Takes

Alabama would beat Notre Dame by 30 points

I don't think there's going to be much debate, guys, at the end of the weekend... which I think [Alabama] would beat Notre Dame by 30 points.

NASA's Mars Insight lander will find 'evidence of water' that we already knew about

They're going to maybe find traces of what might have been water a billion years ago. But the headlines are going to say evidence of water on Mars, which we already have.

The Denver Broncos will finish the season 9-7

They're going to go 9-7. I'm going to keep it [the Done Chain] on there.

The Jimmy Butler experiment with the 76ers will be a success

Jimmy Butler hit another game winner from the same exact spot. Yes, he did. So it turns out maybe that experiment is going to turn out good for this.

Oklahoma will make the College Football Playoff over Ohio State

Oklahoma will go in over Ohio State. Especially because you have... if they beat Texas in the Big 12 championship game, their loss to Texas basically doesn't count anymore.

Mitchell Trubisky belongs in the NFL and is the best quarterback in the NFC North

Trubisky... he's proven that he belongs... I think they're going to win the division. I think they're the best team in the division.

Quentin Nelson is a future Hall of Famer

When I'm talking to you guys, and we're talking a decade from now, Quentin Nelson will have been in like nine Pro Bowls and All-Pro like eight times. Safe to stick in this draft. You might as well put a damn mustard-colored jacket on his ass right now.

Alabama will win the 2018 College Football National Championship

I would think Alabama, unless they piss down their leg, I would assume they're going to win it... Nick Saban's never had a team where the quarterback's the best player... their quarterback's the best player in the country [Tua Tagovailoa].

The Patriots and Saints will meet in the Super Bowl

I picked the Patriots and the Saints in August. And I'm sticking with it. I think the Saints are the best team now... I'm going to stick with the Patriots, and I'm going to stick with the Saints in the Super Bowl.

I'm taking the Bears -3.5 against the Lions on Thanksgiving

Right now the Bears are favored by 3.5 points. I like the Bears. The defense looks legit... I would take them by 10.

I'm taking the Redskins +7.5 against the Cowboys on Thanksgiving

Listen, 7.5 is a lot to give to Colt McCoy. Colt McCoy, he's a cowboy killer... I'm going to take the Redskins.

I'm taking the under in the Redskins-Cowboys Thanksgiving game

I think the under's the way to go here. 40 and a half? Yeah, I feel like both these teams are going to struggle often. They both have good defenses.

I'm guaranteeing Duke wins the national championship

I'm guaranteeing Duke wins. [Big Cat] is guaranteeing Duke wins.

James Wiseman is going to sign with Memphis

He's going to sign with Memphis on Tuesday... He's going to sign with Memphis.

I'm going to knock out Tito Ortiz in the first round

I actually am thinking I'm going to knock him out in the first round... I don't expect to make that [past] the first round.

The 2018 Super Bowl will be the Texans vs the Bears

I see a Super Bowl between the Texans and the Bears. And that would be great content... if you lose and you're a Bears fan and you have to cut your pinky off, it's not that big of an add-on to the crushing defeat.

The Office is definitely coming back

My Who's Back of the Week is The Office... Steve Carell hosted SNL. It was a great, hilarious SNL... they said it's not coming back. But it's definitely one of those things where they're just getting people used to talking about it. So when it comes back, they're excited.

No one will own cars in 15 years because of automation

He [CEO of Mercedes-Benz] says in 15 years that we're not going to own cars anymore. They're all going to be electric vehicles... The vehicle will pull up in front of your house... those changes are going to change the entire world. [Auto insurance and repair industries will disappear].

Todd Bowles will get fired

I'm doing some PFT premonitions here... Here's what's going to happen. Todd Bowles is going to get fired. No, that's not it. That was in the front of my neck. That was my Adam's apple.

The NFC Wild Card round will feature Kirk Cousins vs. the Redskins

My actual premonition, first round of the playoffs, is going to be Kirk Cousins' revenge game against the W-Word Redskins. I'm saying the NFC Wild Card... Vikings are going to win the Wild Card. Oh, and the Redskins are going to win the East.

The Cowboys-Falcons loser is eliminated from the playoffs

Loser leaves town... Cowboys-Falcons. That's the game. The loser of that game will officially be eliminated, similar to the Seahawks-Packers game.

Bol Bol will get injured this season because he is too tall

My sit-up is Bol Bol. This guy is way too fucking tall. There's no way he makes it this whole season without getting hurt... he wears short shorts, so it makes him look even taller.

The Rams will have 'super strength' by training at high altitude before returning to sea level

The LA Rams went to Colorado Springs to practice in altitude all week... Will they have super strength by going back down to sea level? Okay, so yes. I was going to say, if there's any other answer, then yes, you're wrong.

Kevin Durant is definitely leaving the Warriors in free agency

The Warriors are imploding and Kevin Durant is definitely leaving after this season in free agency and this is in no way an overreaction.

Steph Curry might leave the Warriors for the Lakers

Aisha Curry recently followed Vanessa Bryant on Instagram. So what if Steph was the one to leave the Warriors, go to the Lakers, and leaves KD to deal with Draymond and all the trash in Golden State?

Les Miles will be the next head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks

As first reported on Pardon My Take, stolen from message boards online. Les Miles will be the next head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks.

The Browns will win a Super Bowl in the 21st century

This is the portion of the interview where we let you predict when the Browns will win the Super Bowl. 2020? In the 21st century, yeah. ... Okay, so you are saying that you will win a Super Bowl with the Browns. Just maybe not the statue.

Hue Jackson will try to get everyone on the Bengals staff fired to take the head coach job

Hugh Jackson is brought in with a very suspect and vague title, which basically means he's going to ingratiate himself with first Marvin Lewis, then the owner, Mike Brown? Yeah, Mike Brown, and then get everyone fired so he can take the job.

The NFC East is the Redskins' division to lose

I think it's time to say this is the Redskins' division. I thought the Eagles would win tonight and it would be a race, but the Eagles having that showing, they have to now basically run the table.

The Bears can win a playoff game if they beat the Vikings on Sunday Night

The Sunday night football game against the Vikings is going to be the biggest test where it's like, okay, can they at home beat a really good team? And then I will say to myself, this team can win a playoff game.

Jimmer Fredette will get another shot in the NBA

The Mormon Megalodon dropped 75 in China... He'll get another shot. I don't know about that. We'll see.

Notre Dame is the most likely top-four team to miss the CFB Playoff

[Predict one of the four teams not making it] Notre Dame. Even over Michigan? Yeah. Because Michigan's got to play Ohio State. I think if you look at Notre Dame, I don't think any of us are going to be surprised if they lose to Syracuse next weekend.

John Harbaugh will be the Ravens' coach for another year

I think they finish strong, and I think Harbaugh is going to be the coach there for another year... I would put money on Harbaugh being there for a while.

Dez Bryant will be a massive goal-line threat for the Saints

Dez Bryant in Sean Payton's offense is going to be like a goal line threat. He's going to be open because they've got to cover everyone else. And he's going to put up numbers.

The Redskins will win the NFC East

Now I want to point out that Mike Tanyer... ran a simulation of the rest of the season... And the R-Words still won the division. So don't jump the gun on the Eagles just yet. Now I'm 100% back in on the R-Words train after learning about the simulation.

Julio Jones will score three touchdowns against the Browns

Julio Jones. The floodgates are open. He scored a touchdown last week. He's going to score three this week. Three touchdowns against the Cleveland Browns. Start him, start him, start him.

Duke is guaranteed to win the national title this year

Duke is going to win the national title. Mark this down. Write this down. Post it. We'll replay this in the spring. Duke is going to win the national title. Guaranteed. Big Cat guarantee. There's nothing that will stop him.

Jamal Murray will never score 50 points again after his disrespectful three-point attempt

The basketball gods are frowning on Jamal Murray... And now the basketball gods are thundering down upon Jamal Murray. He's not going to score 50 points ever this year because he tried that Mickey Mouse stunt.

Clemson is the only team with a chance to beat Alabama this year

The only team I can see maybe beating Alabama is possibly Clemson. But I only say that... because I'm an idiot, and I know Clemson and Alabama haven't played any common opponents, I don't think.

Alabama will finish 2018 undefeated and blow everyone out

Everyone in their record books when Alabama finishes an undefeated season and shit kicks everyone. And we'll be like, wait, you could get Alabama at minus 14 in a game in 2018? And you'd be like, that was really stupid. Why didn't we put a billion dollars on it?

The Redskins will win the NFC East because the rest of the division sucks

Redskins NFC [East winners] since like week two... and it's not because I think that they're that good of a team. I think the division sucks.

The Eagles will eventually shake off their Super Bowl hangover and wake up

I just think the Eagles are going to come on because that's just, they feel get over their Super Bowl hangover. They're going to get over it. They're going to finally wake up.

LeBron James' vote of confidence for Luke Walton is a kiss of death

LeBron getting coaches fired... So he gave Luke Walton a vote of confidence. So you know what that means... Suspect kiss of death. ... You know what that means when LeBron says, no, I like Luke Walton. Yeah, you're done.

Nick Mullens will have a job for life as an NFL backup quarterback

Nick Mullens will have a job for life... he basically will have a Chase Daniel career where he can get paid in a million different stops and never play again and be fine.

I will submit Derrick Lewis in the second or third round

I'm going to submit the guy. Second, third round... I usually like the submission because what leads to the submission is just domination, like just exhaustion.

I only have two fights remaining in my career: Derrick Lewis and Brock Lesnar

I got two fights. I got this fight [Lewis] and then against Lesnar. That's it.

Hugh Jackson will eventually claim he was fired because he refused to fire Todd Haley

I think at some point in the next several months moving forward here, we're going to hear an interview with Hugh Jackson where he says, I was fired because I wouldn't fire Todd Haley. Yes, yes. That's the next thing. I stood by my guys.

Trading for Demaryius Thomas makes the Texans a viable playoff contender

I think this actually makes the Texans a viable playoff contender. Well, okay. Three years ago. I want to caveat it by saying everything that I know about Demaryius Thomas, I stopped learning new things about him after the Super Bowl when they won.

Urban Meyer will coach the Packers and Mike McCarthy will coach the Browns

The tip that I got, I think I said it last week, that the dominoes have started to fall. Hugh Jackson gets fired. Urban Meyer goes to coach the Packers. Mike McCarthy gets fired, coaches the Browns because of John Dorsey. And then Bob Stoops comes and coaches Ohio State.

Nebraska will upset Ohio State

Nebraska's been really bad this week. They're fixing for a big upset. If they lost this game, Urban Meyer's out. I think they're going to lose. I think he's out.