Lionel Messi is afraid of killing everyone in Argentina because he chokes so much

Messi's afraid of killing everybody in Argentina because he chokes so much. So he's doing the right thing and dropping out. And I'd like to see players in the U.S. start to drop out for the right reasons instead of the wrong ones.

Lionel Messi lacks the clutch gene and is likely a relative of Nazi Josef Mengele

I think that Messi might be a relative of a Nazi because a lot of them went to Argentina after the war to try to escape. Now, there was a doctor [Josef Mengele]... He was unable to uncover the clutch gene and isolate it. And that's why, you know, like Hitler, if he had had the clutch gene, he probably wouldn't have choked... Mingel moved to South America, had sex with an Argentinian. A few years later you get [Messi].

Lionel Messi should go to Cleveland and win a championship to repair his legacy

When the whole world thinks you're a quitter and is down on you, you go to Cleveland and you win a championship.

Paddy the Baddy is the next star of the UFC

Paddy the Baddy was electric. Paddy the Baddy is the next star of the UFC.

I bet LeBron James will announce his next team on Thursday using a golf ball gender reveal format

I think it's going to be like a gender reveal, but with a golf ball. And he's gonna hit the golf ball and it's gonna be the Cavs colors... Burgundy. Do it, do it Thursday. LeBron.

Andy Reid on a horse is a massive Mount Rushmore miss

Andy Reid should have been a pick. The more, just think about it, the more Andy Reid on a horse... that is so fucking funny.