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HankHank

Rob Gronkowski will eventually come back and play football

And [Gronk] is going to come back. No, I was [listening], but Belichick doesn't talk in hypotheticals... I can be a Belichick guy, but also be my own person [and say he's coming back].

Gronkowski returned from retirement in 2020 to play for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

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Void
Mar 27, 2019
#3261
Big CatBig Cat

Cliff Kingsbury is too pretty to win a Super Bowl

Cliff Kingsbury, that guy's too fucking smooth... you can't win a Super Bowl looking that pretty.

Kingsbury never won a Super Bowl with the Cardinals and was eventually fired, though the take is largely subjective regarding his 'prettiness'.
Win
Mar 27, 2019
#3262
Big CatBig Cat

Antonio Brown already wants off the Raiders

Antonio Brown is still subtweeting people. He's still going after people... my theory's right. Like, he doesn't want to be a Raider... He's like one step away from being like, I love the Raiders so much and this is the best move of my entire life. I'm so happy and here's a podcast telling you how happy I am.

This proved shockingly prescient as Antonio Brown never played a regular season game for the Raiders and forced his release before Week 1 after a series of bizarre incidents.
Loss
Mar 27, 2019
#3263
HankHank

The Detroit Tigers will win the AL Central

The Tigers are in the Central, right? Oh, wow. Tigers... Is Vegas always right? [Vegas win total 68]

The 2019 Tigers finished with a record of 47-114, the worst in MLB.

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HankHank

I am rooting for the Dominican Republic over Team USA in the WBC because they are more electric

The Dominican team is electric and I like to be entertained when I'm watching sports. This tournament's for entertainment. I want to watch more games with the Dominican Republic team. I want more. I'm rooting for the USA correctly, but I respect the hell out of the Dominican team.

This is a subjective rooting interest.
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HankHank

I need to get into a car accident that totals my car so I have an excuse to buy a new one

I need to get in an accident that totals this car so that I have no choice but to get a new car. I want to get a sick car. That way I don't even have a choice.

Hot TakeLifeHotSarcastic
Hank did not total his car in a planned accident shortly after this.
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HankHank

The altitude on airplanes causes people to cry during movies

I was tearing up [at the F1 movie]. It's the altitude. The altitude. I didn't even like the movie that much, but the end got me and they like, oh, it's 'cause you were on a plane. That's a thing.

There is scientific evidence suggesting that low air pressure and lower oxygen levels at high altitudes can affect mood and emotional regulation.

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