The Jets are very much for real

The Jets get their statement win... if they can win one or even two of these three games against the Patriots, Bills, Patriots, they would have to be considered very much for real. I'm ready to consider them very much for real. Their defense is really, really fucking good.

The Vikings are the worst 7-1 team of all time

I think [the Vikings] might be the worst seven and one team of all time... we know that the Vikings are a good team, we know they're fine, but like Kirk Cousins, it's gonna be very difficult for us to ever fully buy in.

I will get Kirk Cousins' face tattooed on my ass if the Vikings win the Super Bowl

I'm gonna get Kirk Cousins' face tattoo on my ass if they win the Super Bowl... I will do the, I was wrong tattoo. If they get to the Super Bowl... I'll also convert to whatever denomination of Christianity Kirk Cousins is.

Shohei Ohtani was just playing against electricians in the World Baseball Classic

If you're talking about Shohei, you can literally say he was just playing against electricians. He got shut out by an electrician.

I am against prenups because marriage should be forever

I'm against prenups. Because if you're getting married, you're never—you're getting married to be together forever. If you really love someone, the money shouldn't matter.

The Celtics are completely back with Jayson Tatum returning to form

He looks so good. The Celtics looks so good. They're, they're so back. Missoula is such a good coach. And he's not forcing it and like trying to take over. 'cause when your team's already second on the east, you don't need to come back and be a superstar.