PMT DB
PMT DB
Jared Goff and Blake Bortles on Super Bowl Blues and Tesla Dipping
We are back in New York after a whirlwind Grit Week, but the content is still coming in hot from the West Coast. Big Cat and PFT sat down at Jared Goff's house with the Rams' starting quarterback and their newest addition, Blake Bortles. The energy in the room was high, even if the Super Bowl memories are still a little raw for the Rams faithful.
The New Look Rams QB Room
Blake Bortles is already making himself at home in Los Angeles, though his transition to the West Coast lifestyle involves some questionable logic. He revealed that he purchased a massive electric SUV for a very specific health reason that hasn't exactly panned out.
Blake BortlesI bought a $160,000 Tesla so I would be forced to quit dipping
So the plan was to buy a Tesla so that I could quit dipping because then I wouldn't have to go to the gas station anymore. So now I just go to the gas station just to buy dip.
While Blake is busy avoiding gas stations just to end up there anyway, Jared Goff is busy dealing with the fallout of the Super Bowl. Hank, being the dedicated Boston fan he is, had to answer for some of the trash he talked leading up to the big game. It turns out Hank doesn't have much faith in Jared's ability to take down the New England dynasty because of how relatable he is.
HankJared Goff reminds me of my friends, and I can't imagine my friends beating Bill Belichick and Tom Brady
Jared Goff... reminds me of my friends. He's very similar to my friends. I could not see any of my friends taking down [Bill] Belichick and Tom Brady.
NBA Finals Chaos and Toronto's Future
The NBA Finals are set with the Raptors taking on the Warriors, and Big Cat is rooting for maximum brain-breaking narratives. After the Bucks' collapse, Big Cat isn't holding back on why Milwaukee's star couldn't get the job done when it mattered most.
Big CatGiannis Antetokounmpo shrunk in every fourth-quarter situation against the Raptors
I feel bad for Bucks fans because they really did after up 2-0. They're like, this is going to be it. This is awesome. And Giannis [Antetokounmpo] just shrunk in every fourth quarter situation.
With Kawhi Leonard leading Toronto into their first-ever Finals appearance, the speculation about his future has reached a fever pitch. PFT and Big Cat are looking at the external winners of this series, specifically how a certain FS1 host wins no matter who lifts the trophy.
PFT CommenterSkip Bayless is the real winner of the 2019 NBA Finals no matter the outcome
Skip Bayless is the real winner of these NBA finals, no matter what happens... Because if the Warriors win, it's an indictment on Kawhi. And Skip gets to say, number two, I told you he was number two. And if the Raptors win, it's a big win for Skip Bayless because then he can retroactively use that and say it means less that LeBron James beat that Warriors team without KD back in 2016 because Kawhi also did it.
Despite the "He Stay" movement in Canada, Big Cat is convinced that the Klaw is already looking at real estate in Southern California. Between family leaks on Instagram and general vibes, it feels like a done deal regardless of the series outcome.
Big CatKawhi Leonard is gone from Toronto no matter what happens in the Finals
I think he's gone no matter what. I think he's made up his mind already no matter what. There could be a world where he's like, I really love it in Toronto, but losing or winning the finals won't change that.
Big CatKawhi Leonard is definitely going to sign with a Los Angeles team after his sister's Instagram leak
Kawhi [Leonard] to Los Angeles confirmed. Yes, yes, pretty much. The uncle definitely knows. [The uncle] was in the background like, 'they know damn well he's not going to be here next year.'
Who's Back of the Week
Hank is riding high on a Lacrosse heater after Virginia beat Yale, leading to some questionable comparisons between Charlottesville and the city of champions.
HankThe University of Virginia is the 'Boston' of colleges
Another huge win for lacrosse. Virginia beat Yale. Virginia's just pretty much the Boston of colleges.
PFT also has some innovative ideas for how to make the sport of Lacrosse (and baseball) more appealing to the average viewer by simply inflating the score to look more like a football game.
PFT CommenterLacrosse and baseball should make goals worth more points to make the final score look cooler
You know what they really need to do in lacrosse? They need to make the goals worth more than one point. It's an easy fix for baseball, too, if you want to draw more attention to your sport. Like in football, a touchdown is really one score, but it's worth six, which makes the final score look so much cooler. In lacrosse, if every goal was worth five points and the final score was 100 to 98.
We also touched on the potential return of Big Sexy. Bartolo Colon might have been a victim of fake news regarding a Tigers signing, but Big Cat is certain we haven't seen the last of him in the big leagues.
Big CatBartolo Colon is definitely going to return to MLB
So he [Bartolo Colon] is going to be back. It's a pre-laden back. I saw a tweet saying that he was signed with the Tigers, and then everyone's like, that's fake news... but he is going to be back.
Segments and Monday Reading
The show wrapped up with a Dad to Dad segment featuring LeBron James letting Bronny Jr. join Instagram. While LeBron is busy being a protective father, PFT pointed out that there’s another NBA star who might be better suited for the "cool uncle" role in that family dynamic.
PFT CommenterDraymond Green is a top five uncle in professional sports
Draymond [Green] would be a top five uncle of professional athletes right now. He's like, I want to go hang out with Unky Draymond. Especially the one that's kind of fucked up and always angry at people.
Finally, we had a Monday Reading (on a Tuesday) from Joey Salads that defies logic. The Congressional candidate decided to brag about his "thousands" of sexual encounters and his mastery of cycle planning. PFT wasn't buying the bravado, suggesting that never having a pregnancy while using the pull-out method isn't a flex on your skill, but rather a commentary on your biology.
PFT CommenterAdmitting you have had sex thousands of times without a pregnancy while relying on 'pulling out' means you have 'beta sperm'
Actually, admitting that you've never gotten [a girl] pregnant when your main point is just pulling out... That tells me you've got beta sperm, bro. You got a little tiny like dead fish in there.
If you want to watch the guys get two knuckles deep into a belly button or see Blake Bortles stare at a toaster oven, make sure to check out the video versions of these interviews.
Don't let the soy boys win.
