Papa John is the new face of Kentucky basketball

I think we should just go with a take that Papa John is now the new face of Kentucky basketball. When I think UK Wildcats, I think shitty pizza.

Dogs love vaping and it is a relatively unknown scientific fact

Dogs love vape. It's a relatively unknown fact, but I would imagine that the more chill a dog is, the higher percentage it has to win its competition.

Kyler Murray will be a first-round NFL draft pick

Kyler Murray has made the correct decision, and he's going to be an NFL quarterback. A really good one, probably, too. And now we get to debate for the next two months whether he will be a first-rounder, which he will. He will be.

The Ravens are using Maxx Crosby's failed physical as a convenient excuse to back out of the trade

Either one, [the Ravens] really trust the doctor to believe them on that or two, it's bullshit and it's made up and they're secretly planning a different move and they're using the physical as an excuse to get out of it.

The Raiders' short statement indicates Mark Davis is furious about the rescinded trade

The statement that the Raiders put out said a lot, which is just like 'they backed out of the trade. We have no further comment.' That to me sounds like a pissed off Mark Davis.

The NFL's two-day 'legal tampering' window is a dangerous gift for GMs with buyer's remorse

This two day period is so weird because something like this can happen and then nothing that has been reported over the last day actually has to happen. Right. Nothing's final yet.