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Big CatBig Cat

Bryson DeChambeau looks fat when he is playing poorly

When you're bigger and you're doing well, you're strong. And when you're doing poorly, you're fat. And he looks fat today. Not to body shame, but there's something about the plus four next to his name that the strength now becomes a little pudgy.

This is a purely subjective observation about visual perception based on athletic performance.

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Apr 9, 2021
#17420
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Augusta National pipes in bird noises for the Masters broadcast

I'm more convinced than ever that the birds are actually piped in crowd noise. Agreed. There's one bird in particular. They play its call over and over and over. It's a cardinal, I think. They're getting sloppy with it. I think it might be a whippoorwill. But whatever it is, it's very obvious.

While CBS was caught using recorded bird sounds in 1990 and 1991, Augusta National and modern broadcasters maintain the sounds are natural, though the theory persists among fans.
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Apr 9, 2021
#27310
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I like Patrick Reed more than Bryson DeChambeau because Reed is a genuine villain

I somehow like Patrick Reed more because he's more of a villain than Bryson is... He's the ultimate heel in golf. Bryson is like, he's an aspiring heel. [Reed] knows everyone hates him, and he kind of has just accepted it.

Subjective opinion on which golfer is more likable or a better villain.
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Apr 9, 2021
#17422
Big CatBig Cat

Brooks Koepka playing the Masters on one leg is the most heroic thing in sports history

Brooks is playing on basically one leg. It's probably the most heroic thing I've ever seen in any sport ever. This is like Willis Reed. This is Kirk Gibson. Everything that you can think of where someone just triumphs over all these injuries and hardships, that's Brooks shooting plus two today.

While heroic in a sports sense, calling a plus-two round 'the most heroic thing ever' is objectively incorrect and satirical.

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Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

While funny, avian intelligence is usually measured by tool use (crows) or problem-solving, though urban adaptation is a form of intelligence.
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Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

This is a hypothetical claim about a retired player's current ability, which is fundamentally subjective.
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American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.

Inherently subjective and hyperbolic comparison.