The Browns defense will lead the league in swag this season

A stat that we'll have to keep our eye on this upcoming season. Jim Schwartz from the Browns said that their defense may not lead the league in points against, but they will lead it in swag. Okay. So we're gonna have to keep a running tally on whether or not the Browns are actually leading the league in swag.

Aaron Rodgers looks happier in New York than I've ever seen him

Aaron Rodgers looking as happy as I've ever seen him in his entire life. I'm so happy he's found a new home. The pre-game rundown of what Aaron Rodgers has been doing since his time in New York was hilarious. Yes. I don't know if you heard it, but they were like, he's been going to Broadway shows every week.

New Urban Meyer Jaguars stories will never run out

I hope we just never run out. Like every year it should just be, it's basically a time capsule. We should just open it up every year and be like, what's the new Urban Meyer anecdote from his less than one year in Jacksonville?

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.