PMT DB
PMT DB
Rob Schneider on SNL, Boner Dogs, and Dungeons & Dragons Return
September has arrived, and while the world still feels a bit upside down, the NBA playoffs are providing the perfect level of chaotic distraction. Big Cat and PFT opened the show breaking down a sloppy, defensive Game 7 between the Nuggets and Jazz that felt more like a 2010 Spurs slugfest than a modern scoring explosion. While Jamal Murray and Donovan Mitchell gave us a legendary series, PFT isn't exactly buying stock in a deep Denver run.
PFT CommenterThe Nuggets are going to get smoked by the Clippers in the next round
I think that the Nuggets are gonna get smoked next round. Yeah, I don't care how many inches they have on their team. Clippers are minus about my million units. Clippers Game 1.
The conversation shifted to the Rockets and the perpetual enigma that is James Harden. Big Cat is officially out on the idea of Harden ever showing up in peak physical condition, especially after seeing him take plays off in the bubble.
Big CatJames Harden will never get in shape
Will James Harden ever get in shape? No. I mean he's late to the bubble. I want to saying because he was out of shape... he does that like he'll do it in a game. He'll drive really hard to the hoop. And then the next like three plays [be like] I'm not running up and down.
On the other side of the ball, Chris Paul's resurgence has been a reminder of how much his abrasive personality overshadows his actual talent. PFT even floated a theory that CP3's elite athleticism translates to more than just the hardwood.
PFT CommenterChris Paul's annoying personality makes people forget that he is an elite basketball player and could be a top US soccer player
Chris Paul's personality makes you forget how good at basketball he is because he's the worst anytime... but he's awesome. I still think he would be Top three or top four US men's soccer player. Yes, easily.
Meanwhile, in the East, the Celtics are looking like world-beaters. Hank is reaching peak levels of Boston arrogance, declaring that the road to the Finals is wide open for the C's, mostly because he's convinced the Bucks are frauds.
HankNobody in the Eastern Conference can beat the Celtics
I don't see who's beating [the Celtics]. Okay, that's definitely not the Bucks because they stink.
Speaking of the East, the emergence of "Jimmy Volcano" has Big Cat rethinking his entire list of top-tier players. After watching Butler embrace the bubble culture and basically disown the concept of family vacations for the sake of winning, Big Cat is all in on Jimmy being elite.
Big CatJimmy Butler is a top 20 NBA player
Jimmy Butler, I think we're witnessing the emergence of a top-20 player in the NBA. I am fully onboard... I think now Jimmy Butler is a top 20 NBA player.
Hot Seat and Cool Throne
Hot Seat/Cool Throne featured a devastating update for anyone who drafted their fantasy team early. Alvin Kamara appearing on the trading block is the kind of news that ruins a season before it even starts, and Big Cat is feeling the pain for the fantasy community.
Big CatAlvin Kamara appearing on the trading block is the worst possible news for fantasy owners
Anyone who drafted early for fantasy and took Alvin Kamara. Yep. He is on the trading block now, which is I mean a lot of people probably took them in there with their first pick first round. That's like the worst thing you can see is the trading block.
The Big Ten football saga continues to be a roller coaster of emotions. While there are rumors of an October return, Big Cat is trying to manage his expectations, even as his "dog brain" wants to believe the hype.
Big CatBig Ten football will likely never happen in 2020 despite the constant schedule delays
I'm just going to get my hopes up again. I don't know whatever... knowing it probably won't, but my dog brain takes over. I'm like, yeah. No October we're good.
Hank also managed to land himself on the Hot Seat for seeking medical advice from Billy Football. After a skateboarding accident left Hank with a mysterious hip fluid, he bypassed actual doctors to let Billy perform a "prognosis" in the studio. It’s the kind of cast dynamic that reminds you why this show works: one guy has a medical emergency, and another guy with a "brain formula" tries to fix it.
Rob Schneider on the Sandler Mafia
Rob Schneider joined the show to discuss his new Netflix special, *Asian Mama, Mexican Kids*, and he didn't hold back on the realities of the industry. Schneider reflected on the constant criticism SNL casts face, noting that the "golden age" is usually just whatever generation you grew up watching.
Rob SchneiderEvery generation of SNL fans thinks the current cast sucks compared to the original stars
I also remember think everybody saying we suck, right guys? You're not as good as the First cast and I was like, I know... but I said, I think we're okay. I think you know for our generation of kids growing up watching us, we're going to be their Chevy Chase and Bill Murray.
He shared advice he received from Jay Leno early in his career about the secret to making it in Hollywood, which apparently doesn't require as much material as you’d think.
Rob SchneiderYou only need 20 minutes of great comedy material to become a star in Los Angeles
Jay Leno said many years ago to me, all you need is 20 minutes to become a star in LA. Everybody says how much time you got, everybody says I got two hours. Who wants to listen to two hours of comedy material? If you have 20 minutes and if you have five minutes that kills every time, you can be a star.
One of the best parts of the interview was Schneider explaining why Adam Sandler continues to cast the same group of friends in every project. It isn't just loyalty; it's about having a shorthand in the "trenches" of a film set where you don't have to explain what's funny.
Rob SchneiderAdam Sandler hires his friends because they have a shorthand for what's funny and won't panic in the trenches
He said I don't have to explain to you what's funny. If I ask you to do something... I know you're dumb enough to do it. There's a trust when you're out there doing comedy... if it's not going good you need somebody who can make quick changes to make it work.
Schneider also addressed the bizarre internet conspiracy theory that his movie releases coincide with major oil spills. While he poked fun at the "harbinger of disaster" tag, he had a very specific take on the people writing those blogs in the first place.
Rob SchneiderBloggers are basement-dwelling scam artists who need twelve articles to cover rent
The bloggers and those guys, once you realize the pressure that they're under -- they got to sell like twelve articles to still live in their mother's basement. I just think that they got a scam going.
We also touched on the legacy of *Deuce Bigalow*. While the movie was a massive commercial success, Schneider was quick to defend it against the idea that it somehow signaled the downfall of American culture.
Rob SchneiderDeuce Bigalow did not ruin America
I wouldn't say America's fucked because of that. I wouldn't describe it that way.
Dungeons and Dragons with Timm Woods
The show concluded with the return of Timm Woods for another installment of Dungeons & Dragons. The quest for dragon eggs led the party into a Hatchery guarded by a "Roper"—a creature disguised as a stalagmite. Using the ping pong lottery machine for rolls added a layer of high-stakes gambling to the adventure.
The session ended with the party successfully making off with eight dragon eggs, including one mysterious runic egg that definitely won't cause problems later. Billy closed out the show with one of his trademark "facts" that left everyone wondering about the biology of the platypus.
Billy FootballPlatypuses are the only venomous mammals
Fun fact platypuses are the only mammal that are venomous... they are the only mammal that are venomous. How about that?
If the platypus doesn't kill us, the wait for Big Ten football definitely will.
