I could land a commercial airliner if the pilot became incapacitated

If I got behind the wheel or what the stick of a 737 and I was able to talk to air traffic control, I honestly do believe that I would be able to land a plane. It's pretty simple stuff. It's not rocket science, it's air science.

Short people are crucial for conserving food and resources on our dying planet

Being short is better for the future... Not only do shorter people tend to live longer, but they're also crucial in conserving food and resources on her dying planet. The short are also inherent conservationists, which is more crucial than ever in this world of 8 billion. So basically if we were 10% shorter, we would save 87 millions of tons of food per year.

There are wooly mammoth bones and ivory worth millions in the East River

There's a bunch of treasure in the East River... wooly mammoth bones, tusks, ivory. It's treasure. Millions. Billions. The treasure is on East 65th Street next to the FDR Drive in the water... we're gonna try to go get it.

The Bears are still a year away from being real contenders

I'm a little more realistic because I look at the schedule and see, you know, that they really have what—they played one team with a winning record and lost to 'em. I'm a little apprehensive... I just don't think this is their year. I think they're a year away.

Sam Darnold will eventually revert to his old, mistake-prone self because 'you are what you are'

Usually this league you are what you are. You're gonna have moments where you're up here... and moments when you're down here... eventually you're in the middle and that's who you are... [Sam Darnold] looked frazzled [last week] and that can't happen. It just can't happen in the big games... there's a Sam Darnold problem at least in my mind.

The Jaguars will make the playoffs because their remaining schedule is extremely easy

Jacksonville [will make the playoffs]. Look at their, look at their schedule. It's a joke... if they beat the Cardinals this week, then they got the Titans and then the Colts at home and they never lose to him and the Jets at home, they should win three or four of those games.