The NFL will force Stephen Ross to sell the Dolphins because match-fixing is the only thing owners will actually vote a peer out for

I think that they're going to force him [Stephen Ross] to sell the team. I think this is the only way that an owner could be forced to sell. Because owners have so many skeletons in their closet that they're never going to vote another guy out... But when you start involving like changing the outcomes of games and bribing coaches... I feel like this is a great excuse for owners to try to sell the team or try to vote them out.

The Washington Commanders name won't matter once the season starts

The team name, I think I said it on Wednesday's show, but, like, people get mad about it for 24 hours. No one, like, will remember it, care. Then football will be back, and we'll be like, who cares? It's not going to be – I don't think it makes or breaks anything.

Major Biden should be the animal mascot for the Washington Commanders

I'm hoping that since we're the commanders, which is the name of one of Joe Biden's dogs, the good one, Major Biden becomes the animal mascot. That'd be awesome to have him just patrolling the sidelines, biting the opponent, pissing and shitting all over himself. That's what I want.

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.