Takes

London is the next city to get an NFL franchise.

I guess this puts London as next city up, right? Yeah, because the NFL got rid of its two scary boogeymen out there, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, for when owners wanted to wring a little bit more tax money out of their locale. So now it's like, hey, if you don't pony up, guess what? Jags are moving to London.

The Celtics can beat the Cavaliers in a seven-game series with home-court advantage.

Do you think the Celtics can beat the Cavs in a seven-game series? Yes. With home advantage? Yes.

If North Carolina plays well, they will win the National Championship

I just think Carolina's got too many weapons. If Carolina plays well, they win. For them to lose, they're going to have to play less than well, less than their best.

Gonzaga will beat South Carolina in the Final Four because of their scoring depth

I favor Gonzaga because they've got so many more scorers and shooters. You know, South Carolina's not been a great offensive team all year... otherwise, I like Gonzaga to win the game.

Coach K will retire in four or five years

My guess is like four years or so, four or five, but you never know... Four to five years. I don't know, but that's my guess.

It is a near certainty that college players will eventually boycott a game

I do think as the players, as we go forward, the players are getting more sort of socially aware and their awareness of their power in the marketplace is becoming greater. I think we'll see at some point somebody will boycott. I don't know when it's going to come, but I think it's a near certainty it's going to happen.

Bill Self and John Calipari having sons on their teams will result in a great Final Four storyline

So I guess we're tracking towards Bill Self's son, John Calipari's son, Final Four... That'll be wonderful. Good storyline.

Jeff Fisher will get a position with the NFL league office within six months

If you think that Jeff Fisher doesn't get a position with league office in the next six months, then you don't know your football. He's a lifer. He's going to die inside the NFL's office.

Tournament games will be lower-scoring (unders) this weekend as teams tighten up

I think it'll tighten up. I think when teams tighten up, when more is on the line, normally the under is prevalent.

South Carolina will upset Baylor in the Sweet 16

I think South Carolina is real. I think they're not a fluke. I think they're on a mission... I think that I would call for an upset here. I think South Carolina is the bet here.

UCLA will defeat Kentucky in the Sweet 16

I see UCLA somehow, someway, getting over the hump here and eliminating Kentucky. I would like UCLA.

Florida will beat Wisconsin in the Sweet 16

I'm going to lay the number with Florida. I think Florida's going to prevail here.

The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year

I would like to see you win the Cup. I have them [Capitals] winning the Cup this year.

Ryan Tannehill will put it all together this year

But this is the year he's [Ryan Tannehill] going to put it all together. We got you around. But as long as number 12 is in that division, it's going to be really hard.

Javi Baez is going to get a fastball in the ear hole for his showboating

I want to put one in Javi by his ear hole... and you better believe that he's going to get one in his ear hole soon. You see him he was like celebrating as he was tagging the other day... You don't go around another man's tag... Tebow's never been to—say what you want about Tim Tebow but he wouldn't showboat when he was getting to third base for the first time.

Coach K will retire this offseason

Coach K's 70. Coach K's going to retire. Oh, this offseason. That's the new rumor. This is the year.

Wisconsin will lose in heartbreaking fashion on a buzzer-beater

Wisconsin is going to lose in heartbreaking fashion. That's going to be fun... South Carolina will probably win on a buzzer beater right in my face. I'll have front row seats.

Michigan will win the national championship

I got them [Michigan] winning national championship. I don't know if McAfee kept it... But I got them winning national championship because of all that stuff.

Kansas is the best team left in the field besides Michigan

If I'm going to pick one team, I'm going to say what I saw today. I'll pick Kansas. I thought they were really good. I think they did. And that kid Josh Jackson, man, he's really good.

Steve Alford will be the next coach at Indiana

I think Alford's going to be the coach, but they'll probably talk to him [Marshall], probably. I would think.

Indiana will fly a plane full of money to Boston to sit down with Brad Stevens

I've always said you just fill a plane full of money and you just fly it to Boston and, you know, Brad, here you go, man. Let's figure this out together... I think, yeah, I do. I think they're going to talk to him.

Brad Stevens is definitely not going to the Indiana job

Maybe going back to Indiana. Dream job? I'm so excited for it because he's not going to go to Indiana. Anyone with a brain knows that. But it's going to get written. It's going to get some buzz.

Malcolm Butler will be traded to the Saints for the 32nd overall pick

Pardon My Take broke some news. And the news hasn't actually happened yet. The news was that Malcolm Butler is being dealt to the Saints for the 32nd overall pick. I stand by our story. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean that it's not going to. So when it happens tomorrow, just make sure when Schefter starts tweeting about it, you let him know this is broken by Pardon My Take 24 hours ago.

SMU is very good and could go to the Sweet 16, Elite Eight, or even the Final Four

I got two picks for tomorrow for you. URI, Round of Pick'em, and SMU. I love SMU. I've loved SMU all year. I think they're a very good team. I think they could go to the Elite Eight or maybe Sweet 16, or Final Four.

I have Wisconsin in the Final Four

I also want to mention that I have Wisconsin in the Final Four. Like I said, unbiased journalism. Here is where it is at.

Nick and Vanessa from The Bachelor are going to last

This is 2016 and this is how the millennials find love. I think they're going to last. I would like to see the Fantasy Suite get its own spinoff reality show.

Oklahoma State will beat Michigan

I like how the plane crash... negates like everything else we know about Michigan. This has become the story... Michigan beat some shitty Big Ten teams to win the tournament... and now we're going to pretend like they're actually a good team. I think Oklahoma State's going to win that game.

Johnny Manziel is officially back and committed to a comeback after getting engaged

My who's back of the week is Johnny Football... Comeback season. He just got engaged to show that he's committed and he's making his comeback. So it seems like he's got everything going for him heading forward.

We will at least triple our money betting on college basketball games in Las Vegas

Follow us tomorrow while we try to get rich... We're going to double at least, I'm going to say triple. Triple.

ESPN on-air personalities are 'snowflakes' on the hot seat due to massive impending cuts

My hot seat is all the snowflake on-air personalities at ESPN. Big time cuts coming soon.

The Number 37 car will win the NASCAR race in Las Vegas this Sunday

We have a Natty Light Barstool race car in the Cobalt 400 on Sunday. We're going to be live there... Number 37 car. He's going to win. I feel good about it. I'm going to guarantee it for him. ... We personally guarantee number 37 car is going to win on Sunday.

Kansas is the most consistent team in college basketball and my pick to win the tournament

I'm saying Kansas. See, I think Kansas is the most consistent team in the country. But if they get matched up against Purdue, I'll probably take Purdue in that ballgame. Because they have no inside presence.

Gonzaga will fail to reach the Final Four this year

Now I may lose a bet to Greenberg because I had a bet with Seth Greenberg before that they [Gonzaga] don't get the Final Four.

Kevin Durant will never be 100% for the rest of the season

I'm banking on Kevin Durant never being 100% for the rest of the year. Do you think the Warriors are now vulnerable, or is that just wishful thinking from someone who's a Warrior hater?

DeMarcus Cousins will fail in New Orleans because he blames others for his problems

It does feel like he's the type of guy that blames everyone else for his problems because the refs are on him and his teammates stink... It feels like it's not going to work in New Orleans. It feels like he's that type of guy who's like, I'm so talented and the world kind of owes me something.

The Chicago Bulls will beat the Warriors tonight on TNT and then lose to a bad team

They're going to beat the Warriors tonight. It's a home game on TNT on a Thursday night. The Bulls will beat the Warriors, and I will say the Bulls are back... and then they lose to some shitty-ass team.

It is officially the Washington Capitals' year to win the Stanley Cup

It is Wednesday, March 1st, and it is the Caps year... I'm even more irrationally confident now [after the Kevin Shattenkirk trade].

Adrian Peterson's NFL career is basically over

I think Adrian Peterson's career is... it's pretty much a career for him... he hitting his kid with a switch... he doesn't catch the ball that often. He doesn't run the ball out of shotgun. This isn't the NFL for him.

John Calipari will stay at Kentucky until he retires, then go into broadcasting or politics

I actually think he'll retire here and then he'll go into broadcasting. Or he talks about privately running for Senate. And I know that seems crazy, but I could totally see him in four years running against Mitch McConnell.

John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins will eventually play together in the NBA

I actually think there's a decent – I think [John Wall] and [DeMarcus Cousins] will play together before they're done. They've been saying that for years.

Hidden Figures is my lock for Best Picture at the Oscars

Hidden figures... That's what my money's on. Very professionally produced.

Baker Mayfield will get NFL starts solely because of his name

I'm going to put a little flyer on Baker Mayfield. You guys know I'm a big name guy. All-time name. That name is going to get him some starts in the NFL. It's going to get him some places. People are going to take some shots with Baker Mayfield solely because of his name and then be like, ooh, maybe he's not that good.

The Celtics will lose in the second round because they shoot too many threes and miss

I mean, I would have liked Butler or Paul George... They're rumored to get everyone, and they get no one... They're going to lose in the second round because they're going to shoot a million threes and miss.

Gonzaga will not lose another game before the NCAA tournament

No, they're not going to lose. They're not going to lose again. People are waiting to shit on Gonzaga so hard. Right. You know what? This is Gonzaga's year.

The Warriors vs. Pelicans first-round series will be lame because Draymond Green will just punch Boogie Cousins in the dick

So what you're going end up seeing here is the Warriors taking on the Pelicans in the first round... I'm here to tell you that it's not [going to be awesome]. It's going to be lame. Draymond Green, all he does is punch people in the dick, and getting punched in the dick is real weakness in [Boogie Cousins'] game.

John Calipari will leave Kentucky for the Pelicans to escape looming NCAA sanctions

He needs to get out of town, needs to go to the NBA... The NCAA sanctions are about to hit Kentucky. That's a fact. I'm just calling that right now. So he needs to get out of town, needs to go to the NBA... Be a perfect fit for the Pelicans. You've got two of his best players from college that are playing there.

Clay Travis will definitely use WNBA sexuality statistics to argue straight people are being persecuted

I'm guaranteeing that Clay Travis—I'm going to call my shot here. Clay Travis is going to use these statistics for a future column talking about how straight people are persecuted. Because, hey, did you hear? 98% of the WNBA is gay.

Tiger Woods will never win another major

Tiger's never coming back... I would love to see him win a major, but I don't think it's going to happen.

Tony Romo will be the quarterback for the Houston Texans next season

I'm going to say right now I think [Tony Romo] is going to the Texans.

Tony Romo will join the Denver Broncos

I'm going to go with the Broncos.