PMT DB
PMT DB
Danny Woodhead on Rehab, Philip Rivers, and the Great Oreo Debate
Even-year bullshit is officially dead. Big Cat and PFT Commenter are riding high after the Chicago Cubs mounted a legendary ninth-inning comeback to eliminate the Giants and head back to the NLCS. While Big Cat spent the middle innings in a state of total doom and gloom, he’s now fully embraced the power of hope.
PFT CommenterEven-year bullshit is dead now that the Giants have been eliminated
Welcome to Pardon My Take. It is Wednesday, October 12th. And even-year bullshit is dead... Let me tell you something about even-year bullshit. It's bullshit.
Big Cat was quick to point out that while Matt Moore looked like a god for eight innings, the law of averages was always going to catch up to San Francisco’s shaky relief situation.
Big CatThe Giants' bullpen was destined to blow up eventually
The Giants blew a record amount of saves this year. Their bullpen was shaky all year. They were going to blow up at some point.
With the guys heading to Chicago this weekend for Games 1 and 2, the confidence levels are reaching dangerous territory. Big Cat is no longer hedging his bets or worrying about the Billy Goat.
Big CatI am 85% confident the Cubs will win the 2016 World Series
I'm like for overall World Series... 85% [confident].
Power Ranking the Worst Drinks
Wednesday means power rankings, and this week the focus shifted to the beverages you drink when you aren't trying to catch a buzz. Hank started things off by representing the "nut boys" with a classic schoolyard staple.
HankChocolate milk is the #1 non-alcoholic drink
Number one, non-alcoholic drinks, chocolate milk. Shout out to the nut boys.
It wouldn't be a PMT power ranking without some heated regional and aesthetic debates. PFT went with the gas station classic that doubling as a decorative piece for your room.
PFT CommenterArizona Green Tea is the #1 non-alcoholic drink
My power rank for, number one, Arizona, the Great Buy Green Tea. The 99 cent, the big tall boy.
Big Cat rounded out the top tier with a choice that felt almost too obvious to be left on the board.
Big CatCherry Coke is the #1 non-alcoholic drink
I know where I'm starting. Cherry Coke. Oh, yeah. That's good. Can't believe that one wasn't taken.
However, the segment took a turn when PFT voiced his absolute vitriol for a specific mixer that people actually choose to drink straight.
PFT CommenterTonic water is straight garbage
The number one worst non-alcoholic drink. It's tonic water. Tonic water is straight garbage. If I see anybody drinking that in my presence, it makes me want to hurl.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne
The Hot Seat is getting crowded this week. PFT has his sights set on the front office in Tampa Bay after a truly baffling use of draft capital.
PFT CommenterBuccaneers GM Jason Licht is on the hot seat for drafting a kicker in the second round
I guess now my hot seat is going to be Jason Licht, the GM for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, for drafting a kicker in the second round. Kind of a tough move on his part.
Big Cat shifted the focus back to the MLB playoffs, noting that winning has a funny way of bringing old controversies back into the light.
Big CatThe Indians logo is back on the hot seat because the team is actually winning
Hot seat, Indians logo. They're going to be in the ALCS, and that means the Indians logo is going to be on the hot seat again... If you stay bad, no one cares that your logo is offensive.
Meanwhile, the situation in Dallas has Big Cat looking at the collateral damage of Dak Prescott's success. He's worried about the medical professionals who have built their entire business model around Tony Romo's various ailments.
Big CatDak Prescott might have won the Cowboys' starting job for good
Dak Prescott might have won that job. And if Tony Romo doesn't play, he doesn't get injured.
Danny Woodhead Joins the Show
San Diego Chargers running back Danny Woodhead called in to talk about his ACL rehab and life on IR. PFT was visibly giddy to talk to his "old friend," and the conversation quickly moved from medical specifics to the hard truths about snack foods. Woodhead explained that when you're a professional athlete, you can't mess around with inferior grafts.
Danny WoodheadNFL players must use a patellar tendon graft to successfully return from an ACL injury
If you want to keep playing... You know you've got to do the patella. No, no, no. That's part of your knee... And that's the best way. I'm continuing playing, and I'm excited about next year.
Between physical therapy sessions, Woodhead has clearly been doing some deep thinking about the state of Nabisco products. He’s taking a stand against the "thin" Oreo movement.
Danny WoodheadDouble Stuf Oreos are the only real 'regular' Oreos
Double Stuf are legitimate regular Oreos. Old school Oreos are definitely diet Oreos. These thin Oreos that people are trying to say are already diet Oreos? No. Those just aren't real.
On the field, Woodhead offered some serious praise for his quarterback, Philip Rivers. Despite the Chargers' knack for heartbreaking losses, Woodhead insists the guy under center doesn't get the respect he deserves nationally.
Danny WoodheadPhilip Rivers is one of the most underrated players in the NFL
Philip Rivers is, I would say, one of the... I think he's one of the more underrated players with what he can do. He's a pretty amazing quarterback.
Thoughts, Prayers, and Stay Woke
Tim Tebow is back in the news for allegedly saving another life after a fan had a seizure during an autograph signing. PFT isn't buying the "miracle" narrative and thinks there's a much more calculated business model at play involving Tebow's potential supernatural abilities.
PFT CommenterTim Tebow is causing seizures in order to 'save' people
Maybe Tim's got some metal in him... He's either causing the seizure... He's basically a human Pokemon. He is a Pokemon, and he's giving people seizures. He's causing the seizures and he's treating them, which is... a good position for business.
This led to a broader discussion on the evolution of religious figures, with PFT explaining why modern iterations are statistically superior to the originals.
PFT CommenterEvery new iteration of Jesus is better than the last
Every time that Jesus shows up, he's better than his old Jesus. He makes his old Jesus look like a chump. Jesus 2 never hit a dinger. That's a facts only right in everyone's face.
In a quick Stay Woke, the guys looked into the sudden rise of Ken Bone. While the internet fell in love with the red sweater, PFT is looking for the darker motive behind the man in the town hall.
PFT CommenterKen Bone is a government plant to distract us from the election
I think that Ken Bone is either a plant for the Red Sweater Company... or he might be just a guy that's inserted in there to make us just stop freaking out about the election. I think that Ken Bone might actually be like a Jason Bourne type situation where he's an assassin.
To wrap things up, the show debuted a new segment featuring the brilliant ideas the guys write down while in a state of late-night delirium. PFT’s plan for military funding might actually be the most logical thing said all hour.
PFT CommenterThe U.S. government should sell sponsorships for wars to pay for them
The U.S. should sell sponsorships for wars. The Iraq War, sponsored by the Susan Komen Foundation. Why not? I think it's a great idea. It pays for itself.
Keep an eye out for the Suns this year, even if it's just to see them lose to the literal sun.
