Pimento cheese sandwiches taste like microwaved Dunkaroos

You could get the same effect from microwaved Dunkaroos for 30 minutes in your microwave and then making a ball out of it. That's what the pimento cheese sandwich tastes like.

Ernie Els six-putting at the Masters is the worst thing a South African person has ever done in history

The bottom line is what Ernie Els did today was probably the worst thing a South African person has ever done... in the history of the world.

Golf is not a major sport

I don't care if someone shoots the wrong club or if I said the wrong terminology with golf. Golf is not a major sport. It's not one of the four major sports for a reason. If it were a major sport, everyone would watch it.

Dada 5000 is a martyr because he died fighting for what he believed in

I love him. He's a martyr. I love him. He's a martyr. He died fighting for what he believed in.

Beating death in the ring is the same as beating Jesus

You mean to tell me the nigga lost the Kimbo Slice but beat Jesus? ... If you beat death, that's beating Jesus. Like, Jesus died for our sins, right? So, technically, anybody else that dies, it's because Jesus died, too. So, like, I say that puts you right above Jesus.

50 Cent lied about winning the Golden Gloves

50 Cent is so much of a fan of boxing. First of all, he lied and said he was a fighter. 50, you said you won the Golden Gloves. You came in New York City, came up where I came up at. I won the Golden Gloves every time I fought in them. I know everybody around here. 50, you did not fight in the Golden Gloves.