Takes

NFL ratings will skyrocket now that the election is over

All those people who are watching electric coverage instead of the NFL, welcome back. The league is better than ever. Ratings are going to skyrocket.

Donald Cerrone is a strong betting value against Kelvin Gastelum

I got to say I see value on the Cerrone side. He's been unstoppable as a welterweight... To me, a guy like Donald Cerrone, who you know brings it the way he does in that minus 155 range... would be appetizing to some bettors.

Tyron Woodley is a live underdog against Stephen Thompson

Tyron Woodley can do it all, and he's going to have to wrestle... he does have the bigger power shot. So to me, plus 166, plus 170... I think there's a little value there... don't sleep on Tyron Woodley. I think he's a live dog.

Conor McGregor has a great chance to knock out Eddie Alvarez in the first round

I think there's a great chance Conor McGregor gets [Eddie Alvarez] out of there in the first round, to be honest with you. Connor's that specialist striker... Connor's left hand is no joke man and i don't know i think he lands and he finds it

Larry the Goldfish has a great chance to cash in the Westgate SuperContest

I'm rooting for him, man. 26-18-1. I think he's going to cash. I think he has a great chance to cash, which is just unbelievable.

The Jaguars will have a bounce-back week and beat the Texans

I'm going with the Jaguars, too. I think this is their bounce back week. They're at home. I'm going to be jagging off hard on Sunday.

The Steelers will win by two touchdowns against the Cowboys if they have any pride

That Steelers game is actually one of those. Like if the Steelers are any good and have any pride, they win by two touchdowns against the Cowboys.

Kanye West has a real shot to win the presidency in 2020

I think Donald Trump winning 2016, Kanye has a shot in 2020. I mean, people like him a lot more than they like Donald Trump and Donald Trump won the landslide.

Sylvester Stallone will run for president in 2020

I'm going with Sly. I'm going Sylvester Stallone. I think this country started down a path of celebrities. That path started with Schwarzenegger a long time ago. Jesse Ventura was the original. I think the next step is Sly.

Barack Obama will admit that aliens exist before he leaves office in 2016

In 2016, as we switch presidents, the current president is going to admit that there are aliens out there which will probably spurn a world government because we'll all have to get together and be like, it's bigger than just us.

Jeff Fisher only gets fired if the Rams have a real collapse this season

I would say it would take... This year, it would take a real collapse. What the hell does that mean? You know, it would have to be like... We no longer have faith in this person... to direct this team toward winning.

John Gruden will never coach again because his TV life is too good

I don't think John Gruden will ever coach again. He has the best life ever... He makes like $6 million a year, whatever it is... Works one day a week. Plays golf.

Jay Mariotti will be the White House Press Secretary for Donald Trump

Jay Mariotti is going to be White House press secretary, and he's going to make sure that only respectable journalists get a seat in that crowd. It all makes sense to me. He was playing the long game.

Chip Kelly will leave the San Francisco 49ers for the Oregon head coaching job.

So Chip Kelly rumors are back, and I think he's going to go to Oregon. Then again, he did say he's not interested in it, and as we know, as Nick Saban proved to us... if a coach in the NFL says they're not going to college, that means they're not going to college.

The Charlotte Hornets will be 4-1 by the time this interview airs on Monday.

Actually, we're probably not going to have this interview until Monday, so what's your record going to be then? [Spencer Hawes]: Probably 4-1.

Wisconsin will beat Ohio State in the Big Ten Championship Game after Ohio State beats Michigan.

Ohio State is going to beat Michigan, then meet us [Wisconsin] in the Big Ten championship game, and Wisconsin's going to beat Ohio State.

If Jimmy Butler wins NBA MVP, I will undergo a sex change and become 'Marlins Woman'.

If Jimmy Butler does somehow win an MVP, PFT is going to get a sex change. [PFT]: I'm going to become Marlins woman, officially, yeah. That's how confident I am that this will never happen.

Spencer Hawes is on pace to record 55 dunks this season.

I actually told Frank before the game I'm on pace for about 55 dunks.

The Dolphins offensive line is fixed and the Jets are bad

I'm going to go with the Dolphins. I think their offensive line is fixed and going to play well, and I think the Jets are frauds. Not even frauds. They're just bad.

The Titans will lose to the Chargers because they spent too much emotion on their Color Rush game

I don't like the Titans. They're coming off an emotional color rush game against the Jaguars, a rivalry match, so I think that there was a lot of emotion spent in that game that they're not going to be able to pull out.

The Patriots and Seahawks will meet in a Super Bowl LI rematch

I think you're right about the Patriots. Who are they going to lose to? I'm taking Seattle. rematched of the game two years ago. I think their offensive line eventually gets straightened out.

The Sacramento Kings and Brooklyn Nets will both fail to win 50 games this season due to our PMT curse

Neither the Nets nor the Kings are going to win 50 games this year... by the power in Pardon My Take and all that are curses and witchcraft.

Aroldis Chapman's ankle will be swollen and he will feel the injury in Game 7

Tomorrow it's going to swell. [Chapman] is going to feel it. He's probably, I don't know, maybe he's got some recovery water... but tomorrow it's going to swell. He's going to feel it.

The 2016 World Series is engineered for the Cubs to win in seven games

I think that this has all been engineered behind the scenes, and you're going to be the one that reaps all the rewards. So congratulations in advance on tonight's World Series champion, your 2016 Chicago Cubs.

Next year is finally Tennessee's year and Butch Jones needs one more season

I'm going to say that you've got to give Butch Jones one more year. He's got a good recruiting class, and next year is Tennessee's year. I really think so.

Jeff Fisher will start Jared Goff in the next three to four weeks to avoid being fired

I'm going to call my shot. Within, I'm going to say, three or four weeks, depending on the record, I think Jeff Fisher is going to make the call. He's going to move Jared Goff up. And at that point, you can't fire a coach when he's developing a quarterback. So that's going to buy him two more years.

The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year

I like Washington. I can't get away from it. Everyone says it's their time, I'm telling you... they're so deep and you can tell that they're kind of almost one of those teams [waiting for the playoffs].

I am 70% confident that the Cubs will force a Game 7 in the World Series

I'm 70% confident that the Cubs can get to Game 7. [Then] Game 7 is 50-50. Game 7 is a coin flip.

I am 100% confident the Bears will lose to the Vikings on Monday Night Football

No, the Bears are going to lose to the Vikings. Actually, I'm 100% confident in that.

The Cowboys will stick with Dak Prescott as long as he continues to win games

If Dak Prescott continues to win games, then the decision is you roll with the hot hand... I think they are going to stick with Prescott as long as he keeps doing well.

The Vikings will eventually find a spectacular way to blow their season

I know what's going to happen. They're going to find a way to blow it, and maybe in a spectacular fashion... Either way, they're going to find a way to blow it. It's either going to be the offensive line that crumbles... or it's going to be Blair Walsh missing another field goal.

The NFL will move to an 18-game regular season within the next five years

There's a chance it will if the NFL makes enough concessions to the union... if there's a way that they can address that issue [player health]... it's going to happen.

LSU will lose to Alabama because Coach O is a 'simple coach' who can't handle a two-week bye

I think LSU's fucked this week. My sabermetrics is you can't give Coach O two weeks to do anything. Coach O has to have a game a week... You don't spend 14 days studying 2 plus 2 equals 4.

Gus Bradley will be fired by the time this podcast airs

I want to quickly talk about Gus Bradley. Because by the time this podcast airs, I'm guessing he's going to be fired. This is a situation where they might not let him back on the plane.

The 76ers should sit Ben Simmons for his entire rookie year

Honestly, I feel like they're not going to want to rush it. Like why would you rush back a number one pick and risk him getting hurt again? So why not just sit him out the whole year?

The Houston Rockets will win over 44 games because Mike D'Antoni is moving James Harden to point guard

Hank, give me Houston's number. I'm going to take the over regardless of what it is. 44. Mike D'Antoni's first year, and they got rid of Dwight Howard, and they're moving James Harden to the point. That team's going to score like 120 points a game.

The Brooklyn Nets will win over 20.5 games because they are the type of team that will surprise people

Oh, like the Nets, 20 and a half... Over... They're the exact type of team that's going to surprise people.

The Clippers will win over 53.5 games because it is a contract year for Blake Griffin

I'm going to go with the Clippers over. Really? 53 and a half. Blake Griffin... he said that he's healthy and chomping at the bit. A little insider information for you. It's a contract year, too. I think they're going to be ready to go.

The Memphis Grizzlies will win over their projected win total because Marc Gasol is back and shooting threes

I'm going to stick with the Grizzlies. I'm going to hit their over. Last year, they started something crazy like 60 different starting lineups because of all the injuries they had. They get [Marc] Gasol back. He's going to be shooting threes this year. So they'll finally have one person who can shoot threes.

The Memphis Grizzlies will lose in six games in the first round of the playoffs

I have a prediction for the Grizzlies. They're going to play really good defense and lose in six games in the first round.

The Chicago Bulls will win under 38.5 games because Dwyane Wade and Rajon Rondo will get injured

Chicago Bulls under. I think they're going to be terrible even with their full healthy team. I think there's a chance Rondo and Dwyane Wade are going to get hurt.

The Lakers will win over 24.5 games and make the playoffs

I'm going to stick with the L.A. Lakers. Over. I'm going to tease my own show. I got the Lakers in the playoffs this year... Byron Scott out, Kobe Bryant out. Like, Roy Hibbert, out. This team can only go up. That's like 25 wins unto itself.

The Cleveland Cavaliers will win under their projected win total because LeBron James will coast and take weeks off

Cavs under. You know they came out hard at the gates, but once they get like five, ten games in, LeBron just coasts, maybe takes a couple weeks off with a fake injury. They're not going to be too worried until the playoffs start.

The Celtics will win under 52.5 games because expectations are too high

I'm taking the under on the Celtics. 52.5 feels like too much. It feels like they're going to be a fine team, but it feels more like a 48-49 win team.

Dwight Howard will become lovable again during his time in Atlanta

I think Dwight Howard's going to get lovable again. I think he's going to be like the guy he was in Orlando. I think he's going to be chill. I think the Atlanta fans don't expect him to lead them to a title. So I think everyone's kind of on the same lily pad right now.

The Golden State Warriors will stumble in December before turning it on after the All-Star break

I'm on the record. I think they're going to stumble out of the gate. They're going to have a hard December. And then they're going to turn it on after the All-Star break.

There will be no more national anthem protests in the NBA this season

I don't think we're going to see any. We've seen some like link to arms... but their sort of take is, great, Colin Kaepernick, they're pretty supportive of what he did as a group... but they need to do our own thing. And they've been trying to find sort of actual, you know, whether it's town halls... doing things like that that they think can make a real world impact.

James Harden will win the NBA MVP because he doesn't have to play defense

I'm taking James Harden because of the Mikey D thing. He's just like, James, don't worry about defense. Which, like, James Harden doesn't worry about defense anyway... I think if you eliminate that 5% of his brain that worries about defense, his offensive numbers are going to be so crazy.

The Chicago Cubs will win the World Series in four or five games

I got to go Cubs. I think it's going to be Cubs too. I think it's going to be four or five games.

The Cleveland Indians will win the World Series and celebrate at Wrigley Field

Man, how heartbreaking would that be if the Indians won in Wrigley Field, huh? And you guys had to watch him celebrate there? God, I hope that doesn't happen. No Cubs, no.