37 is the saddest birthday for an adult

I'm comfortable in 37. I'm old I'm washed. Who cares? 37 is in terms of the birthday scale. It ranks at the very bottom. The saddest birthday, really nothing burns.

The Chiefs' loss to the Bengals is more heartbreaking than the Bills' 13-second loss

I think that this loss for the Chiefs is more heartbreaking than the Bills' loss. Because here's why... Bills went shot for shot. They gave it their all.

America will be rooting for the Bengals over the Rams in the Super Bowl

I'm going to root my dick off for the Bengals against the Rams... Who's not rooting for the Bengals in this Super Bowl? We are officially rooting for the Bengals to win the Super Bowl... America's going to root for the Bengals.

I am rooting for the Dominican Republic over Team USA in the WBC because they are more electric

The Dominican team is electric and I like to be entertained when I'm watching sports. This tournament's for entertainment. I want to watch more games with the Dominican Republic team. I want more. I'm rooting for the USA correctly, but I respect the hell out of the Dominican team.

I need to get into a car accident that totals my car so I have an excuse to buy a new one

I need to get in an accident that totals this car so that I have no choice but to get a new car. I want to get a sick car. That way I don't even have a choice.

The altitude on airplanes causes people to cry during movies

I was tearing up [at the F1 movie]. It's the altitude. The altitude. I didn't even like the movie that much, but the end got me and they like, oh, it's 'cause you were on a plane. That's a thing.