PMT DB
PMT DB
Paul Bissonnette on NHL Playoffs, NBA Predictability, and the Vanny Woodhead Era
The NFL schedule was released in April for no reason other than the league's desire to stay relevant every single day of the year, and Big Cat and PFT celebrated by bringing back the Fastest 2 Minutes. While they broke down the slate with the usual Berman-esque flair, PFT was mourning a major loss to the Thursday night lineup.
PFT CommenterI'm disappointed there is no Jaguars vs. Titans Thursday night color rush game this year
I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed in [the NFL]. Because for the first time in what feels like 10 years, there's no... Jaguars, Titans, Thursday night color rush. That's so fucked up. It's really massive. That was probably my favorite game of mid-October every year.
With the schedule set, the season predictions started flying immediately. Between Big Cat forecasting misery for Cleveland and PFT eyeing a high draft pick for the Jets, the logic was ironclad for April. Big Cat even found a way to bridge his Chicago trauma with the upcoming NFL season.
Big CatMike Glennon will definitely win the NFL MVP this year
Is this the year Mike Glennon wins the MVP? Yes, definitely. Yes. Just saying weird things are afoot.
Speaking of trauma, the Blackhawks are officially dead after being swept by Nashville. Big Cat is in a state of shell-shocked acceptance, acknowledging that the Predators were simply the better team from the jump.
Big CatThe Blackhawks have no chance to win the series after Game 2
The Blackhawks had no chance after game two. Did they score a goal? They scored a couple goals. They actually doubled. No, they scored, what, three goals in the series. That's pretty good.
Biz Nasty Joins the Show
Paul Bissonnette called in to discuss the Stanley Cup playoffs, and the conversation immediately turned to Big Cat’s funeral for the Hawks. Biz didn't offer much comfort, noting that he hadn't seen the team look this demoralized in years. He also gave his pick for who is going to keep rolling out of the Western Conference.
Paul BissonnetteThe Nashville Predators are my pick to come out of the Western Conference
I mean, I like St. Louis, too, but I think Nashville just looks too good right now. That's who I would pick.
They discussed the grit of playing through injuries, leading Biz to reveal he has torn both of his ACLs this year. He’s essentially at peace with his career potentially winding down, which gave PFT an opening to talk about the Capitals. While PFT is riding high on his team, Biz warned that a certain rival still looms large in the East.
Paul BissonnetteSidney Crosby and the Penguins have the Capitals' number
I thought if the Caps could overcome this, they would do okay. But, man, Sidney Crosby and the Pens have their number, man.
Beyond hockey, Biz shared his grievances with the NBA, specifically how the first round feels like a mere formality before the heavy hitters actually show up in the conference finals.
Paul BissonnetteThe NBA playoffs are predictable and the first round is a joke
I mean, the only thing I don't like about basketball is just like it's pretty predictable who's going to the conference final. It's never really a surprise. So it's just the first round's a joke. Does anyone even pay attention until the conference finals?
Vanny Woodhead and Guys on Chicks
In a moment of pure impulsive genius, Big Cat and PFT bought a 1993 Chevy Gladiator conversion van with 215,000 miles on it for $900. Named Vanny Woodhead, the vehicle has two non-functioning front doors and an insurance policy from a sketchy office in Queens that basically told them to use it for a getaway car. They are driving this deathtrap to Philly for the Draft next week.
Tiger Woods also provided a health update, or rather, his camp announced another back surgery. PFT isn't buying the medical reports and has a much more PMT-aligned theory about what Tiger is actually doing with his time off.
PFT CommenterTiger Woods is actually getting hair transplant surgery or steroids, not back surgery
Tiger had a fourth back surgery. I have a stay woke on that... I think he's actually getting hair transplant surgery and he's calling it back surgery... Or steroids. He's getting a steroid implanted in his body.
To wrap things up, the show introduced a new segment: Guys on Chicks. The premier topic was Serena Williams winning a major while nine weeks pregnant. While the world was impressed, PFT provided the scientific breakdown of why this might actually be an unfair advantage.
PFT CommenterBeing pregnant is technically a performance enhancing drug for female athletes due to blood retention and the 'glow'
Also, when chicks don't have their period, they retain more blood. This is a fact. That was blood doping... they have more blood in their body, which carries the oxygen to their cells faster... technically, being pregnant is a PED.
Between Vanny Woodhead's maiden voyage and PFT's Aaron Hernandez e-book being preempted by real-life tragedy, it was a week of chaos that only the conversion van can truly handle.
Hopefully Vanny Woodhead makes it past the Jersey Turnpike without the wheels falling off.
