. Like, you don't use it unless you have to, but it's always In your mind of it's there.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT of basketball, shoes, and coolness

And it's Michael Jordan. Easy. Okay. Easy pick. Mike, mj, the goat. He's the goat in basketball. He's the goat in shoes. He's the goat in coolness. He's the goat.

LeBron James is on the Mt. Rushmore of GOATs

We're going with LeBron James... I like our list. It's a team effort. I value, I value my teammates picks.

My broadcast partner Kirk Triplett is not a nice person when the cameras are rolling

He [Kirk Triplett] is just not a nice person when the cameras are rolling. But I don't think that's any earth shattering news. Like he would admit that too. That's just who He is. And I've accepted that. But I'm proud of myself for not letting him walk all over me.

'The Prestige' is one of the best movies of all time

Prestige is one of the best movies of all time. ... It's a phenomenal [movie]. ... Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman are rival magicians. Great twist, great turns, great female cast. ... That's not being coy. That's just like, it's a phenomenal [movie].

The NFL's throwback jerseys (Oilers, Eagles Kelly Green, Seahawks) should be their permanent uniforms

The Oilers, they couldn't even announce them, right? ... They were coming back. The Oilers and the Kelly Green Eagles jerseys. Fuck throwbacks. Those should be the jerseys. ... And even the Seahawks, the Seahawks throwbacks should just be their jerseys.

Aliens likely live at the bottom of the ocean

I think the aliens are from Earth, bro. ... I think they're from the bottom of the Ocean. ... The earth is really large and we haven't really investigated most of the oceans.

John Ross was too fast for football

John Ross... he retired. ... Too fast for football. ... I actually think that like this guy wasn't that fast when you made it like the average speed. He was just super fast. Straight line. ... He was a gadget guy that just made him run really fast in a straight line and that that was the only thing he could do.

Success early in the NFL season depends on making the fewest mistakes, not the most plays

I always believe early in the season, it's not the teams that make the most plays. It's the one that make the least amount of mistakes early in the year. And as you go, then it becomes the teams that make more plays.

55 degrees is the ideal sleeping temperature

On the road. If, if I can get it. I mean, normally the lowest you can get is 55. Right. In a hotel. Right. But I got it at 55. ... man, if I could, I would [go into the forties].

Football is the greatest sport you can possibly play

Don't ever disrespect this game because it is, in my opinion, it's the greatest sport that you can possibly play, man. ... It's a team sport, man. You, there's blood, there's sweat, there's tears. ... Everybody's gotta be going the same way to have success. ... We owe it as players, coaches, anybody that's associated with to give it everything you've got. 'cause it is an unbelievable game.

I officially have zero ill-will toward Aaron Rodgers and think he's a great teammate now that he took a pay cut

Aaron Rodgers. What a guy. Probably the greatest guy ever. I'm so happy that I've never said anything bad about Aaron Rodgers. He took a $35 million pay cut for the Jets, basically a big fuck you to the Packers. I think I officially have like no ill will towards Aaron Rodgers anymore. This one cemented it for me.

Sean Payton is officially back to his old tricks of using bizarre motivational videos

Sean Payton is officially a hundred percent back. All the headlines are gonna be about how he said that [Nathaniel] Hackett did the worst job of coaching in the history of the NFL... To me, that was not the best part of the story. He is up to his old tricks. Sean Payton basically is a film director. He has his assistant Paul Kelly queue up a nature documentary that showed baby iguanas under attack from running snakes immediately after they hatched... he wanted to hammer home a point to his players of you have to hit the ground running.

I am officially a Northwestern fan solely to spite Darren Rovell

I think I'm officially gonna be a Northwestern fan. That's gonna be my Big 10 school. But I just wanna be a Northwestern fan to be, to annoy Darren Rovell... I wanna be more of a Northwestern fan than Darren Rovell is. I'll support you. I will, I will a hundred percent root for you. I'll bet on you. I'll watch all your games. But just know that I'm also trying to piss off Darren Rovell as much as I can.

Saquon Barkley and Josh Jacobs should have made their contract situations uncomfortable for the teams much earlier

Only thing I told [Josh Jacobs] was, I guess the issue I had was that they should have made a bigger chaos about it... you need to go, listen, ain't no friends, we ain't, there ain't no homies, the owner, you not my friend right now. I need to get my money. And it just started soon as season was over he should have made a big deal about it. Either I wanna be here, I wanna let the fans know I wanna be here, but they're not paying me no money and if they can't trade me, I wanna be traded. You gotta make it uncomfortable for these people.

My footwork is the best of any running back I've ever trained with

I've trained with like a lot of great running backs, trained with a lot of average running backs. And I always would be confident that no matter who I'm training with... I knew my footwork would be better than everybody's. That was just like my thing. I pride myself on snow, sleet, whatever it is, rain, not slipping, being able to run on any surface.

Andy Reid is the best coach because he adapts to the new culture and players

Andy Reid is the best... I got him at when I was 20 years old and he was wearing the old Pony sneakers. When I got with the Chiefs in 2019, this guy had on Air Force Ones. He's adapting to the new culture. How can I be a great coach if I can't understand my players? Chip Kelly couldn't read the room... Andy Reid always said, 'Hey listen guys, I want y'all let your personality show every game.'

Tim Tebow was a bad pro quarterback

Tebow's bad, bad man. Like you gotta be a desperate team to get him. You really believe because Skip [Bayless] is... if you take Tebow, it's like you just a great guy or you just love Jesus Christ because other playing ain't the issue. He just, I don't know. He's not the good, he's not the best. I'm trying to be nice.

Julian Edelman is not a Hall of Famer

I don't think he's a Hall of Famer. I think he's a hell of a player though... Hall of Fame is like, you know, it's like the best of the best.

I am a Hall of Famer

I got 15,000 [all purpose] yards. I'm an all-decade running back. I got some Pro Bowls, got some All-Pros. You look at my work collectively... I got a rushing title to go along with that. I mean, I think, yeah, I think I'm a Hall of Fame guy. If I were to compare myself to them [already in], it's like, why not?

Jason Peters is the best player I ever played with

This dude named Jason Peters. He's an offensive lineman. Beast. Absolute monster... DeMarcus Ware would yell at me if I would go chip block for him. Shady, get your little west away from here. He would block one-on-one. So he's probably my best player I ever played with. I think the second I had to give it to either DeSean Jackson or Travis Kelce.

Showering in the morning is mandatory to feel accomplished

I don't understand for the life of me, anyone who doesn't shower in the morning. You gotta shower in the morning right before you go to work 'cause it makes you feel accomplished... I would feel like just dooo going to work without showering first.

Unsubscribing from spam emails is an S-tier easy task

Unsubscribing to spam emails. One of my favorite easy tasks. That just makes you feel awesome when you like have your entire email box... You feel like you conquered the world. Subset of this is when you find the email where they make the unsubscribe hidden and then when you find it, you're like, yes, got it! You fuckers tried to get me.

Bill Belichick is the best head coach in the NFL to lead a team right now

Bill Belichick [is the first pick]. I was taking it no matter what Hank said. I'm a neutral journalist, [picking] the best of the 32.

Sean McVay is a top-three coach who only struggled recently because the Rams went all in

If you told every team in the NFL, you can get Sean McVay your head coach next year. There's like, I think there's only two teams that wouldn't take him. He is that good. I feel like they're gonna be slept on this year just 'cause of how bad they were last year... they were going all in and trading all their future picks. And then we're like, why do the Rams suck now? Well, because they gave us no opportunity for a window of discussion.

John Harbaugh is a top-tier coach who would improve almost every team in the NFL immediately

John Harbaugh could step into any situation in the league except for maybe three and improve it. He's got a track record now... he's reinvented himself a couple times. And now he's really good at going with what his best players do best.

Mike McDaniel is the best up-and-coming coach in the league over Kyle Shanahan

Mike McDaniel's probably the best up and coming coach in the league. Like if you're in a futures franchise draft, Mike McDaniel's probably going first [over Kyle Shanahan].

Getting the Lions to the precipice of the playoffs is equivalent to an NFC Championship for any other team

I'll take Dan Campbell. I think that coaching the lions is, everything's on a curve. So if you get the lions on the precipice of, of the playoffs, that's essentially like the NFC Championship game.

The USWNT's 3-0 victory over Vietnam was the worst three-goal victory I have ever seen

I watched the second half of the Vietnam game. That was bad. That was the worst three goal victory I've ever seen.

SEC football fans are more intimidating than English golf fans

They were saying short stuff, 'you're gonna choke', 'you don't have the stones for this', 'f you'. But I'm an SEC football fan. It's like, bro, y'all are killing me. There's nothing compared to Death Valley. Go to LSU on a Saturday night. You'll hear way worse.

Rory McIlroy is the most talented driver of the golf ball in history

I've always said [Rory McIlroy] is probably the, I mean, at least in our generation, He is the most talented driver of the golf ball that maybe he's ever lived. He's incredible. He really is.

Real Georgia fans are never cocky because they have too much scar tissue from past heartbreaks

I don't think any real Georgia fan feels [cocky]. I think there's enough scar tissue there where you're like, ah. They're like, when is the curtain gonna get ripped back? Like, when is the, when's your heart gonna get ripped out again?

You do not want to mess with the United States Women's National Soccer Team

You do not want to fuck with the United States Women's National Soccer team. They're going for three straight women's world cups right now. And you don't wanna screw with them. They're dominant.