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Void
Big CatBig Cat

Drake jinxes teams publicly and then bets against them to profit privately

Drake, is he the best gambler in the world? Because he basically wears the clothing of the team and then bets against them. And it always works in his way. So he wears Kentucky clothes, or he says he's an Alabama fan, and then he bets against them in the big game and cashes his tickets.

This is a humorous conspiracy theory that cannot be proven or disproven without Drake's betting slips.

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Loss
Jan 9, 2019
#4357
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Alabama is the worst 14-1 team of all time

Is Alabama the worst 14-1 team of all time? There probably is a team out there, and remember when I told you a little trivia, 1897 was the last time the team went 15-0... I think they got dethroned by Alabama.

While Alabamba was dominated, they were objectively one of the most talented teams in the country. This is a satirical valuation of the loss.
Win
Jan 9, 2019
#4358
Big CatBig Cat

Nick Saban got significantly outcoached by Dabo Swinney in the National Championship

Not only was it an ass-kicking, Nick Saban got outcoached. He got outcoached. He was outcoached by far.

The final score (44-16) and several failed gambles (fake field goal) support the idea that Clemson's staff had the better game plan.
Void
Jan 9, 2019
#29214
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Nick Saban looked like an anaconda squeezing the life out of himself because he got outcoached

Little Nick Saban looked like he was going to explode on the sidelines. He got outcoached. He was outcoached by far. He does the thing where when he's really mad, you can tell because he just turns red and he crosses his arms and he just squeezes his own body. And he was like an anaconda squeezing the life out of himself because he knows he's not going to get that nut after the game that he needs.

This is a subjective characterization of Saban's body language.

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Void
Big CatBig Cat

The Kawhi Leonard era with the Clippers was an absolute failure

The Clippers Kawhi era is maybe the most unforgettable or or forgettable, I'm sorry, era of all time. Like they did nothing. Just an absolute tease.

This is a subjective evaluation of a player's tenure with a team.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

France is playing the World Cup on 'easy mode' and looks unstoppable

France is just playing on easy mode. Like they're not even trying and they're just dummying people... France could have played with nine guys and they probably would've won that game.

This is a subjective observation of a team's dominance.
Void
Big CatBig Cat

Cristiano Ronaldo is an absolute bum

But yeah, Ronaldo's, I mean, he's an absolute bum. I think we can all agree, right? Zach?

Subjective categorization of an all-time great player as a 'bum.'