PMT DB
PMT DB
Danny & Lucy DeVito, TNF Recap, Weekend Picks, and Fyre Fest
Thursday Night Football officially belongs to Jeff Bezos now, and while the handshake between the Amazon overlord and Roger Goodell was the most awkward human interaction ever captured on film, the game itself actually delivered. The Chiefs found a way to win a game where Patrick Mahomes didn't even look like the best quarterback on the field for long stretches, mostly because Justin Herbert is a cyborg who can throw 40-yard lasers while his ribs are actively disintegrating.
Big Cat and PFT were mesmerized by the Amazon broadcast, specifically the fact that you simply cannot escape the commercials. But the real story was the Chargers doing what the Chargers do best: dominating a game and then handing it away on a silver platter. PFT wasn't ready to let Gerald Everett take all the heat for the game-changing pick-six, even if the guy was literally puking on the sidelines from exhaustion.
PFT CommenterJustin Herbert is to blame for the pick-six because he should have known Gerald Everett was gassed
I'm gonna blame Justin Herbert for that pick-six and not [Gerald] Everett, because he should have known that Everett was tired and asking out of the game and he should have gone to somebody else. If Justin Herbert's the guy that he's supposed to be... then he needs to be able to make the decision to go somewhere else with that ball and not to your receiver who's puking all over himself.
Speaking of coaching decisions, the guys noticed a shift in the Brandon Staley experience. The man who used to go for it on fourth down from his own bathroom has suddenly discovered the thrill of the punt. Big Cat thinks the analytics darling might be losing his edge.
Big CatBrandon Staley has 'blue-pilled' himself into becoming a conservative coach
It's almost like Brandon Staley flew too close to the sun last year. And you know how in the Matrix you get red-pilled or you get blue-pilled? ...Brandon Staley blue-pilled himself and he's going back to being just like a normal conservative coach. Punting on fourth and short, fourth and third. I don't like that. I like Brandon Staley a little crazy.
Week 2 Preview and Locks
Moving into the weekend preview, the board is looking messy. Hank is leaning into the altitude in Denver, convinced that the Texans are being overvalued just because they managed to tie the Colts.
HankI'm taking the Broncos -10 over the Texans because of the altitude advantage
Denver Broncos minus 10 makes no sense to me and therefore I'm gonna take it. The Broncos lost in September at home... they're covering machines because of the altitude and the heat... that combo is a killer.
Meanwhile, PFT has found the ultimate edge for the Raiders-Cardinals game, and it has nothing to do with schemes or injuries. It's all about the sticks. With the Modern Warfare II beta dropping, Kyler Murray is facing the ultimate distraction.
PFT CommenterKyler Murray will play poorly because of the Modern Warfare II beta release
I'm taking the Raiders in this one because this weekend we've got Modern Warfare II's beta coming out. So it's the first weekend where people can play the next Call of Duty dropping... Kyler is gonna have to spend a lot of time on the sticks this weekend... Kyler is gonna play with whatever version of a video game hangover that he plays with.
As for the rest of the slate, Big Cat is bracing himself for a miserable Sunday night in Green Bay. He’s betting on a rock fight because, quite frankly, it's the only path to a Bears victory he can envision.
Big CatThe only chance the Bears have to beat the Packers is if the game is very low-scoring
I'm gonna take the Bears-Packers under 42... The only chance the Bears have is if it's very, very low scoring. So I'm just rooting for a low-scoring game.
The DeVitos in Studio
Danny and Lucy DeVito joined the show to talk about their new animated series *Little Demon*, but the conversation quickly veered into the legendary career of the man himself. Danny shared incredible stories about producing *Pulp Fiction* and how he had to fight Harvey Weinstein to keep John Travolta in the lead role instead of Daniel Day-Lewis.
Lucy talked about growing up with Frank Reynolds as a father and the distance she needed to find her own feet in the acting world before they started producing together. Danny also touched on the idea of "Game Seven" moments that exist for everyone, regardless of whether they play professional sports.
Danny DeVitoEveryone has 'Game Seven' moments in their life, even outside of sports
Everyone has 'em. We have a lot of them. We just think of them only as sports things. But my Game Seven was the day that we were gonna do the pilot for Taxi. There was so much anticipation for this... my Game Seven was this: Jim Brooks sent me a little creepy little plant. And on it, it had a card and said, 'Dear Danny, as Louie De Palma would say, if you don't do good tonight, you'll be eating shit tomorrow.'
Before they left, the guys addressed the internet's obsession with casting Danny as the next Wolverine. While he might not have the height of Hugh Jackman, he definitely has the grit.
Danny DeVitoI am officially the next Wolverine
I am pumped baby. No, I'm like, you're talking to the next Wolverine. I'm gonna do it. I'll... get those fans, you know, get me the job.
Fyre Fest of the Week
Hank is currently embroiled in a multi-front Twitter war. He’s taking heat from the entire city of Seattle for his comments on the SuperSonics, and he’s doubling down on his hatred for the Andrew Luck era in Indy.
HankAndrew Luck was a 'busted chaw' and is an overrated quarterback
Andrew Luck: busted chaw, bad for town. Okay? Fact. Game over and debate. I've had people fucking bitching and complaining... 'Andrew Luck was great?' Every time they make excuses for him, it disgusts me.
Billy Football rounded things out by revealing he suffered a Michael Scott-style injury while cooking salmon barefoot. In the process of explaining his diet, he also managed to completely reinvent the culinary classification of seafood.
Billy FootballTuna is the beef of the sea and Salmon is the chicken of the sea
Tuna is the beef of the sea. Salmon's the chicken of the sea. [Big Cat: Tuna cans literally say chicken of the sea.] No, because it's red. It's the beef.
Just remember, if your doctor starts giggling while holding a syringe, it's probably time to leave the room.
