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Win
HankHank

Jalen Johnson is a quitter for opting out of the Duke season

[Jalen Johnson] is a quitter. However, as a Dookie, a diehard Cameron Crazy runs in my blood... If they had a shot, even a chance—they're clearly not going to make the tournament. They're terrible this year. If it was like they were even a bubble team or close to a bubble team and he quit now, it'd be like, alright, fuck this guy forever.

Johnson literally did quit the team mid-season, so the factual part is correct; the value judgment is subjective.

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Win
Feb 17, 2021
#11161
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Coach K’s empire at Duke is officially crumbling

We're totally sidetracking that Duke is—the whole entire empire is crumbling, Hank. Coach K has nothing. He has nothing left.

Duke finished 13-11 in 2021 and missed the NCAA tournament for the first time since 1995. Coach K retired a year later.
Loss
Feb 17, 2021
#11166
Billy FootballBilly Football

Kyle Trask is Kirk Cousins with Tom Brady upside

I'm working on Kyle Trask right now... I'm thinking Kirk Cousins... That's a mid-level. Tom Brady upside.

Trask has been a career backup and has not shown Tom Brady-level talent or even Kirk Cousins-level starting consistency.
Loss
Feb 17, 2021
#11167
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Marcus Mariota would be a perfect trade target for the Pittsburgh Steelers

I feel like Marcus Mariota is the guy that nobody's talking about out there... Here's what I would do, though, if I were the Pittsburgh Steelers. I would trade for Marcus Mariota to sit behind Ben for one year.

Mariota was not traded to the Steelers; he remained with the Raiders in 2021 and eventually went to the Falcons in 2022.

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Void
HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
Open
HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.