Jon Taffer

You can't make Boston racism jokes about Gordon Hayward if he's coming from Utah

One first hot seat is people making Boston racism jokes and saying that Gordon [Hayward] went to Boston because he liked... casual racism. Guess what? You can't say that if he goes from Utah. Doesn't work that way.

Carmelo Anthony's 2 AM workout videos are laughable

Carmelo Anthony was working out over July 4th... it was so laughable that his own team actually laughed at it. I don't know if you saw that clip. No, there was a clip of the Knicks front office sitting at a summer league game watching the clip of Carmelo Anthony working out all laughing at him.

Swaggy P signing is irrelevant to the Warriors' championship chances

The Warriors' odds to win the NBA championship before Swaggy P signed, minus 163. After he signed, minus 163. So Swaggy P is literally irrelevant to the Warriors' chances to win. His wins above replacement is zero.

Adrian Wojnowski is on the hot seat for being 'cucked' by his own reporting and transition to TV

Woj, Adrian Wojnowski on the hot seat big time. He was getting cucked left and right on his reporting... He actually screwed up because he walked back the Gordon Hayward trade, right? And so he's like, actually, it's not done. And then he got double cucked over the top when Gordon broke his own news.

Summer is the best time for Kenny Chesney

My cool throne is Kenny Chesney. When it's hot like this, it's summertime, it's the best time for Kenny Chesney. So he's got a solid two months where you can play Kenny Chesney pretty much at any place, and it will work.

70% of people make a right-hand turn when they walk into a mall

i'm just i'm just a fucking nutcase guys i mean i pick apart and study and you know everything like 70 of people that walk into a mall make a right hand turn now that bothers the shit out of me and because it's true

Adding a second staircase to elevated bar levels significantly increases social interaction

I used to build elevated levels in bar and restaurants like everyone else with a staircase... you feel like a freaking idiot. You've got to turn around, walk back the other way. You're busted... So I simply put a second staircase in on the other side... social interaction went up big time. I'm guessing there are people that are married to this very day because of that freaking staircase.

NFL teams should use comedians or bands as opening acts to improve the stadium experience

what is the kind of stuff that, you know, cat can get that he can't get at home? ...putting a band before a game or after a game so that you can infuse a different type of entertainment into a show doesn't hurt either. I mean, you're going to laugh at this, Dan, but how about a comedian to open as an opening act?

Empty seats in NFL stadiums are a bigger embarrassment than 'minor league' promotions

Isn't that interesting that it's beneath them, but the empty seat isn't beneath them? I mean, it's pretty asinine and pretty egotistical. To me, the empty seat would be beneath everything.

Cold urine smells less than warm urine, which is why bars put ice in urinals

cold piss does not smell as much as warm so is that what it is is it is that why okay because we always just assumed because we're guys we like to pee on snow and ice... I can tell you this. Cold piss does not smell as much as warm.

Zing Zang is the only acceptable Bloody Mary mix

The things I hate the most about bars, number one, when they make their own Bloody Mary mix instead of using Zing Zang. Because Zing Zang... It's the perfected Bloody Mary mix. There's no topping it. It's perfect all around.

An overcrowded bar actually makes less money than one with 20% fewer people

You know what's funny is that bar with 20% less people in it would actually make more money that night. And that's the sign of a rookie owner. Because when a bar gets that crowded, I can't get waitresses to you. Bartenders can't serve everyone. Half the people in the room don't have drinks.

Bar farters are a major societal problem

Number one, I have a longstanding issue with it. Bar farters, anyone who farts in a bar, because they know they have the masses to hide behind. I think it's bullshit when you're walking through a bar and boom, it smells like someone just took a shit on the floor.

Rickie Fowler is coming off desperate by liking all 164 of his girlfriend's Instagram posts

Ricky Fowler, who apparently has been liking... He's liked every single one of his girlfriend's Instagram posts. Yes, 164... He's coming off a little desperate. Maybe tone it down.

Rory McIlroy will not stay off Twitter for more than a week

He got in a fight on Twitter and he gave his Twitter password to his wife... That's going to last about a week. Rory's going to be Jones in to get those retweets back. He's going to have some tweets to fire off.

Serena Williams isn't the best athlete ever if she won't play Wimbledon while 9 months pregnant

I am upset, though, that Serena's not playing because she's pregnant. So I guess she can play when she's just like three months pregnant, but she can't play when she's nine. Fully pregnant. Not the best athlete of all time. With child. I can think of 700 male tennis players that would be fine playing when their wives were pregnant.

Jamie Horowitz should have worn a hat to hide his large forehead

Jamie Horowitz... Definitely should have been a hat guy. Should have went with a big hat. He's got a large forehead, and I'm not saying that's why he got fired, but it's the Tom Crean, right? It's like you can't give them an extra reason to fire you... if you have a big forehead that just looks stupid.

Befriend your TA instead of your professor to get better grades in college

You got to befriend your TA because that's the guy who's going to be reading everything. That's the guy who's going to be doing your grade. That's the guy or girl who is going to be deciding your fate. So forget the professor. Go find the TA.