J.J. Watt is the most basic white bitch in the world

J.J. Watt is the most basic white bitch in the world now. It's official. This is birthday week. [He] wants you to think that he's Rocky training for Ivan Drago and pushing logs up a snowy hill all winter [but] he's got a mansion in Wisconsin with a Starbucks five miles away.

Birthdays are only for girls once you turn 20 years old

Birthdays are for chicks now, right? Like after you turn 20 years old, birthdays are for chicks. Hand over your man card, JJ [Watt]. Birthdays aren't men's stuff anymore.

A nose tackle is the best job in the NFL

I would love to be a nose tackle in the NFL because your job description is like eat as much shit as you want, as long as you can stand up and just not fall over backwards from your own girth. Just be so big that it takes two people to touch you at the same time.

Victor Wembanyama is already better than LeBron James

I'm gonna enjoy him because he's, he's like, I I said on Wednesday's show, he is, he's already better than LeBron. So I, that's how I'm gonna enjoy him.

People only hate on Shai Gilgeous-Alexander's flopping because his play style is fundamentally boring

I actually think the problem with SGA more than anything is he's just boring. That's really what people are upset about. The flopping like sucks. But... more than anything he's just, he's boring because he is a lethal mid-range guy. He doesn't have flashy dunks. He's not doing... He's just methodically an exceptional basketball player.

The Cavaliers-Knicks series is over after Game 1

Series over, you can't lose that game if you're the Cavs. When it went into overtime, we said the Cavs have to win this. This is must win. You can't give this up. All time choke.