Takes

Victor Wembanyama will kill everyone next season after training as a monk

I do feel like this is gonna be [Wembanyama] fucks everybody up next season because he's Yeah. He's figured out like secret ancient martial arts.

The Stanley Cup Final will go seven games

This one I I said before the series seven games no matter what. Done deal. And now, I mean, how do you see this not going seven? It's, it's just, it's incredible and I want it to go seven.

The Oilers are winning the Stanley Cup because I finally won a golf tournament.

Win a tournament leading. And that's why when we won it, I said the Oilers are winning the Cup. I just won something. I never win anything. Never.

The winner of the 2025 US Open at Oakmont will be over par

I think based on what I've been reading and seeing on Twitter, like we might have like a a over par winner... I want that. I love that about the US Open.

Bill Belichick will eventually coach the Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I feel like Belichick has been eyeballing the bucks... The Buccaneers are willing to do kooky things if they think it's gonna make them better... It would make sense if you can hand him a talented team in a weak division where he could cobble together enough wins to get to the playoffs.

The Vikings will eventually start JJ McCarthy this season after he develops

I do agree with the approach of giving JJ McCarthy a chance to fully develop... I like the idea though, of giving McCarthy his opportunity to reach his ceiling.

The Seattle Seahawks will be the next NFL team sold

I think it'll be the Seahawks. One of these owners is eventually gonna wake up and say, shit, I'll take 10, 11, $12 billion.

I bet on Chet Holmgren to go over 27.5 points, rebounds, and assists in Game 1 of the NBA Finals.

Big Cat has Chet over 27.5 points. Rebounds assist... I think it's gonna be a big Chet series.

Kevin Durant might be traded by the Suns this offseason.

I don't know, I feel like the seeds have been planted... I thought last year he was, there was a lot of stuff right. A lot of stuff around the draft. There was like rumors about Houston... I feel like the seeds have been planted.

The Oklahoma City Thunder defense will be too suffocating for the Indiana Pacers to handle.

I just can't get over the fact that the Thunder's defense is so fucking suffocating and they have so many guys that they can throw at you and just like, even I know regular season doesn't matter. Like [Dort] is gonna make Halliburton work his ass off.

The 2025 Oklahoma City Thunder will be remembered as the worst version of a multi-year championship dynasty.

This is gonna be the worst Thunder team to win a championship because you're gonna get so much better over the course of the next couple seasons with [their draft picks].

The Oklahoma City Thunder will win the NBA Finals in five games.

Thunder in five. I played, I think it was plus six 80 Thunder Games one and two, Pacers Game three, thunder game four and five.

The Florida Panthers will win the Stanley Cup in six games.

I think it's gonna go six. I think they steal one on the road early and take care of business at home and then win it at home. I think winning at home game six would be huge.

Caitlin Clark attending Pacers home games will guarantee the NBA Finals goes to at least six games

Caitlin Clark attends game four. She forced, it's guaranteed to go at least six... the Pacers are seven and oh, and Caitlin Clark is in attendance. Yeah. The Caitlin Clark in playoffs. In effect.

The Oilers will win the Stanley Cup in seven games

I think it's Oilers. I got Oilers in seven. I think it's Oilers.

The Florida Panthers will win the Stanley Cup in five games

I'll go Panthers in five.

The Oilers will win the Stanley Cup based on the historical pattern of rematches

Oilers Islanders. Gretzky lost the first time and then won second year. Crosby loses the first time to the Red Wings, second time comes back and wins. Now McDavid loses to the Panthers the first time. Second time I think I like the Oilers boys. I think it's coming home.

The Carolina Panthers are destined for the 2025 Super Bowl because of the Ohio State/J-Lo divorce prophecy

2024 Ohio State wins the National championship. The Panthers have a losing record. Next year, 2025, the Panthers open up with the Jacksonville Jaguars... Jennifer Lopez files for divorce from Ben Affleck. It seems like the Carolina Panthers gonna be the Super Bowl.

Charlie Woods will win more than five and a half career majors

Charlie Woods over under five and a half career majors... Over, over. Smash. Easy. Smash it easy.

LeBron James will announce that next season is his final year during the NBA Finals

I think there is going to be an announcement... this will be LeBron James last year. And he's gonna make us suffer through an entire year long thing. He might even do it during the NBA finals. I actually wouldn't be shocked if he does it during the NBA finals.

OKC will win the NBA title

If I were to, you know, guess... I'm going with OKC.

The Barstool office ice cream machine will finally be operational by Wednesday

99% chance there will be soft serve... We will be experiencing ice cream before July 4th break. Wednesday is when I want... Wednesday.

The Panthers versus Hurricanes series is the definition of a Gentleman's Sweep

This feels like a gentleman sweep though. I don't think that the hurricanes are gonna come back. I think that the, the Panthers are a much, much, much better team. They've got a couple injuries though. Yep. I do realize that. But I feel like this is the very definition of Gentleman sweep. They get, they get game four and then game five is gonna be all Panthers.

The Oklahoma City Thunder will win their series against the Minnesota Timberwolves in five games.

I want this series to go on more. I think. I'm not rooting for it, but I just think the Thunder are really fucking good. I think Thunder. Yeah. You know what? I think it's gonna be Thunder in five.

Luka Dončić will be in great shape when he returns for the 2025-26 NBA season.

Apparently [Luka Dončić] is back home and he's doing like a local diet and he's using like local people to get in shape. I can only assume that means just like vodka and cigarettes, which is way, way lower carb than like barbecue and beer, which is what I assume he was taking in all the time down in Texas. I choose to believe that Luca's gonna be in great shape when he comes back next [season].

The Thunder, Timberwolves, and Nuggets title windows will stay open through the end of the decade.

SGA is like 26. Jalen Williams is the third season, Chet, this is technically his third season, but he's only played two seasons. I could see these three guys, us talking about these three guys in playoff games like this for the rest of the decade.

The Timberwolves will likely be forced to break up their core roster next season due to the salary cap.

I don't think they can keep this team together. The core, the big piece is they can, but, so Julius Randle's a free agent, Nickeil Alexander-Walker is a free agent, and Naz Reed is a free agent. He has an opt-out... I would be surprised if they were able to re-sign all three guys.

LeBron James will not take a pay cut on his next contract with the Lakers

I do not think it's in the cards that he's taking less money. It's not that necessarily he wants every dime, although he does want every dime. I don't think he believes that free agency is got anybody in it where if he takes less money that the Lakers could go use their mid-level and like have a transformational player. The intention is for him to continue to make all of the max which he has earned.

The 2024 Thunder might be the worst version of the team we see for the next five years

You could make the case that this might be the worst Thunder team that we're gonna see in the next five years. If the thunder can win with this roster, imagine what they're gonna do.

The Florida Panthers will win the Stanley Cup

And then the Panthers are gonna win the cup. I put the Panthers in the thunder category. They just fucking worked the hurricanes again.

Minnesota will win the championship because Anthony Edwards has the 'sauce'

If I had to pick right now, I would say Minnesota Timberwolves win it all. Why right now? It is the aura of [Anthony Edwards]. It's the way that the aura of that young man, the way that it filters into everyone that he's playing with.

The Oklahoma City Thunder will win the NBA title

Today is Wednesday, May 21st and the Oklahoma City Thunder are going to win the NBA title. ... Oklahoma City's defense is very fucking good. They're elite. Yes. They pack the paint so well. They make you take threes. ... I think they're the best team.

The Timberwolves will win two or three games in the series against the Thunder

I actually do think that the wolves are gonna win two, maybe three games [against the Thunder]. I know it doesn't feel like it after what we just watched tonight, but I mean, crazy shit happens in the playoffs. ... it'll even out a little bit, I think.

Mitch Marner will not be back with the Toronto Maple Leafs next season

[Mitch Marner] ain't coming back. ... he just hasn't lived up to what, not only he's being paid, but what the hype is in, in crunch time. ... my theory would be that you bring back [Nylander], you bring back Matthews and you can build around those guys. ... he won't be back. It sucks.

The Dallas Stars will likely ban the 'Glass Banger' fan from the arena for the conference finals

I don't think they're gonna let him [Glass Banger] in the building. ... he just got out [of jail] in the last couple days. ... I think in his own mind [he's the best fan], but he's more of a distraction than a fan. Including rattling all the other people who have had peace and quiet for this last six months.

The Dallas Stars will defeat the Edmonton Oilers in seven games

I picked the Oilers and then Whit said, no, you can't, you're a mush. Stay away from my team. So then I switched my pick to Dallas in seven. ... I'll be heartbroken for either of these teams because Pete DeBoer... has never won a Stanley Cup. ... he's nine and oh in Game sevens in playoff history.

The Florida Panthers will beat the Carolina Hurricanes in five or six games

I think that Florida should win this series in six, if not maybe five games. ... high-end superstar talent also advantage Florida. ... Florida can play any way you want. That's what makes them dogs.

Alex Ovechkin will play one more year in the NHL before finishing his career in the KHL

I think that next year... it's the last year of his contract. ... I wouldn't be shocked if he scores another 30 goals, but if he continues to slow down, it's just hard in today's day and age to keep up... I could see him after next year going back to the KHL and, and playing one more year and, and really having his final Swan song.

The Buffalo Bills will somehow avoid the Kansas City Chiefs in the playoffs this year

Is this the year Buffalo somehow avoids Kansas City in the playoffs? ... means someone would've to lose or somebody... but somehow they don't meet. ... somehow the Chiefs and the Bills will miss each other in the playoffs.

The New York Giants will win 7-9 games and be better than people think

I think the Giants are gonna be better than people think. ... I think that defense is gonna be elite. Their, their defensive line has just monsters on it. So I think they might be one of those teams where... they go jump up to 7, 8, 9 wins.

Scottie Scheffler will eventually reach double-digit majors

If everything stays like, you know, if he stays healthy and plays for 15 more years, like it does feel like he will be in that double digit majors territory.

The Indiana Pacers will beat the New York Knicks in seven games

I think it's gonna be Pacers and seven.

The Maple Leafs are in 'don't let us win one' territory and likely won't win a game

the leaves are in a lot of trouble. They're, they're in the, don't let us win one and I don't think they're gonna win one.

Anthony Edwards will score 50 points in a game during the Western Conference Finals

I'm gonna say it right now. 50 Burger coming for Anthony Edwards in this series [WCF]. Feels I'm excited.

Alex Ovechkin will score, Tom Wilson will break the glass, and Pierre-Luc Dubois will score an empty-netter in Game 5 against the Hurricanes

I think Ovy is gonna get a goal. I think Wilson's gonna put somebody through the glass. I think TROs gonna have two assists. And I think Pierre Luke Deis is gonna get an empty netter. Mm. Fuck Yeah. That's what I think.

The Bears and Commanders will meet in the 2025 NFC Championship game

This is January 25th and it is the Washington Commanders against the Chicago Bears for the NFC championship. Wow. That is my game of the year. Putting it all on the line.

Jeremiah Fears will be seen as one of the top two players in the 2025 NBA Draft when it is redrafted in a few years

Jeremiah's just a special kid and he is a grinder. ... three, four years, like when you remake this draft, he's gonna be one of the top, probably top one or two in this draft class.

Luka Doncic will come back in elite shape next season due to the conditioning criticism

I think you're gonna see a different Luka. I do. I think you're gonna see Luka... I think he comes back in elite shape next year.

The Triple Crown schedule must be adjusted as trainers will no longer run horses on two weeks' rest

The Preakness is a classic... but they think it is counterproductive to bring [Sovereignty] back in just two weeks... It's gonna happen more and more frequently in the future until such time as the Triple Crown races become further apart on the calendar.

Clever Again is a strong play to beat the favorite Journalism in the Preakness

There's another horse in the race called Clever Again, trained by Steve Asmussen... he's got speed. He's coming off a really strong race. He's had plenty of rest... I think [he's] a good play to take a shot against Journalism.