PMT DB
PMT DB
Packers Fullbacks Danny Vitale & John Kuhn, Mike Florio on Helmetgate
We have officially survived the final weekend of the year without meaningful football, and the energy is high. While most people are worried about the state of the world, Big Cat is looking at the bright side: the football calendar is expanding so rapidly that we might eventually reach the promised land of 365-day coverage.
Big CatSociety will eventually reach a point where football is played every single day of the year
Eventually, we're going to get to a football season that just goes the entire calendar year, and I'm here for it.
Before the real games start, we have to deal with the absolute sludge that is the current crop of preseason storylines. PFT is particularly unimpressed with the signal-caller battles currently taking place in training camps across the league.
PFT CommenterThe NFL has the most boring quarterback controversies ever in 2019
This year, we've got the most boring quarterback controversies of all time, perhaps ever in the history of the NFL... Titans [Mariota/Tannehill], Dolphins [Fitzpatrick/Rosen].
Of course, no preseason is complete without a delusional quote from the Giants front office. After Pat Shurmur suggested that Eli Manning is the starter because the owner says so, Big Cat had to step in and say what everyone else is thinking about the two-time Super Bowl MVP's current standing.
Big CatEli Manning is not a starting-caliber NFL quarterback anymore
Eli Manning's not a starting quarterback anymore. [Pat Shurmur] is saying Eli is our quarterback because John Mara is the owner.
Who's Back and Mount Rushmore of Colors
Hank tried to claim victory for the Patriots getting Josh Gordon back, even going so far as to bet his future on Gordon's availability. If the wideout doesn't make it through the season, the PMT studio might be getting a new feline mascot.
HankJosh Gordon will be on the Patriots for the entire 2019 season
He's [been suspended] for zero weeks. [How many weeks will he be on the team?] All of them. [If he gets cut or leaves] Hank gets a cat.
PFT's Who's Back was Bill Walton, who graced a White Sox-Angels broadcast with his presence. From admitting he's been dead for years to losing track of where fly balls land, Walton remains the gold standard for sports broadcasting.
PFT CommenterBill Walton should be the commentator for every sporting event televised
Bill Walton watching a baseball game is just, it's incredible. He should do way more games. I don't know why they haven't thought of this, but he should just do everything. When they do the Ocho on ESPN, it should just be Bill Walton.
For the Mount Rushmore of Colors, the draft turned into a total mess of shades and pantones. Big Cat stayed true to his roots with a classic pick, though the debate over whether "Baby Blue" is actually "Carolina Blue" nearly derailed the segment.
Big CatCarolina Blue is the best shade of blue
I'll go Carolina blue. Who doesn't love that? Baby blue. Also, a.k.a.
Hank, true to his contrarian nature, decided that currency wasn't enough and went straight for the precious metals, arguing that gold simply hits different than cash. He also threw out a hot take regarding the best Starburst flavor that likely alienated half the audience.
HankGold is more valuable than money
I'm going to go with something better than money, gold. [Gold is more valuable than money.] It is.
HankOrange is the best Starburst flavor
I will go with orange. Best Starburst flavor, color of fire, Charmander.
To round out the draft, Big Cat went with a specific shade that only the true soda connoisseurs would appreciate, proving that Taco Bell’s marketing team has effectively colonized his brain.
Big CatThe color of Taco Bell's Baja Blast is a top-tier shade of greenish-blue
I had a better way to describe it. It is. It's a good color. I had it written down. The color of Baja Blast. That's my last pick. Baja Blast greenish blue.
The Fullback Union: Danny Vitale and John Kuhn
Things got extremely meathead in the studio when current Packer Danny Vitale and legendary Packer John Kuhn stopped by. The interview started the only way a fullback interview can: comparing squat maxes. Kuhn noted that the modern Green Bay offense is moving away from the "face mask on face mask" violence of the past and into a more cerebral, versatile role.
John KuhnThe 2019 Packers offense is set up perfectly for a versatile fullback like Danny Vitale
I told him, I did tell you this offense is set up sweet for [Danny Vitale]. I mean, his set of skills, you don't play Lorenzo Neal fullback anymore in the NFL... you're not just sledding downhill, smoking your face mask on another guy's face mask. You gotta be versatile. You gotta be able to catch 20 yard, 30 yard passes downfield and you gotta be able to run the football.
Danny Vitale, who has been putting up thirst traps on Instagram all summer, defended his vanity but also made sure to defend the intelligence of his position. He pushed back against the "dumb meathead" stereotype, explaining that fullbacks actually have more to memorize than almost anyone else on the field.
Danny VitaleFullbacks are among the smartest players on the football field
Fullbacks get the rap that we're not smart people. I think they're some of the fucking smartest guys on the football field because we got to know every line scheme whether it's a run game or pass game... know every single route because they'll spread you out.
Kuhn also shared some insight into the home-field advantage at Northwestern, explaining why the long grass in Evanston is the ultimate equalizer against speed demons who don't know how to handle "slow" conditions.
John KuhnFast players are at a disadvantage in 'slow' conditions like the long grass at Northwestern's stadium
Fast guys don't know how to run in slow conditions... Slow guys know how to run slow conditions. If you slow down enough. We went down to Chicago one time with Ryan Grant, one of the fastest guys I've ever played with. He would get out of the backfield and just start stumbling... those fast guys, they just can't handle that grass being that long.
Mike Florio and Helmetgate
Internet Dad Mike Florio joined the show to explain the absolute lunacy surrounding Antonio Brown and his refusal to wear a new helmet. According to Florio, this isn't just about safety; it's about a legalistic chess match where the league is moving the goalposts just to spite AB.
Mike FlorioThe NFL intentionally closed the helmet loophole to 'win' against Antonio Brown
At best, it's been horrible communication... At worst, I feel like they just want to win. They're just making it up as they go... once they recognized there was a loophole because they had failed to previously test the Schutt Air Advantage, they jammed that loophole shut to win.
The episode wrapped up with Peter King once again falling for a parody account on Twitter, proving that the veteran scribe shouldn't be allowed near a smartphone after his first glass of wine.
Big CatPeter King should not be allowed to use Twitter after 6:00 PM because he keeps falling for fake news parody accounts
Peter KingRetweeted a parody account... and said, has any player ever done more to shoot his way out of town before ever playing a game there?... Peter King way to go man nothing like eating the trash... I don't think he should be allowed to be on, like, Twitter past 6 p.m.
Make sure to watch out for those calendar invites to the next riot.
