Takes

The 'Younghoe Koo Curse' is real and will ruin the Falcons' kicking game

I am a hundred percent in on a curse that I just made up and it's got a very small sample size. But the Younghoe Koo curse. So Parker Romo went five for five on Sunday Night Football when Younghoe Koo was still on the roster. The Falcons cut him. Parker Romo goes 0 for 2. You gotta put him back on the roster. I agree. Don't even need him to kick. Just give him a job.

The Colts are a legit wagon and Daniel Jones is a good quarterback

Colts 41, Titans 20. So bad news for Colts fans. They finally punted. Good news for Colts fans. They are a fucking wagon... Daniel Jones continues to be awesome... Daniel Jones is just good. No, he's just fucking good. He's just good in the Super Bowl era.

The Bengals should bench Jake Browning for Mike White

I don't really know what to make of the Bengals... I say hit the Mike White button. Right? That's the button that... hit the Mike White button.

Quentin Johnston is officially a WR1 under Jim Harbaugh

Ever since Harbaugh took over, it's just completely different... as bad he is been in the past, you can't like deny that he is just, he's gradually gotten better and better and I mean, hopefully even better... hopefully even better. Yeah... Quinton Johnston might be a wide receiver one.

The New Orleans Saints are officially no longer 'frisky'

Seahawks 44, Saints 13. I'm done with the Saints... This game was over so fast. Blink of an eye game was done... I had 'em in frisky. I no longer have 'em in frisky. They're out of frisky. Let's try to find the Saints first win.

Russell Wilson's NFL career is officially over

Is Russell Wilson done? Should be. Should be... it's just gotta end. Gotta go. This, this was too much... just be done with Russ. We've seen this too much. It's over... the question is, is it this week against the Chargers? You have to go to Los Angeles? No, that's at home. Sorry. At home against the Chargers.

The Buffalo Bills are currently in a mode where they can casually beat teams by 10 points without playing perfectly

It does feel like the Bills are in that mode, that they don't have to play perfect. And they can still, they can still just kind of like casually beat you by 10 points.

Titans head coach Brian Callahan is destined to be another forgettable name in the franchise's coaching history

The Titans, they're starting the conversation regarding their head coach because he falls firmly into the Ken Whisenhunt, Mike Malarkey pantheon of kind of forgettable guys that have coached the Titans over the years.

I don't think Carson Wentz is fixable as a quarterback due to his extensive scar tissue

I'm not ready to say that about Cars. I don't, I don't think that Carson Wentz is fixable. Yeah. I think he's got too, too much scar tissue.

Marcus Mariota is the best backup quarterback in the NFL

I think [Marcus Mariota] is probably the best backup quarterback in the NFL. He was great last year. He was awesome against the Cowboys. And this is actually... for all the talk about Jayden [Daniels] possibly being injury prone, this is the first start that he will miss.

Kyler Murray's decision to post a photo with a pitbull and a Michael Vick jersey shows a lack of judgment

If your quarterback's making, if this is the judgment of your quarterback, that's a bad song. The decision making process is lacking.

The Bears-Cowboys matchup is a 'Gateway Game' specifically for how people view Caleb Williams as a quarterback

I think it might be a gateway game for your feelings about Caleb Williams as a quarterback... Because if they go 0-3, it's gonna be just full, like Caleb's gotta look good.

The Chiefs aren't capable of blowing teams out right now because Patrick Mahomes lacks explosive weapons

I kind of like the Giants in this game. No, I don't think, I think the Chiefs are gonna win six points. I don't think the Chiefs can blow anyone out right now. Mahomes, you don't have enough guys.

Derwin James should be in the conversation for NFL Defensive Player of the Year

I walked away from that game thinking that we should be talking more about Derwin James. I love watching him play... I feel like he should be in that conversation for defensive player of the year.

The Miami Dolphins culture is currently falling apart from the inside

That apple was rotting before it hit the ground. It feel like that house is just falling apart. You go into survival mode. Everybody in the building goes into survival mode... It's like jumping overboard. They like let the kids and the children go first. I gotta go too.

The Indianapolis Colts are a legitimately good team without a clear-cut weakness right now

The Colts have really jumped off the screen. Like even if they had lost a game, I'd still be like, that's a good football team. Yep. That's a legit good football team.

The Commanders should bench Jaden Daniels this weekend to protect him from the FedEx Field turf

I act, I don't wanna see Jayden this weekend. Oh, I, I think we should sit him. Okay. Because I, I'm still dealing with my PTSD Post-Traumatic Snyder disorder. When Robert Griffin had a sprained knee, came back too soon, everything was bad after that... Every quarterback has gotten injured on that turf.

The Bengals should only run the ball with their current backup quarterback room

They [the Bengals] should not try to pass. They should just try to run the football. That's because those four [backup] names—Jake Browning, Sean Clifford, Brett Rypien, and Mike White—that's literally a Mount Rushmore of 'hand the ball off.' Do not try to pass the ball.

Saudi sports washing is working because everyone eventually accepts the money

Credit to [the Saudis]. They kind of, they're doing a pretty good job. They just, because everyone just is like, 'Yeah, I'll come.' It's working. LeBron, us—if they ask us—everybody... I'll do anything for a hundred million dollars. Anything. It doesn't matter what it is.

Teams should only celebrate clinching the division, not the Wild Card or DS

Clinching the playoffs is absolutely celebration worthy... I think when you win the wild card division series, it's like, this should be business as usual. Like we are, we're here now to win a championship. Let's focus on that.

Diego Pavia makes any team better and you can never pick against him

I'll never pick against Diego Pavia again, I've decided, 'cause I picked South Carolina last week. The guy's just a fricking dog. Period. Like, is there any team that wouldn't be made better by Diego Pavia being their quarterback right now?

Texas A&M might have the best portal receiver haul in the country

[Texas] A&M hit on Mario Craver and Cyrus Allen, the two guys at receiver they got outta the portal. That might be the best receiver hall outta the portal so far this year. We may find out that A&M's offense is just really, really good.

Miami is a complete team and a great value at 16-to-1 to win the National Championship

I would put them [Miami] above LSU in Texas. 'Cause it's easier for them to make the playoffs... they fixed the defense. The defense stunk last year... they're a much more complete team.

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Terry Funk, Eddie Guerrero, Harley Race, and Dusty Rhodes are the all-time greats

I like to say six grandfathers instead of Mount Rushmore... Brett Hart... Roddy Piper... Terry Funk... Eddie Guerrero... Harley Race... Dusty Rhodes. Six with a bullet.

AJ Lee is the only free agent in pro wrestling who could top my return to WWE

If you look at the field of eligible free agents in pro wrestling, there's only one that could top what I did. And it was [AJ Lee]. It took a while to massage some things out and get it done, but to me, Wrestlepalooza is the celebration of wrestling.

Ryan Polls' rebuild of the Chicago Bears is a complete joke

The main culprit is Ryan Polls because we are now in year four of a rebuild... it's absolutely abysmal. Year four of a rebuilding they're somehow worse. Ryan Polls has not had a single Pro Bowler drafted. That's pretty crazy.

Aaron Rodgers might be washed

I think they can just give it a little time 'cause I think Aaron Rodgers might not be good anymore. Under pressure, he was a disaster... He might be over.

The Houston Texans are the only Owen-two team with legitimate Super Bowl aspirations

I was looking at the Owen two teams and the only argument for a team that had legitimate Super Bowl aspirations would be the Houston Texans. Every other team that is Owen two was a dog shit team.

The Green Bay Packers might be really good this year

The Packers might be really, really fucking good... the transitive property game, watching the Falcons demolish the Vikings makes me think the Bears are even worse than I thought... and the Packers, unfortunately, are really, really, really good.

The Falcons signed Kirk Cousins as a smoke screen to draft Michael Penix Jr.

I think that the Falcons when they, they probably signed Kirk Cousins and said, Hey, this is a smoke screen. No one's gonna think that we're gonna draft Michael Penix. So a fall to us. So let's just pay this guy a hundred million dollars. So we get our guy and it worked.

I would still take Jaden Daniels over Jordan Love long-term

I did do Barstool Sports Advisors before this game tonight and I said that Jaden Daniels is the better quarterback than Jordan Love. It was not true tonight. I still would take Jaden Daniels overall, although tonight made me nervous 'cause Jordan Love looked pretty dialed in.

Bobby Wagner is reaching the end of his career

I would be nervous a little bit about the defense because it felt like Bobby Wagner might be getting to the end of it because Tucker Craft was just eating you guys alive in the middle of the field.

I wouldn't trade Jaden Daniels for any other player in the NFL right now

I wouldn't trade, I don't think that there's a player in the NFL that I would trade for Jaden [Daniels] right now. He had a bad game. I think that's fair. I but he, he wasn't the main problem tonight.

Mike Vrabel will dominate Mike McDaniel because McDaniel is a dork

The minute a fat guy walks in and says, that's a dork. It sticks in my head. And now in my head it's Mike Vrabel versus Dork. I'm gonna take Mike Vrabel. It just feels like Mike Vrabel versus dork is a mismatch.

Kyle Shanahan will coach extra hard to prove Mac Jones was the right pick

Kyle Shanahan's gonna put a little extra mustard on it to be like, I'm not sleeping at all this week. I need to prove that Mac Jones was the guy and I should have picked Mac Jones and Mac Jones can be a really good starter in the NFL.

I am done with acting in Hollywood movies and will focus only on stand-up and podcasting

I'm out dude. I have no business in the business. I'm out. Stand up and podcasting. I'm 42 in a month and I've had a great, I love doing Dave... but the business has changed and I have more fun doing stand-up and podcasting by far than I ever did doing that other stuff.

John Harbaugh has a problem with second-half collapses and poor game management

This is a John Harbaugh loss. He's got several of them... double digit leads that [blow]. It does feel like he does something like that every year where whether it's like, oh, you forgot that you had a running game or why did you punt there? Or your running back fumbled or your defense didn't play anything resembling your defense from last year.

Josh Allen is currently playing the game on easy mode and is the MVP frontrunner

Josh Allen played awesome, just unstoppable. He looks like he's playing the game on easy mode. And that was maybe game of the year in week one... that did feel like a statement. 251 yards passing in the fourth quarter is just, he was just dicing them up.

JJ McCarthy is the number one 'gamer' in the NFL

JJ McCarthy, gamer dude. Is he the number one gamer that we got right now? ...I think he's become the number one gamer now in the NFL. It's like, well yeah, as bad as things can look. So he's just gonna figure out a way to win.

JJ McCarthy is basically a younger version of Tim Tebow

I've got JJ McCarthy on Tebow watch. He feels like early, early stages Tebow. Where it's like things go poorly for him, but guess what? He's gonna figure out a way to win. And he is gonna drive people insane watching because he'll be like, this guy stinks. Oh wait, this guy's actually really good.

USF should be ranked in the top 10 after beating two ranked opponents

USF... Are they the only team that's beaten two ranked opponents? I believe so. So they beat Boise State and then they beat Florida. I think they're, I think you can make the case. They should be ranked higher. Top 10.

Oregon looks like the best team ever

Oregon looks like the best team ever. Well they do. Dan Lanning... we gotta put a reminder out there that Dan Lanning, if anyone steps to Dan Lanning, take the other side.

Ben Simmons' career is over now that his agent has dropped him

My Hot Seat is Ben Simmons... He got dropped by his agent... if you're getting dropped, you're, you're, you must be bad, bad. You just not care. Yeah. At all. He just literally doesn't care even enough to like take a contract, bad sign. So he's just not, he's he's not represented currently.

Mike McDaniel is in trouble because analysts like Rex Ryan are starting to mock his 'nerd boy' persona

My Hot Seat is Mike McDaniel because now it's open season. Rex Ryan called him McGenius... called him said McGenius guy or whatever the hell he is. Nerd boy. Their team has no respect for their coach. They play like that. They're soft. Every part of their football team it's over.

Chris Boswell is the best kicker in football

Chris Boswell with a 60 yarder to win the game essentially... Chris Boswell is the best kicker in football right now.

Michael Penix Jr. is the greatest goal-line reacher of all time

Michael Penix Jr. is also the greatest... reacher at the goal line of all time. I mean you had the Indiana one, this one... he reaches at the goal line. He scores touchdowns in improbable ways.

Russell Wilson is officially bad

Russell Wilson looked bad. He looked very, very bad. He is bad. Yeah, he is bad. He both appeared to be bad and I know it to be true and he is also bad. And he looked it.

Stefon Diggs is too short and no longer a WR1

Stefon Diggs was nowhere to be found. He looks short. He just looked so small. He does not look like a wide receiver one. I don't know if it's the number change. I don't know if it's the uniforms... Diggs is booty.

Spencer Rattler is not a franchise quarterback

Spencer Rattler I don't think is the guy, I don't think that's crazy to say... I do think he should change his name though. I was thinking about it more. He's got one of the coolest last names ever. And he's got one of the dorkiest first names ever.

The Lions' offensive struggles are proof that Ben Johnson was the 'secret sauce' in Detroit

this is good for the Bears... Because the offense didn't look as good without Ben Johnson. Meaning that you guys [Packers] have whatever made that offense look good last year... Ben Johnson as offensive coordinator for the Lions was five and one against the Packers. The Lions without Ben Johnson, Owen won against the Packers.