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HankHank

Jaylen Brown's necklace bio-streams caffeine and melatonin into the body digitally

It's caffeine and a necklace... use its patented technology to bio stream compounds like caffeine and melatonin digitally without you having to ingest them... It's thousands of dollars.

The product exists and makes these claims, though the scientific validity is widely disputed.

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Void
Jun 26, 2024
#25000
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Connor McDavid cannot win the big one

[Connor McDavid] cannot win the big one. That part is unfortunately true unless you count the Conn Smythe trophy as the big one.

McDavid has since remained without a Cup as of late 2024, though the take is clearly facetious given his performance.
Void
Jun 26, 2024
#17197
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

NHL goalies should be pulled from the ice with at least four minutes remaining

I think the goalie should have been pulled with like six minutes left in the period... no, I think they just like four and a half... I think you pull the goalie super early... it should definitely be more than one minute 45 seconds.

The Oilers pulled Bobrovsky with roughly 2 minutes left and failed to score.
Void
Jun 26, 2024
#17198
Big CatBig Cat

Dog influencers use their pets' social media accounts to get dates

How often do you think fucking happens between two dog owners or a dog owner with that Instagram handle of their dog and uses the DMs to fuck? ... She slid into my goldendoodle's DMs... not Ms. Peaches because Dave is famous in his own right. I'm talking about like the people who have no fame, but their dog has insane fame. You definitely use that dog to fuck, right? A hundred percent yes.

This is an unprovable but highly plausible social observation.

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HankHank

The Knicks will sweep the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Finals

Will you personally be disappointed in Knicks if they don't sweep them? No, I, I know how it goes... but it's, it's Knicks in four.

The outcome of the 2026 ECF between the Knicks and Cavs is pending.
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HankHank

Aaron Rai is a boring PGA Championship winner

Aaron Rai, nice guy, great story. Okay. Boring as hell, boring winner... Nothing happened Sunday... Great crowd, great venue, great fans, great leaderboard going into Sunday. Disappointing finish.

Entertainment value is subjective.
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HankHank

The Jets in Week 16 are a layup win for the Patriots

We get the, the Jets, which is a nice, like layup week 16 leading into the Broncos and the Dolphins. So we got like kinda two easy wins and then a tough challenge week 17.

Outcome depends on the 2026 NFL season results.