PMT DB
PMT DB
Mike Rowe on Dirty Jobs, GameStop Stock, and Billy’s Origin Story
The Baseball Hall of Fame results are in, and it’s that special time of year when baseball writers remind us that they are the true guardians of history. Tom Verducci released a video that was essentially a six-minute love letter to himself and the "minimalism" of a piece of paper, and Big Cat and PFT were not having it. The guys are fed up with the gatekeeping, especially when the greatest players to ever step on a diamond are being left out in the cold.
Big CatBarry Bonds is the greatest baseball player of all time
Tom Verducci filling out a baseball Hall of Fame ballot and leaving the greatest baseball player of all time, Barry Bonds, off of it.
PFT has a simple solution for the self-important writers who think their voting room is a sacred cathedral.
PFT CommenterBaseball Hall of Fame voting should be left to the fans
Leave it up to the fans. Let the fans vote. You buried it. Maybe because you've convinced yourself over the years that you're so important that everybody should look up to you because you get to check a piece of paper.
Speaking of staying in place, Aaron Rodgers decided he isn't actually leaving Green Bay despite the cryptic post-game comments that had the internet in a tailspin. Big Cat is resigned to his fate of seeing number 12 in the NFC North for the foreseeable future.
Big CatAaron Rodgers is staying with the Packers because it is his destiny to torture me for another decade
I knew deep down [Rodgers] wasn't going anywhere because I think it's destiny for Aaron Rodgers to torture my soul for another decade. I think he'll just be there forever.
The GameStop Revolution and Super Bowl Bets
Wall Street is currently being burned to the ground by a bunch of people on Reddit, and it might be the most entertaining story of the year. The guys broke down the GameStop short squeeze, where the "little guy" is finally sticking it to the hedge funds. While it's fun to watch the chaos, Big Cat remains a bit of a pessimist regarding the staying power of the common man against the billionaires.
Big CatThe big Wall Street guys will eventually win the GameStop war because they always win in the end
I'm cynical about all this, so I assume that eventually the hedge fund guys will have so much money that they can wait everyone out and fuck everyone over. I feel like they always win, no matter what. Even if it's a win-the-battle-lose-the-war type of situation... the little guy's winning right now, but the big guy always wins.
PFT is already looking ahead to how the establishment will try to shut down the party once they realize they aren't the only ones who can manipulate a market.
PFT CommenterWall Street will eventually make it illegal to talk about stocks online once they realize message boards are too powerful
What will probably happen is there's going to be one hedge fund that goes out of business like Bear Stearns or whatever and then they're going to come back, rewrite the laws so it's going to be illegal to talk about stocks online and then boom now they're fucking you again for the next hundred years.
With the Super Bowl matchup set, the gambling talk is heating up. While the Chiefs look like a juggernaut, Hank is eyeing a legendary bet on the GOAT.
HankI am considering making the biggest bet of my life on Tom Brady in the Super Bowl
I was thinking about making the biggest bet of my life on Tom Brady before we left Detroit. But I was like, I'm going to wait two weeks and think it out. But I think that's where I'm going to end up.
Mike Rowe Joins the Show
Mike Rowe stopped by to talk about his new show, Six Degrees with Mike Rowe, and ended up giving one of the most fascinating breakdowns of turkey artificial insemination ever recorded. It turns out that having one of the greatest voices in broadcasting history makes even the most disgusting topics sound like a nature documentary. Mike reflected on his career, from being an opera singer to the voice of Every Discovery Channel show ever made, and why he's not afraid of the facts of history.
Mike RoweYou can pull down all the statues you want, it won't change the facts of what happened in history
I'm also looking around and seeing people today convinced they can change our present by altering the past. You can pull down all the statues you want. It's not going to change the facts of what happened. We can't improve the future by shining up the past. It is what it is.
He also debunked the glamour of his previous career in the arts, noting that the smell of a high-end production isn't exactly what you'd expect.
Mike RoweProfessional opera singers smell as bad as professional athletes after a game
Opera singing is disgusting. The costumes you have to wear, they smell like a hockey outfit... I've never encountered a professional opera singer in the midst of a performance who smelled any better than an athlete at the end of the fourth quarter.
Hot Seat/Cool Throne and the Origin of Billy Football
Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured a tragic yet legendary update on Mufasa the Lion, who died during a very specific procedure at the Singapore Zoo. PFT believes we have finally found the successor to the throne left vacant since 2016.
PFT CommenterMufasa the Lion is the official replacement for Harambe
We've been waiting for somebody to fill the gorilla-sized hole where our hearts used to be ever since 2016 when Harambe was taken from us way too soon. And I think we have it, Hank. It's Mufasa the Lion.
Billy Football is also deep in training for his upcoming fight against Jose Canseco. He’s been in isolation, not cumming (for the testosterone), and is fully convinced that he’s going to run through the former MLB slugger.
Billy FootballI will out-muscle Jose Canseco in our boxing match
I knew I was going to out-muscle [Jose Canseco], if anything. So I've just been training speed, punch, output, that sort of stuff, footwork... I am going to kill this guy legitimately.
Billy isn't just stopping at Canseco, either. He’s already looking at the Paul brothers, even if he thinks they're too scared to actually step in the ring with a Barstool intern.
Billy FootballI would 100% beat the shit out of Jake Paul in a boxing match
By the way, I'd 100% beat the shit out of Jake Paul. He wouldn't touch me. They'll never fight me because I actually would beat them. They only choose guys they know they can strategically win with reach.
To wrap things up, the guys took a trip down memory lane to recount how Billy was originally hired. It involved a five-page resume, a Huddle highlight tape, and Billy being so efficient at retrieving a TV remote for Hank that they had no choice but to bring him on board.
Expect a lot more speed and zero split decisions when Billy finally steps into the ring next week.
