The Bears will draft Kyle Trask and he will be a bust

I'm calling it right now. They're going to draft Kyle Trask, and then he's going to stink, and [Big Cat's] life will be made a living hell by a quarterback who sucks that looks exactly like Billy Football.

Jon Gruden would trade his entire draft for Derrick Henry

I feel like it might be [Jon] Gruden. He might do it for Derrick Henry just because of his size. I feel like Gruden is a guy that respects mass.

Arthur Smith's family wealth proves his genuine love for football

His dad is the CEO of FedEx and he could have just been rich. Instead, he's like, I want to grind tape and be an offensive coordinator for a bunch of years and then hopefully get the dignity of being able to stand on the sidelines as my team collapses... it's pretty fair to say that he loves football.

Technically Vanny Woodhead does not exist and is legally destroyed

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of, I couldn't, I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it. No, one [owns it]. The, it's technically like scrap. It's a ghost car. It just hasn't been scrapped.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.