The Bears should take a year off from football

I'd be cool if the Bears just not playing football anymore. Just implode the team. Stop the count. No, I want them to exist, but maybe take one year off.

The NFL should stop putting the Bears in primetime

I think I speak for America when I say the Bears playing in one of the primetime slots needs to end. Next year when the schedule comes out, you give us that fucking one Thursday game early in the season, the Jacksonville Jaguars rule, give us that Thursday game, and then be done with it. No more Bears in primetime.

I would bet against the Colts in the playoffs because they are the quintessential 'everything has to be perfect' team

Remind me to please bet against the Colts in the playoffs. Because they are the quintessential everything-has-to-be-perfect team. They have to play from a lead. They have to protect Phillip Rivers. They've got to be able to run the ball, which they weren't able to do pretty much any of those things today.

I lied about destroying Vanny Woodhead; I have been keeping it for years

Technically it's destroyed. Legally it's chopped up. But I kind of... I didn't have the heart to chop it up, so I just been keeping it... I was like, every time it was an excuse I used to not follow through with chopping it up.

Zach Wilson's ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes

Come on, Zach Wilson, his ceiling is literally Patrick Mahomes. That's a fact. If he plays to the best of his ability.

Al-Qaeda is the only one who could have written the Monday Night Football script

Running out with the flag... hard knocks... there was so much hope and hype. And, you know, talking about the NFL script, the only one who could have written that script is Al-Qaeda.