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HankHank

Jaylen Brown's necklace bio-streams caffeine and melatonin into the body digitally

It's caffeine and a necklace... use its patented technology to bio stream compounds like caffeine and melatonin digitally without you having to ingest them... It's thousands of dollars.

The product exists and makes these claims, though the scientific validity is widely disputed.

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Void
Jun 26, 2024
#25000
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Connor McDavid cannot win the big one

[Connor McDavid] cannot win the big one. That part is unfortunately true unless you count the Conn Smythe trophy as the big one.

McDavid has since remained without a Cup as of late 2024, though the take is clearly facetious given his performance.
Void
Jun 26, 2024
#17197
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

NHL goalies should be pulled from the ice with at least four minutes remaining

I think the goalie should have been pulled with like six minutes left in the period... no, I think they just like four and a half... I think you pull the goalie super early... it should definitely be more than one minute 45 seconds.

The Oilers pulled Bobrovsky with roughly 2 minutes left and failed to score.
Void
Jun 26, 2024
#17198
Big CatBig Cat

Dog influencers use their pets' social media accounts to get dates

How often do you think fucking happens between two dog owners or a dog owner with that Instagram handle of their dog and uses the DMs to fuck? ... She slid into my goldendoodle's DMs... not Ms. Peaches because Dave is famous in his own right. I'm talking about like the people who have no fame, but their dog has insane fame. You definitely use that dog to fuck, right? A hundred percent yes.

This is an unprovable but highly plausible social observation.

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Void
HankHank

Roman Anthony is a defensive liability for the Red Sox because everyone is successfully running on him in left field.

Roman Anthony, world baseball classic hero. But he has been, he's become a meme basically. If he can't, he just can't throw anyone out from left field. Everyone's just running on Roman. Shane tried to tell me he was great last year, but he was playing right field. Now he's playing left field... it's just not good.

Whether a player is a 'liability' is subjective, though defensive stats can provide some evidence over time.
Loss
HankHank

AJ Brown will be traded to the New England Patriots

[AJ Brown is] gone no matter what... New England. [In my] unbiased mind, he's still gone.

AJ Brown was not traded to the Patriots in the immediate aftermath of these rumors.
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HankHank

UConn can't win the championship

I hope UConn can get it done. I don't think they can win it all.

UConn was in the 2026 Final Four. Resolution depends on whether UConn won the championship.

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