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Void
Uncle ChapsUncle Chaps

The United States should bomb the outback of Australia just to show we're still crazy

We need to bomb somebody. Not that we really care. Some open area. Like the outback of Australia. Nobody lives there. Kangaroos. Fuck up some kangaroos. ... Just to show [Russia], look how fucking crazy we are.

This is a satirical policy suggestion, not a factual prediction.

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Void
May 19, 2021
#1043
Big CatBig Cat

The NBA play-in tournament is stupid

I've decided I'm not going to be Mr. No Fun. I'll just let the playing game happen. I'm not going to tweet that this is stupid. I'm just going to sit here and be right in my silence because... This was stupid.

The NBA play-in tournament has remained a permanent and generally popular fixture of the NBA season, though opinions vary.
Push
May 19, 2021
#1044
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Wizards are a regular season team not built for the play-ins

The Wizards are not built for the play-ins, the regular season team. But we do get another game of play-in basketball in Washington.

The Wizards did win their second play-in game against the Pacers to make the 8-seed, though they were eliminated in the first round 4-1 by the 76ers.
Win
May 19, 2021
#1045
Billy FootballBilly Football

You cannot win in the NBA when Robin Lopez is your go-to guy

I also think anytime Robin Lopez is like your go-to guy... You're probably not going to win that game. Doing some post moves on everyone's ass.

While Lopez had a productive veteran career, teams relying on him for 30+ minutes or as a primary option generally didn't reach championship levels.

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Loss
Uncle ChapsUncle Chaps

Trevor Lawrence will win NFL MVP and the Jaguars have the league's best skill positions

I'm gonna put a lot of money on [Trevor Lawrence] winning the MVP. 'cause the odds have gotta be insane. And he's so good. And now having Calvin Ridley... I don't know if you've seen the clips from their camp. Calvin Ridley's a freak. The Jags might have across the board the best skill positions.

Lamar Jackson won the 2023 MVP. Trevor Lawrence and the Jaguars struggled down the stretch, missing the playoffs entirely, and Lawrence was not in the MVP conversation.
Push
Uncle ChapsUncle Chaps

Trevor Lawrence sucks at throwing the deep ball

I don't think [Trevor Lawrence] sucks, but he definitely sucks throwing the deep ball, which makes him suck. And they don't really have anybody to catch it either... some of the throws that he's made when people are wide open... he just can't make 'em.

Lawrence's deep-ball accuracy remained a statistical point of contention throughout 2022, though he improved significantly in the second half of the season.
Open
Uncle ChapsUncle Chaps

I will get both my big toenails removed if Trevor Lawrence doesn't reach an AFC Championship on his rookie contract

I'm so confident that Trevor Lawrence isn't a bust. If they don't make the AFC Championship on his rookie contract, I will get... five years... I will come up wherever we're recording. I will go [get] both of my big toenails removed.

Trevor Lawrence's rookie contract (including the 5th year option) runs through the 2025 season. As of now, he has not reached an AFC Championship game.

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