The 2024 Washington Commanders are frauds

Bernie Madoff. Sam Bankman-Fried. The 2020 election. The 2024 Washington Commanders. [Frauds]. Sometimes the haters are right. When the haters are right, you gotta say, great job haters.

Kliff Kingsbury's offenses inevitably decline in the second half of every season

This gets at going back to Kliff [Kingsbury]'s entire existence in the second half of seasons. So back at Texas Tech, here's his record as a head coach... His offense looks completely different right now. We had Austin Ekeler. That's pretty much it.

Jaden Daniels will be a very good NFL quarterback, but rookies don't win Super Bowls

Jaden Daniels will be a very good quarterback in this league. Jaden Daniels is just still a rookie. And that's something that I think was very evident tonight... But Jaden Daniels I don't think is, as a rookie, a Super Bowl winning quarterback. 'Cause no rookies are Super Bowl winning quarterbacks.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.